AvPD?

I'm a Registered Nurse working in Paediatric Intensive Care. I finished university nearly 4 years ago after completing a double degree in a Bachelor of Applied Science (Exercise and Sport Science) and a Master of Nursing.
I am considered a very attractive girl/woman who throughout adolescence and adulthood always had male attention. I had my first boyfriend aged 16 of which the relationship lasted 2 years, ending due to my overwhelming insecurity. I dated and had romantic interest but was against being in another relationship due to the way it made me feel like I always had to be on guard. I entered into another relationship aged 22 lasting nearly 1 year. I choose partners of whom possess qualities I find successful and attractive - such as unmatched intelligence, outgoingness or physical attractiveness due to the way I think it reflects on me.
Superficial interactions and relationships are generally easy for me but I pull away at the first sign of anything deeper where I may reveal flaws or become vulnerable.
I am an only child conceived through IVF, my parents were 36 and 41 respectively when I was born. I was never directly abused by them (and for the most part their marriage has been a happy one - they have recently celebrated 42 years of marriage)but during early childhood due to financial and career stress my parents would fight and drink every night and at times I would bare the brunt of verbal abuse. Although I know deep down my parents love me and would do anything for me, they did not compliment me in my young years and any positive achievement i.e. scoring 97% on a test was met with 'well what was the 3% you got wrong'.
I have recently had flashbacks of my paternal uncle (now deceased) sexually abusing me as a child.
I have debilitating self image issues despite positive feedback from others. I have massive issues with sex and intimacy and find it extremely difficult to relax and enjoy. I am acutely aware of my body during sex.
I have only had 2 sexual partners (the boyfriends listed above).
I have become isolated and 'enjoy' my own company largely - because I feel that's the only time I don't have to be on guard. I have recently (over 2 years) gained 20kg through being sedentary and binge eating. I am now working out with a trainer but still self sabotage through food - food is a comfort and produces a response I can rely on - it will always make me feel happy and safe whereas other things, like relationships, are unpredictable.
It has only been in the last few months - since returning from a 7 week holiday with 2 friends from work to Europe, on a tour with 44 people - that I have come to realise how avoidant I am. People I was with said their initial impression of me was a disinterested snob (as I was so quiet and withdrawn). I spent my days looking at the other girls who I thought were more attractive than me and outgoing and wanting to be like them. At nights I would drink in excess and act promiscuously.
Do you think I have AvPD?
What are your stories+coping mechanisms?

Welcome to pc

I think you may have "traits" of AvPD but probably not the disorder (but I'm no doctor, I'm just fuzzy )

Hello combatqueen: Welcome to PsychCentral! PC is a great place to gain support as well as to obtain mental health related information. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more you'll gain from the time you spend here.

Unfortunately I am not in a position to comment on your question. However I would presume that there will be other members here who will. Please also check out the Personality Place Forum Personality Place - Forums at Psych Central as well as its sub-forums for additional information. My best wishes to you...

From what you wrote it doesn't seem you have AvPD. There's this checklist with the fitting criteria. Not saying it's accurate or could dismiss a visit to a professional, but you seem far from most of the criteria for AvPD.

You surely have issues with self-steem and trauma that make you avoid people, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're an avoidant.