There is only a certain level I can tolerate of people talking to me

Hi Forum,

I think this is both a Personality and an Anxiety problem because I have positive results on both tests from a Psychologist with 40+ years of experience.

I can only approach people in a fussy:choosy sort of way. I get judgemental about certain people, but to replace judgement with a Buddhist loving kindness mantra of karma, this only becomes a bore for an ADHD person like me. To be mindful of the present moment, to pay attention when you want to eat your food at near top speed or be restless in your chair, mindfulness doesn't do the job your after.
Approaching people has become easier with medication when I approach shopkeepers, but not with the fellow patients at my dialysis centre. I make awkward decisions about whether to go to the hospital for haemodialysis, it is beneficial for me I know. Doing it at home takes too much work and is not suitable for my metabolism. The nurses know what they are doing when it comes to my Kidneys and other bodily functions better than I knew my self when I did it at home.
I have trouble figuring out what to say because I am avoiding things so much I don't have a life. However I pay myself out for not having a life even when I am having one. Or I simply replace these negative thoughts with positive ones which doesn't help, as this becomes a thinking ritual in quasi-Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. So I still can't figure out what to say to people. I lose my sense of humour.
When I talk I often stutter, pause between phrases/clauses, say yeah yeah and breath deeply (breathing exercises only worsen my Bronchial Asthma - time for the puffer!).
On another related front, because I am avoiding, having Kidney problems and been traumatised at school; I get tired or depressed and sleep during the day, which creates a problem for taking my medication on time or properly with food (though I still take it).
Does anyone have any social supportive suggestions for being on the way to remedying these things? I live in the bush capital of Australia where the Red Cross has it MATES social outreach program and Connections Volunteers' has theirs too. I am involved in both. I am also involved in some of the Red Cross' Social Groups, which include: Art and Craft, Conversation and a Book club. I need to make the effort to go to them but I don't like leaving the house much. I don't like socialising much.
I have a Gym membership at a YMCA community fitness centre to still use up, they cater for people with medical conditions better. And I am going to University to do a Bachelor of Software Engineering/Business Informatics.

I am seeing 3 therapists including the 1 above. There is my Psychiatrist and Social Worker. Besides my renal doctor I also see a Neurologist and used to see a Spinal Exercise physician and Asthma doctor.

Thanks: Your feedback would be much appreaciated,

Conder

hey I'm unsure of what you mean to ask or talk with us about, but i'll give it a try

I sometimes have the stutter or pause between phrases aswell, but it's only when i am really uncomfortable. I am unsure why, because as a kid i've never even stuttered or had any problems whatsoever with talking.

I used to sleep Alot and just stay in my bed all morning/afternoon, sleep till
4pm, then go to bed at 3-5 am again. since I've gotten a job again, my sleep schedule has been better usually wake up around 10 am if i don't have to work. It has helped me quite some bit.If i slept all day long it felt like I had just slept the whole day away and couldn't do much more that day, which only got me more depressed and resulted in staying in bed for longer. I must say that not sleeping ( ofc a nap is ok) during the day anymore has done some good things for my psychological state of mind.