Noone knows anyone

I had a conversation with my friend and I still feel myself like if I received a slap. A slap that opened my eyes to reality.
The thing is that I'm...how to tell it...one of these people who are in her own world of fantasy and dreams. Very sensitive. All affects me as hell. I have an idea of the world...and when the reality is not so beautiful, I got disappointed.
I give thanks for having people around as this friend who from time to time, take me back to the Earth.

I was talking to him about my problems in school with my coworkers. It's not that I argued with anyone there but I was pretty disappointed bc noone wants to dirty his hands to arrange problems in the school. Only covering these problems to avoid a bad press.
He told me. People are like this. They try to do the less as possible and they don't like you to be outlined. If you are, they will go against you. Everyone has a strategy.

Everyone has a strategy, everyone has a strategy...this remark is on my mind all the time.

I thought. What the hell! It's a school. It's supposed we are there to work together and fight for the best for kids!

Don't believe nice words, he added, there are people who goes pretending being stupid because they don't want anyone to request anything. And then, there are people who put you a happy face and then, talk about you behind your back.

I must be stupid. Because I tend to believe what people tell me. I asked him: so, how I know if I can trust someone?. He said...you will only see with time. For their acts. Only smile. Don't ask for help. Do the things on your own and smile.

Now, that I'm more open to people...I don't know if it's my own fault ...but it's pretty disappointing bc if I found hard to be comfortable with someone in the past, now I see it even worse.

Hi there
Do you mind if I ask if you are a teacher? I am, and where I work at the moment, what your coworker said is very true.

Yes, I'm a teacher. I guess the same happen in any other kind of job. As I told, he has more experience dealing with people. He is a normal person and he used to give me very good advices.
I feel pretty disappointed lately with many people. I don't know if it's my own fault that I expect a lot from them or I want them to be perfect, because of my own perfectionism.
I don't know. I'm a bit lost, anyway rather to know the real side than being blind for all my life.
I'm glad that I'm now learning to hear my guts. I used to ignore them and it was taking me to some disappointings. Guess, it was me the one who was always afraid of disappointing people. Ironic!

Hi again,
I relate to being a perfectionist! I am too, and try to conduct myself with integrity both in my job and relationships with people. Realising other do not is a rude shock! Then, once you get over the shock, you move to acceptance, and become a little more reserved and wary.
My school is not a good place to work at the moment, and that brings out every one's worst traits. I keep my head down, do my job, and know who I can trust.
We do tend to expect from others what we expect from ourselves. Sadly, the world doesn't work that way.
When I was in my 20's, I thought it should! Now I'm in my 40's, I accept it doesn't.
Good luck to you

I can cope with people being different to me. In the end, we are all different. What it really scares me are two scenarios: the one when a person can be putting a smile to you and you think you can open yourself to this person when this person is being fake with you. And, on the other hand, the advise my friend gives to me about smiling everyone and prettend nothing is bad. But, I know he tells me because he knows if I take risk they can affect me psychologically.
I remember he mentions " survive" several times.

Thank you for your replies. And I also wish you luck in your school. :-)

I was thinking a lot about how I took my friend's words and I can see now how some people could be in this way but how about me, perhaps it's me the one who have to change my way to deal with people and the way I see the reality, even when it was only for my own well-being. That is, I was doing some self-criticism.

I don't consider myself better than other people, just the opposite, I don't stop flagelating myself. Perhaps because of my perfectionism. Only that I'm too much sensitive. Indeed, I'm being awared now that I also have a hidden agenda. In the sense that I'm expecting people being as I would like they were. I'm struggling because they are not or don't see them as I would like.
Always having a perfect ideal idea of how I have to be and how the world has to be.
I'm understanding now that my sensitiviness is a way to play the role of the victim, poor me...the world is not how it must be....I'm not as I would like to be.
I have such a level of not acceptance.
This not acceptance of myself and the world around me is what leads me to take in many behaviours from others that I don't like and that hurt myself. I liked to think that I was doing a comprehension of others but I think what I do is to justify and take things in a exercise to get approval from others. My narcissist wound can't take others think bad about me or disappoint me, because I need them in some way, because I don't like myself...I take things I don't like and let others behaviours and beliefs disturbe my peace.