Avoidant PD versus Avoidant traits

First, say that I have been recently diagnosed for third time with strong avoidant traits and strong traits of perfectionism. I always knew I have traits of Perfectionism because the fear of failing made me avoid stressing situations, even when I was perfectly ready to accomplish or face to these situations.

On a second place, I want to say that I know many posts have been written about avoidant personality disorder and avoidant traits. Sorry, I know is different but I want to understand it. I do it for an old friend with the intend to understand the topic better.
I don't want anyone here can have false expectations because of my posts.
I would like to know the opinions mainly from people who were diagnosed with the whole disorder.

The fact that you have the whole disorder means that you could never be with other people in a relationship, or that you can't change your pattern of thoughts and never overcome your self-defense mechanisms?
I don't know. I want to understand.
Thanks!

I can see this post being flawed as soon as someone without the disorder feels the need to reply... so keep that in mind.

I have been told by my psych that traits will never be an official diagnoses. Your traits aren't AvPD...likely a symptom of,, which
means you will NEVER be diagnosed with AvPD....no matter how many times you post and wish.

There is no fundamental point in learning what you don't have bc all you will do is try and aline yourself with it. Plus, importantly you're then creating a false illusion for your self which only adds to you and the psychs workload.
If you keep adding to issues you're only distancing yourself from reality.

Sure anyone can call themselves an Avoidant but they cannot back it up. You don't have the mannerisms of someone with AvPD and these mannerism cannot be taught as they have moulded the person since early childhood. So you're going to only insult those with the disorder if you try.
I can learn the Spanish language and i can fight a bull (well i can't and wouldn't)...but it's going to be very obvious to the people of Spain that I'm being something that I'm not....plus how insulted would they be making a mockery of their culture...thats how Avies feel with Pretenders.

Another important thing is a person with AvPD would never pretend to be something their not. Even if we had a inclination (not that, that happens) we would still keep our mouth shut, for the reason of being called out with internal consequences of torment. I wont go into this as again no point.

Its possible for Avies to have relationship but they cannot maintain them. Again not going in-depth into it as serves no purpose to those without AvPD.

As soon as a non-avie replies to a post then any poll or discussion about AvPD becomes invalid and flawed bc those views are from someone with other issues other than AvPD which only muddy the waters...PLUS its a ****ing insult.

I have said this respectfully, i have bitten my tongue as i believe you have asked a innocent question. hopefully i have portrayed this.

I've been dxd with "avoidant personality" and I've been married for a long time..

However I was labelled "withdrawn" etc since early childhood..

Different mean people (irl) have had different, negative and mean takes on me (most of them wrong )

However, since i turned into a bear, they tend to keep their mouths shut

Also, although the therapist I saw irl for a long time was extremely mean and cruel at times, one of the more helpful things he said is that he believes "personality can change"...

(Although as he had links with the NHS UK he also said "there is very little we can do" WELL THANKS )

I don't spend much time in an "avoidant community" but I don't personally believe people with this dx are as alike as some may believe

PS a lot also depends on what other dxs people have, depression, complex PTSD etc...

I don't really give a **** what random (stupid) people irl think... I used to though
(Especially if they were doctors )

i dont know either, i was told on the assessment that i had avoidant traits... then started therapy and she told me i had borderline traits...

i would like to understand too, im still waiting for a better dx though since i have a lot of comorbidities...

I understand. Hope you can find soon an accurate diagnosis and therapy can help you.

I hope you find useful diagnoses too

(I'm not sure about "accurate" diagnoses as some just are not accurate. Some of the best clinicians, imo, are not particularly into "labels" as people are all so complex and some labels can stigmatise and harm )

I hear what you say. I think it depends on what is more helpful for the person. Labels are always a double-side sword. I particularly don't like them at all.
My psychologist asked me: who the hell have put on you all these labels? It shocked me but thinking of it later, makes me smile.

I guess it should be only put on the psychiatrist and the patient's hands to ponder labels' helpfuness.

Totally agree!

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It's also interesting how the term "label" always comes up as a throw away line when the individual disagrees or dislikes their DX.