[UCLAFan]

Ever since I was a kid I have kept to myself and as a adult it has gotten worse.i have nosey neighbors and I can't stand them.so I avoid them as much as I can.plus I been hurt so much by my family and ex friends that I don't trust 90% of people I meet.i belong to a epilepsy support group and use to be friends with a few people from that group but they wouldn't keep their mouth shut about the group in front of total strangers.i like my privacy and I hate big mouths like my nosey neighbors or ex friends.the epilepsy group I belong to has a privacy policy where clients aren't supposed to discuss the group outside of the group.the last ex friend that discussed the group outside the group I told on & the epilepsy foundation told her that if she kept bringing up the group in public she would no longer be aloud to be in the group.also growing up my mother would open her big mouth and tell Complete strangers and family members I don't like my business and that I am on disability.she died late last year and her big mouth still affects my life today.i was even bullied as a kid because my mom would tell people I am retarded etc.my mom never learned to keep her big mouth shut.i also hate where I live because people I don't even know their names ask me rude questions that are inappropriate.my counselor I see 2 times a month is trying to talk me into volunteering so I can meet new people and make new friends.but I admit I am scared & avoiding volunteering because I don't want to meet new people that might end up hurting me.

[Skeezyks]

Well... I'm an older person. I lead a solitary lifestyle. Basically I don't want anything to do with anyone in real life. It works for me at this stage of my life. So my personal opinion is that if keeping to yourself works for you... great! There's no law that says you have to be out "mixing" in society.

Of course where the problem comes in is if you really want to be out in society, but you're hiding out of fear or anger or whatever. If that's the case, then I think you really do need to try to figure out a way to get out into the world-at-large, such as volunteering or something else.

The world-at-large is far from a perfect place. (You already know that.) There will always be some people you'll run into, from time-to-time, who will do the sorts of things you talk about in your post. So if you're going to be out-&-about in the world, you have to learn ways of coping with these sorts of encounters.

One important way of accomplishing that is to just be out there having all of the experiences people have on a day-to-day basis & figuring out what works for you & what doesn't. A lot of it is simply a process of trial-&-error. As the saying goes... practice makes perfect. Well... perhaps it doesn't really make "perfect". But, over time, it does help one to develop the interpersonal skills one needs to be able to get along. At least these are my thoughts with regard to your post.

[UCLAFan]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Well... I'm an older person. I lead a solitary lifestyle. Basically I don't want anything to do with anyone in real life. It works for me at this stage of my life. So my personal opinion is that if keeping to yourself works for you... great! There's no law that says you have to be out "mixing" in society.

Of course where the problem comes in is if you really want to be out in society, but you're hiding out of fear or anger or whatever. If that's the case, then I think you really do need to try to figure out a way to get out into the world-at-large, such as volunteering or something else.

The world-at-large is far from a perfect place. (You already know that.) There will always be some people you'll run into, from time-to-time, who will do the sorts of things you talk about in your post. So if you're going to be out-&-about in the world, you have to learn ways of coping with these sorts of encounters.

One important way of accomplishing that is to just be out there having all of the experiences people have on a day-to-day basis & figuring out what works for you & what doesn't. A lot of it is simply a process of trial-&-error. As the saying goes... practice makes perfect. Well... perhaps it doesn't really make "perfect". But, over time, it does help one to develop the interpersonal skills one needs to be able to get along. At least these are my thoughts with regard to your post.

I want friends but been stabbed in the back so many times.that I don't want to meet new people.i find most people to be two faced users

[Fuzzybear]

not everyone out there is a two faced user but sure some are

[Delightful Dingbat]

I used to think something was wrong with me bcuz I didn't fit in, but then I found beer and wine and alcohol..this was at 13...in my foster homeS. My family consisted of my Dad and his mom, my Gram and his dad, my Gpa. I lived there mostly from 2 until 12. Had to go0 cuz Gram had a bad ticker, just too hard on her raising a kid. Dad drove a truck over the Front Range. Anyway, displaced & open to things I guess, I found beer/Mad Dog 20/20 & Boone's Farm made me confident and talkative. Ram away alot, so no home had a chance to hurt me til the last one. My point is, then it was I was thinking I was supposed to "Get out there and socialize". Now, as my therapist says, If I don't like to, well then, I don't have to. Some people are just fine staying home, or being by themselves. If, at my "Advanced Age" of 56 as the SS Judge called it I want to be a homebody....SO BE IT!!!