[pinkdiva42]

Hello, I need support from this group. Thats why i am here. But no one is responding. I am meeting with my therapist on the 18th of this month to talk to her about the APD. I would like to know what steps can i take to start getting better? Even me meeting with my therapist will be for me a big step. I am wanting to know if i can get support here from others who have APD and if someone can guide me into some small steps and things i can do for myself to try and help me to get better. I isolate 24 hours a day, i stay at home and am basically online all day and all night unless i am sleeping. I cant bring myself to go to any holiday or family functions or anywhere where socializing has to happen. I have been like this all of my life and sadly missed out on so much in life. I dont want this APD to be my future as well and i need help and coping skills how to force myself to step out of my box that i have made for myself, my self made prison and how to associate with people in some form or fashion. Having APD is very very lonely and its a sad disorder to have..
I dont want this to still be me in 5 or 10 years from now.. but i dont see any other future either because i cannot see myself talking to others. I need help from all of you and i need support badly... I am praying that some of you see my desperate cry for help and will reach out to me and guide me in the right direction please... HUGS

[Skeezyks]

Hello Stephanie: I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time. I don't have APD. So I suppose I'm not really the member you want to hear from. But I'm a reclusive old troll. I rarely go anywhere. However that's not because I can't go out. I simply choose not to. I am an older person... a "senior citizen" as we're often referred to. I'm married. But I have no extended family, friends, or even acquaintances of any consequence really. I just prefer to keep to myself. (I also don't have a diagnosis although I've been actively kicking around the mental health system for around 20 years & I've been hospitalized twice.)

I'm sorry you're not getting the support you need here on the APD forum. The reality is some forums are more active than others. Perhaps the APD forum is just not that active. It's also possible there are a few members here who've gotten to know one another & it's difficult to break into that circle, so to speak. I don't know. But whatever the reason for your not getting the support you need here on the APD forum, please don't give up on PsychCentral as a whole. Try posting in some other more active forums such as the depression forum, the forum on handling emotions, or the one dedicated to anxiety. There is a lot of support that can be available here on PC. But the reality is it can take a while to become known. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become.

As to your particular concerns, I don't know if you're familiar with Exposure Therapy. Family therapist Kati Morton uploaded a video on this topic onto her YouTube channel a while back. Here's a link to that video:

Kati also has a video on APD itself. Here's a link to that video:

Another member, here on PC, posted a thread a few days ago saying that he also keeps to himself... not because he has to but because he simply prefers to. (Like me!) He made the point, though, that when he does go out he finds that it takes a while for him to adjust to being out. I have found this as well. Even though I can go out, & I do occasionally, when I do it takes some getting used to. In my case, though, my wife & I have a small dog we walk around our neighborhood a couple of times every day. I think that helps. So, if you could bring yourself to just go for short walks around your neighborhood a few times a week, perhaps that might help. Maybe there would be a family member or a neighbor who would be willing to walk with you, if that would help. Just start out taking as short walks as you can tolerate & see if you can build up from there. No talking / socializing required. I wish you well...

[pinkdiva42]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello Stephanie: I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time. I don't have APD. So I suppose I'm not really the member you want to hear from. But I'm a reclusive old troll. I rarely go anywhere. However that's not because I can't go out. I simply choose not to. I am an older person... a "senior citizen" as we're often referred to. I'm married. But I have no extended family, friends, or even acquaintances of any consequence really. I just prefer to keep to myself. (I also don't have a diagnosis although I've been actively kicking around the mental health system for around 20 years & I've been hospitalized twice.)

I'm sorry you're not getting the support you need here on the APD forum. The reality is some forums are more active than others. Perhaps the APD forum is just not that active. It's also possible there are a few members here who've gotten to know one another & it's difficult to break into that circle, so to speak. I don't know. But whatever the reason for your not getting the support you need here on the APD forum, please don't give up on PsychCentral as a whole. Try posting in some other more active forums such as the depression forum, the forum on handling emotions, or the one dedicated to anxiety. There is a lot of support that can be available here on PC. But the reality is it can take a while to become known. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become.

As to your particular concerns, I don't know if you're familiar with Exposure Therapy. Family therapist Kati Morton uploaded a video on this topic onto her YouTube channel a while back. Here's a link to that video:

Kati also has a video on APD itself. Here's a link to that video:

Another member, here on PC, posted a thread a few days ago saying that he also keeps to himself... not because he has to but because he simply prefers to. (Like me!) He made the point, though, that when he does go out he finds that it takes a while for him to adjust to being out. I have found this as well. Even though I can go out, & I do occasionally, when I do it takes some getting used to. In my case, though, my wife & I have a small dog we walk around our neighborhood a couple of times every day. I think that helps. So, if you could bring yourself to just go for short walks around your neighborhood a few times a week, perhaps that might help. Maybe there would be a family member or a neighbor who would be willing to walk with you, if that would help. Just start out taking as short walks as you can tolerate & see if you can build up from there. No talking / socializing required. I wish you well...

Thanks tons for responding to my post. I think i will go look at the emotions group as well i think i may have posted their once already not sure. I am also going to look at the links u sent and try my hardest to go on short walks and try slowly to climb somewhat out of this abyss i have been in my entire life lol... I just really want and need to make some changes in myself.

[CepheidVariable]

Hi there pinkdiva42.

I'm sorry you didn't get many responses to your posts earlier. I had a bad avoidant/depressive episode over the last week and wasn't really on the forums, so I didn't see your posts until today.

I'm glad to hear you've gotten support and therapy that seems to be helping you. The real world interaction is most important, but please feel free to post here or contact me personally anytime. There are some good people here on PC. I do get email notification of private messages and make sure I respond to them quickly. You might also have a little better luck posting on more general forums (like the anxiety forum) since they have more traffic.

Best wishes and take care.

[pinkdiva42]

Originally Posted by CepheidVariable

Hi there pinkdiva42.

I'm sorry you didn't get many responses to your posts earlier. I had a bad avoidant/depressive episode over the last week and wasn't really on the forums, so I didn't see your posts until today.

I'm glad to hear you've gotten support and therapy that seems to be helping you. The real world interaction is most important, but please feel free to post here or contact me personally anytime. There are some good people here on PC. I do get email notification of private messages and make sure I respond to them quickly. You might also have a little better luck posting on more general forums (like the anxiety forum) since they have more traffic.

Best wishes and take care.

Thank you, i also added u to my contacts and sent you a friends request.. so far here the people i have talked to have been very nice and caring and understanding. Not in this particular forum but in other forums and in the chats they will private chat with me so its nice i am feeling like i am fitting in already in this short time.

[CepheidVariable]

Originally Posted by pinkdiva42

Thank you, i also added u to my contacts and sent you a friends request.. so far here the people i have talked to have been very nice and caring and understanding. Not in this particular forum but in other forums and in the chats they will private chat with me so its nice i am feeling like i am fitting in already in this short time.

That's wonderful to hear.

I find the various "checking in" threads can be good for getting to know people and get a feel for the pulse of the community. I really started connecting and chatting with someone after commenting in the "How are you feeling today?" thread that I felt like "frozen mixed vegetables". It was one of those days.

[pinkdiva42]

Thank you and yea i am feeling more at home here and talking to more people so it feels good and i am glad i found this forum for sure..

Originally Posted by pinkdiva42

Thank you, i also added u to my contacts and sent you a friends request.. so far here the people i have talked to have been very nice and caring and understanding. Not in this particular forum but in other forums and in the chats they will private chat with me so its nice i am feeling like i am fitting in already in this short time.

[kecanoe]

CV is right, there is not a whole lot of traffic in this forum.

Small steps?

It sounds like maybe going for a walk and deciding that you will say hi to people you pass would be a first step.

Or, calling people. I hate making phone calls, even easy ones. That might be a first step.

Another thing you might want to try is volunteering. For me, it has been easier to get out of the house if I knew that by doing so I would help someone who needed help.

And, I hope your appointment on the 18th goes well.

[pinkdiva42]

Originally Posted by kecanoe

CV is right, there is not a whole lot of traffic in this forum.

Small steps?

It sounds like maybe going for a walk and deciding that you will say hi to people you pass would be a first step.

Or, calling people. I hate making phone calls, even easy ones. That might be a first step.

Another thing you might want to try is volunteering. For me, it has been easier to get out of the house if I knew that by doing so I would help someone who needed help.

And, I hope your appointment on the 18th goes well.

Thank you, i was able to get into my appointment earlier and everyday i have been forcing myself to get up and go to the mental health club house i am a member of and its really helped me alot. I still have to force myself to get up, shower and get dressed, but once i leave the house i feel so much better about myself.

[CepheidVariable]

Originally Posted by pinkdiva42

Thank you, i was able to get into my appointment earlier and everyday i have been forcing myself to get up and go to the mental health club house i am a member of and its really helped me alot. I still have to force myself to get up, shower and get dressed, but once i leave the house i feel so much better about myself.

Glad to hear you're still doing well.

If you don't mind my asking, what is this mental health club house?