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imchet
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Default Jun 23, 2018 at 12:20 AM
  #1
With AVP, do people ever treat you like you are a narcissist? I seem to get that a lot, I feel very humble, actually self esteem is really low, I feel empathetic, but somehow people often acuse me of being selfish and of acting as if I'm superior. I certainly don't feel superior...
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Default Jun 23, 2018 at 08:34 AM
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Todd Grande on YouTube has a good video explaining the difference between the PD's, why people can confuse them, and how it's actually impossible for someone with AvPD to be narcissistic.
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Default Jun 24, 2018 at 05:10 AM
  #3
My reluctance to engage in conversation has been perceived as arrogance, especially in environments like the workplace where people don't really know me. I make more of an effort now to observe social norms in these situations through eye contact, saying hello or smiling when passing others, etc. I'm still uncomfortable with chitchat, but I find that these small concessions have lessened the general perception of me as intimidating and aloof.
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Default Jul 02, 2018 at 05:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imchet View Post
With AVP, do people ever treat you like you are a narcissist? I seem to get that a lot, I feel very humble, actually self esteem is really low, I feel empathetic, but somehow people often acuse me of being selfish and of acting as if I'm superior. I certainly don't feel superior...
I sometimes feel superior. More than anything.

Are you confessing something cryptic?

If you're not, where not alike Have AVP, but get accused of narcissism
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Default Oct 19, 2018 at 04:04 AM
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It's projection. Narcissists with no self-awareness or even good knowledge of psychology are accusing you of having what they have.
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Default Nov 23, 2018 at 02:51 PM
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I agree, it’s projection

I actually typed out a long rant about my Avpd (I wish I didn’t have it ) but deleted it.

Some people do misperceive some “avoidants” - usually because the judging person is lacking in compassion and empathy

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Default Jan 01, 2019 at 12:35 PM
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Yeah, I've been accused by people of having delusions of superiority. They interpreted my avoidance of people as me 'feeling too good to hang out with them'.
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Default Jan 03, 2019 at 09:03 PM
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Default Jan 05, 2019 at 07:27 PM
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Saw a video by Dr Grande where he tells about how an avoidant can be perceived as an arrogant person and be mislead with a person with Narcissistic traits.
I, myself, as a person with social anxiety and depression, always show a distant image. My god! People are so ****ing fun here in my country. I couldn’t be more different to them. However, they don’t know what’s in my inside.

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Default Jan 09, 2019 at 04:12 PM
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Originally Posted by AzulOscuro View Post
Saw a video by Dr Grande where he tells about how an avoidant can be perceived as an arrogant person and be mislead with a person with Narcissistic traits.
I, myself, as a person with social anxiety and depression, always show a distant image. My god! People are so ****ing fun here in my country. I couldn’t be more different to them. However, they don’t know what’s in my inside.
I’m judged all the time irl because of my anxiety. People are so ****ing fun in this country too.. not. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. You’re so right, those foolish judgers do not know what’s in my inside.

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Default Jan 09, 2019 at 04:59 PM
  #11
Actually we are the ones who judge ourselves more and hardest than anyone else. But, we sometimes neither are aware. For example, when we read other people’s words in a certain way, or when we judge some stuff on others bc it’s easier to see it outside than inside us. Or when we think we don’t deserve to be simply another one with the same value as anybody else.
When you are young you have a real need to fit and be an equal. With time and compassion you learn that you are equal in your diversity. So, why bother.
There was a time when I neither dare to go outside bc I didn’t like myself a single bit. It’s natural that all your body, behaviours and breaths shout out loud and project outside what it’s inside. It’s very normal that people caught it and let them drive for first impressions when we don’t let them see beyond.

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Default Feb 07, 2019 at 08:56 AM
  #12
A lot of this stems from the fact we're stuck in our own heads, making most situations in life about ourselves - how it affects us, how it forces our hand, etc. So, it is very self-involved, which is why people compare us to narcissists. But narcissists are manipulative jerks, so the comparison is off base.

I find that, quite often, reminding myself that a situation is not about me, and moving the focus to the task at hand or the person who is really being affected, goes a long way.
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