How to make a Martian Part one.

Hi guys
I'm a newbie on this forum but not to this planet having been marooned here 67 years ago!
Yes I know thats SCARY OLD!
Since I started trying to improve my condition at the age of 41 (1996) I've made progress sure but I'm still basically a social hermit but I'm a less injured social hermit.

Just recently I learned that conditions like APD are thought to be around 50% genetic WOW!
That factor was not known in 1996 so I think I now have the picture on how I got to be who I am.
I'm a Martian you see, well, an alien definately.

Never had a sense of belonging. Different to Earthlings in so many ways, proper outcast.

So onto the Martian recipe-
My parents were not bad people but dysfunctional. Dad was a quiet gentle person and a miserable social failure. very lonely.
Mum was a very overprotective yet childlike person who became a hermit at middle age. A control freak also. My parents had no social life and never let me out unsupervised so basically I had no social training as a youngster.

Then school happened.
Culture shock!
I had no idea who or what these young people were or what to make of them.
Friends didn't happen. I could not bond with these creatures as they seemed to be doing with each other.
There was nothing my dad could have taught me about the manly art of self defence so the bullies quickly recognised my utter helplessness.
So began the physical and mental torment that school was for 12 LONG years
If I had seen the 7 criteria for APD as a 17 year old I met ALL 7.
The first criteria says Avoidant folks don't take people jobs, well I did because it was all I could get. My childhood was full of fear about the familys financial state. From week to week I didn't know if I would have a roof over my head.
So its fair to say I was more afraid of poverty than I was of being in a people job.
So for the next 20 years I worked in a bank meeting hundreds of people per week.
That was just awful. An exercise in guts grinding but it paid the bills.
During this period no friends came, no relationships. Weird though I was I still had emotions and hormones so women were these beautiful creatures I got to see but not touch emotionally nor physically.

I was 40 and utterly alone. Never had a date. Still a virgin and would likely be buried that way...........