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Member
Member Since Apr 2007
Location: Caribbean!!!
Posts: 106
17 |
Jun 14, 2009 at 09:49 PM
#1
Despite my increase in meds Im still having mood swings. They stopped for awhile but they started again when I saw the guy who hurt me in the past. In my very low moods I cannot bear the thought of having to get up the next morning. I have visions of death or dying and I just feel like a dark shadow is overcoming me.
Then my mood will swing and Ill feel fine and that I can overcome this. Then I'll go back to feel rotten. Its like Im walking in a cirlce and someone snaps their fingers and I go one direction and then someone snaps their fingers again and I go in another direction. But I never get out of the circle and the chaos continues. Last week I felt like visions were taking over my mind and I couldnt move or shout and I just was numb as they ran through my mind. Im tired, so tired of this. Im afraid that one day my good mood will not snap in soon enough and something bad will happen. I tried calling and texting my T this weekend but I couldnt get her and she didnt return my calls. I want a break, but Im afraid that as long as Im attached to my brain, a break is nothing but a dream..... __________________ Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.
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