help with friend

Maybe someone can help. My 48 year old friend who has never had a relationship is behaving strangely. She has had clinical depression most of her life, even as a kid. Recently, she has begun wearing make up, oline dating, having unprotected sex with several different men, and she has invested a lot of money in jewelry. She had never even dated or had a relationship or dated before. She is on a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant, but is suddenly trying to "ween"
herself. She has never said that she is bipolar, but does this sound like mania? I am so shocked at her behavior. What can I do to help her?? We are very close, but she denies anything is wrong. I am afraid she is being used by these men and will get some kind of horrible disease she will have to live with. Is there anything I can do??

whoa! you're feeling pretty frustrated and scared, aren't you! me too...do you have a trusted pastor or counselor friend that you could get her to go with you to talk to? how about family members? sounds like she's "gone off the deep end" as my mom used to say. how scary for you! i had a friend that did the same thing years ago and i was terrified about everything you mentioned....please keep us posted and we'll help you as much as we can. Pat

Do you mind sharing with me the outcome of your experience with your friend? My friends parents are elderly - she's an only. I have just started seeing a psychologist for an unrelated problem, but I've only seen him once and am not expecting another appointment for a while. Should I be worried about her becoming worse? She kind of has a wierd "cackle" kind of laugh after just about every sentence she says. Is there something I can say to her to get her to seek help?
thanks,
Annabella

Your friend is in trouble alright, but intervening is tricky stuff. You say she is your friend, but it's really going to come down to how close a friend as to weather you can reach her. If you're close enough, you might be able to so spill your guts to her that she would be compelled even from the depths of her state. But short of that, not much works. Maybe you could get enough info from a pill bottle to let her dr know she's in rough shape. That's kind of a snoopy thing to do, but hey, sometimes you do things trying to help someone you wouldn't do otherwise. I'm sorry you're facing a tough situation. I hope she gets some help soon.

you aren't going to like this message...my friend told me to get the **** out of her life and she didn't speak to me for a year. finally her son called me and he moved in with his father because he was so afraid of what was going on. he was 16....then he died...and that snapped her out of it.....but she did get STDs and had to take bankruptcy and mortgage her house........Sqrl is correct in saying that an intervention is hard....at best, they're hard.....check out her meds and maybe you can look up what she's taking and perhaps you could also talk to her doctor...doing so at the risk of the friendship....best, pat

Hi. I know who her psychotherapist is. I managed to get the name out of her the other night. Do you think I should try to call the therapist and ask her to notify the doctor who prescribes her meds? My friend's doc appt. is coming up in about a week. I don't know about privacy issues and all... but I would not be asking for information, just passing it along. We have known each other since elementary school, but still, I would not have access to her prescriptions. I'm glad you think this behavior is dangerous also. Thanks for the support.

Gee, sorry to say this, but there is probably not a lot you can do if she isn't being compliant with her meds., by her not taking her mood stabilizers, her mania is going to take over, and depending what variation, Bipolar-II, Bipolar-I which also can have different variants, the disorder is not a "black or white" thing, there are grey areas.
She is 48 (so am I), telling a woman at her age and being manic, will continue to do what she wants, regardless of the outcome, if she is not taking her meds as prescribed.
When a person is feeling the euphoria that often comes from manic episodes, they try to make it last, by stopping meds. and pdoc appts. Sure, it is fun while it lasts but sooner or later trouble follows, crashing, and then sneeky "old" depression slithers in.
Due to all the Patient Privacy Acts, you'd probably not be allowed to talk to her pdoc, but if you can, explain how your friend is acting, and is not taking her meds as prescribed, there may be some suggestions given by him or her, or even one of the nurses.
I am so sorry that you and her are going through this hell at the present time, I send you good wishes for better days.
Please take care,
DE <font color="purple"> </font>

I totally agree with Darkeyes.......you're taking a risk but I'm sure you feel strongly about her safety so that makes you want to do SOMETHING....good luck..Pat

Ya'll have been great. I am calling her therapist on Monday - it can't do any harm. I will keep you posted when I figure this out. In the meantime, I'll call my friend and see what she's been up to this week. What is baffling to me is that her behavior sounds like it came out of some textbook. I have NEVER seen her this way. She went through a spell about 25 years ago that we were concerned about, but we thought it was a reaction to her antidepressant. She is really a very special person and this makes me so sad.

(((((((((((( for you ))))))))))

Wishes for the best



DE