[Nihel]

So it's been 5 days sense i have had an outburst of any kind. I have been kind and calm and peaceful for 5 days just letting things slide off me. I was very proud of myself as are my Boyfriend and best friend. Until my boyfriend's best friend came over.
This is how it went i have been keeping a tally on a dry erase board that is hanging on the fridge so i can remind myself of how well i have been doing. i walked by the marker board this morning and in nice big letters under my tallies is a message from him. "How many shits I have taken today" and he marked down the same number of tallies i have. Now if it was anything else i would of laughed about it. but this is important to me and he insulted me and said my hard work is ****. Now i'm to the point were i almost went into my best friends room just to punch him. Now im sitting here crying feeling like a failure cause i yelled at my boyfriend and im freaking out over nothing. This is so hopeless. Any advice on how to handle this? I wanna talk to him when he gets up but i dont want him to think im being mean about it

[Nikki_busymind]

I think you need a reality check. OK, so it wasn't very tactful, but I don't think it was meant in malice. Do you think the best mate was trying to upset you? Or do you think it was a prank that he thought you'd laugh about or brush off? Surely its the latter. You're reading too much into the fact it was about cr@p! I don't think that he's using a metaphor to get at you either, I think it was the first motion that came into his head for comedic purposes.

Also, I know its your house, but I wouldn't have such a visual display, we have people over often, and I'm not ready to explain or justify the reason for the board, my mood or why I keep that board. Have you considered that maybe you're not in a place to discuss it either? In which case, would it better to have a notepad by the bed, that can be put in a draw when you have guests over? I'm not suggesting you hide your condition, but what I am suggesting is that if you make something viewable, you've got to be able to handle interest or tactless comments.

If you need some closure, don't take it out on your boyfriend - he's got no idea! Just say you think it was an a-hole thing to do, you'd like an apology because you feel he trashed something important to you. Then move on. If this is just the tip of the iceberg and you don't like this guy, or he's upset you before, then its probably best if you either ask your boyfriend to meet him somewhere else, or remove yourself from him. Its hard to advise in that respect because I dont know the history here.

You've got to be able to look at a situation objectively, analyse - how important is this issue to you? What was the persons intention when they upset me? Is it OK to be so angry about this? You should speak with your carer about learning some cognitive therapy techniques, or else your'll end up giving yourself a heart attack! And believe me, my anger levels are through the roof some of the time, so I really do know what you're going through

Take care

[thinker22]

I'd be pissed too and confront him on making a mockery of something that's so difficult for you and important to you. However, I would also consider keeping your tally in a private diary since it's obvious he doesn't get it.

But if he apologizes, I guess try to move on, unless it is a pattern of disrespect.

Hope this helps. You're not wrong to feel the way you do.

[amaviena]

Don't ever be ashamed of how you feel. Cognitive Bahvioral Therapy has been awesome for me too.

[Nihel]

Thanks guys for the advice and support. Nikki he wasn't trying to be mean but this isnt the first time something like this has happened. i would leave a note on there for my boyfriend like please dont forget milk or what ever and he always leave a rude comment "trying" to be funny, so i just removed the problem all together. He also knows what going on with me. I'm alright now my best friend and i talked about it and pointed out alot of what you have said. I have not confronted him but she is going to talk to him i guess. i'm not to sure but i do understand it was a joke i just broke down im thinking it was lack of sleep. anyways thanks everyone for reading what i had to get out