[amaviena]

It started last night (Or maybe I'll say it started 23 years, 7 months, 9 days, 18 hours, fifty minutes and thirty seconds ago).
Mom had gone into a fit of rage and was beating our Cocker Spaniel for not listening to her and turned to be and said that she did not want my boyfriend's dog here anymore. Naturally, he became dramatic after I told him and left, turning to her briefly enough to say, "My dog isn't the reason your dog misbahaves." Her being her came back with $R@#% !$@#. Then turned to me and said I was a liar and needed to talk to my therapist more because obviously I wasn't telling her I was hearing things. Continued to scream at me as I locked myself in my room and cried. I just want a hole to live in. One that belongs to me. She told me the other day that she couldn't possibly be bipolar. The fact that its viciously genetic and she flirts with disaster is a definite no. In case any of you were wondering, I got this disorder out of the sky.
It's really hard to be sane when your support group crashes around you and is full of people who won't help you.
I'm moving in with my boyfriend and will move myself away from her so I can recover properly. We're looking for an apartment that will take us, on a limited budget, by the end of the month.
My job is suffering. I can't get my act together. I don't know if this is the right choice, but I've been so upset I can't think striaght. My tdoc asked me not to make any rash decisions before this happened because of the episode I was having, but how do you fail to make decisions if your life isn't stable? What do you do when you have to make one? I'm so lost.

[thinker22]

I hope your bf is a good person, but if I were you I'd do the same thing. Getting away from harmful people is always the best decision. I try to put distance between myself and my family, not because they're horrible people, but because it was necessary to grow as a human being and see things (family dynamics, childhood, etc.) from a disaffected place. Now I can rationally evaluate what they did wrong and right and how they meant well but were imperfect and at times unintentionally cruel, but were not healthy for me in the long run. Best of wishes and stay in touch.

[amaviena]

thank you. I appreciate those words more than you realize.

[amaviena]

Found an apartment LOLOLOLOL
Should I not make important decisions on the upswing either?
I have a shopping lilst a mile long.
Oh, don't worry...it's not like I'm mixed up.
Just up up up up...Hopefully this will stay hypomania.
Having trouble concentrating. My numbers for work are going to look miserable this month. I should feel badly about that, but I don't. Please someone change my 1-800-number...ALSO I HAVE SOME REQUESTS...
<3

[thinker22]

Glad you found a place. Hypomania is nice for a change. What was it you were going to ask for?

I got a lot accomplished today despite my exhaustion and depression, but I'm about ready to collapse.

So when can you move in? Do you have enough saved to do so right away?

[jattitude]

new apartment, new beginings.. I am happy for you

[amaviena]

Boyfriend found the only apartment that would take him thus far based on his misdemeanor record five years ago on a side of town I do not want to live that's more than an hour from work every day. I freaked out and told him no and had a panic attack and was never going to talk to him again...but then I calmled down and realized I was being irrational and not thinking things through and not looking out for my best interests.

[thinker22]

Is it impossible to get the apartment under your name in a better/closer to work part of town?

[amaviena]

He doesn't want to do that bvecause there would be a gap in HIS rental history. Sometimes I feel like all he cares about is himself. I don't know if that's accurate though. I don't trust myself anymore.

[thinker22]

I'm not married and my partner and I have our names both on the rental agreement. But then, if they did a background check I guess he'd still disqualify you at some places. Still, there can't be only one apartment in all of Phoenix that will take him. Can you research it on your own? I mean, you inquire, then in the end, add him on the rental agreement after your credit history has already cleared?

[amaviena]

In this state, you have to be background checked and credit cleared for all household members over the age of 18. I know this probably isn't the only place we can get but it seems like the quickest place so far which unfortunately means better.

[thinker22]

That blows. Patience is a virtue? Not like it's one of mine. I'm more in the seven deadly sins category than the fruit of the spirit.

I'm relaxing after a day of appts, having my high octane beer and thinking weird thoughts as you can see. I hope it turns to hypomania...cross your fingers.