[bridgie]

Had my first appt today. First one with a new doc. First one in years. Years of pretending I'm not going through mood swings. Pretending like nothing is wrong. Then having to tell someone what is going on, who you've seen before, what you've taken before and why. How many hospitalizations have you had. Are you anxious? That's not anxiety. Apparently I dont have a bad a problem as I thought. Then the how often do your moods happen every hour every cpl hours every day a week two weeks. I just need to get a picture. It sounds like bipolar but I can't tell in an hour. I don't like that you've stopped meds on your own who knows if that is what was causing your nightmares. I don't have any idea what works bcz you haven't been on anything long enough to tell for sure. Oh my goodness. I about wanted to say fine then I just won't come in and ask for help bcz I'm sure everyone comes in telling you they are bipolar and anxious because its so much fun. We just want to be on these meds so badly I'm gonna make it all up. Yea. That's good. He did start me on lamictal. I don't know. I'm having serious doubts right now. I don't even know how to describe how I feel. My mind is so alert yet I'm so tired and want to cry. Tears are in welling in my eyes as I type but I can't cry. It won't come out. Just water in the eyes. And they want me to see a therapist. I don't know what I'd talk to a therapist about. What the si. Possibly. The irritabliity. Learn some cbh. It might work. Only if I have the motivation to make it work. And I'm not feeling very motivated. I'm feeling a combination of things. It is kind of making me numb.

[sfu454]

I am taking Lamictal and Lithium. I understand the first visit thing, you have to tell them all your dark moods and cry like a baby in front of them because you live in a horror movie all day everyday. I understand where your coming from. Stick to the lamictal. I went from Effexor for 9yrs to Lamictal, I'm haveing a very deep low right now, but it was working for me. Just everything else in my head is stronger than the meds.

[Berries]

(((((bridgie)))))
Good for you for showing up. Sometimes if we just keep showing up things have a way of working out in the end.
Sorry you didn't feel believed or validated by this pdoc. And I'm sorry the appointment stirred up so much for you.
I hear and understand your frustration ---

Originally Posted by bridgie

about wanted to say fine then I just won't come in and ask for help bcz I'm sure everyone comes in telling you they are bipolar and anxious because its so much fun. We just want to be on these meds so badly I'm gonna make it all up. Yea. That's good. .

When is your next appointment? I hope you made one and will keep it. The more your pdoc gets to know you the more he will trust and understand your self-reports.

GOOD JOB TODAY!!!!

[bridgie]

I go back in a cpl weeks the meds should be up to like 100 mg a day at that point. I did set one up with a therapist too. I hope it all goes well. The last therapist I ddnt care for. I've just had bad luck in finding a good doctor I hope this works out.

[Berries]

Originally Posted by bridgie

I go back in a cpl weeks the meds should be up to like 100 mg a day at that point. I did set one up with a therapist too. I hope it all goes well. The last therapist I ddnt care for. I've just had bad luck in finding a good doctor I hope this works out.

I hope so too. You deserve some relief!!!

[thinker22]

I've had bad luck with p-docs and t-docs too. About 50-50 actually. Half are terrible or just are too busy to care and listen and half actually try to help you and listen to you...at least that's been my experience. I fire the ones who don't seem to care. It says to me, "I have too many patients and my own problems to deal with you."

As soon as the psych nurse figured out I was bipolar, she started me on Lamictal. At low doses while you're vamping up (so as to not break out in the rash) it has little to no effect on your mood, sadly. So don't give up until after you've been on it for quite some time. I'm not even yet up to 200mg (the lowest therapeutic dose) and I started it the first sunday in July!! Plus, if you're on birth control (as I am) it can cut the dose in your system as much as half! So when I get to 200 it could be like only 100 for an ordinary person (and hence like an aspirin for a migraine...as the doc said).

Hope you have an anti-depressant in addition to the Lamictal because chances are it alone will not pull you out of your depression for weeks. Not to make you feel worse. I just want to give you a heads up. It was like a placebo to me when I was on Seroquel. I still wonder what it's doing if not making me hyper. But it's not supposed to do that. Whatever, I'm weird and running on, but I care about you, and sorry you're so sad right now.

You will be happier some day. The process sucks, but the alternative is worse (being at the whims of your severe emotions with no end/hope in sight).

Stay well. And if you feel your doc isn't listening to you or giving you the right thing for your depression, you can always make an appt with another one. Try for a recommendation from someone you trust in the professional field.

I'm glad you went.