[perpetuallysad]

Ok, I am not sure where this goes (anxiety, bi-polar, general weirdness...)

Earlier my son was next door playing in the garage at his best friends house. They broke a glass and my son came home really upset and worried he would be in trouble. Of course, I didn't really care, as long as no one was bleeding and everyone was safe. Anyway, I grab my broom and dustpan to go clean up the glass (it was one of those really thick juice glasses).

I get over there and the mom comes out saying she could clean it...blah blah. I did it, no big deal. Then the boys show me a gecko they found and had befriended (not positive the gecko was happy, but the boys were ecstatic). So I go into this description of how geckos are really unique in the way they can climb vertically and on ceilings on the slickest surfaces, start explaining the biology of all this and on and on. I cannot stop myself. The mom is looking at me like I had turned into a gecko and walks off while I am talking to her; I finally, utterly humiliated, just turned around and went back home.

Obviously this experience was hard on me. I have an intense and uncontrollable fear/paranoia about talking to other people and its really hard for me to be just "hi" friendly with my neighbors for the sake of my son. The problem is that I always do stupid sh@# like that when I talk to people. I hate it, but I am absolutely powerless to stop myself. I will be screaming in my head "STOP, STOP THIS NOW!!!!!" I will just keep going until the person just walks off or something interrupts and grants me an exit.

Does this happen to anyone else? How do you control it?

[NuckingFutz]

I use to do that all the time, especially when i am manic. Just got done updating my facebook status with a comment about debating with the squerrels that it would be in their best interest to share the pecans this year. I have accepted this about myself. It took a while and some some therapy, but i did it. By the way, who keeps juice glasses in their garage!?

[perpetuallysad]

Oh the boys were drinking lemonaid. They are 8 year olds, so it didn't occur to them that glass probably wasn't the best choice.

I hate that I have no clue how to relate to regular people. I hate that I say bizarre things to people.

[birdcrazy]

It took a while for me... I picked my username for a reason... cause I'm nuts about birds, lol and couldn't stop talking about them. I had to train myself to shut up.

[VickiesPath]

You know what, guys? Each of you sound exactly like teenagers. This is one of the characteristics I find so refreshing about teens and also nerds. Ha!!! People of high intellect and social skills that don't necessarily follow the "norm" tend to do these kinds of things but they are incredibly interesting. I bet those boys thought you were the most interesting mom they had talked to in a long time!

[perpetuallysad]

Thanks Vickie. The boys do love me, kids do in general. Before, when I was still sorta able to function in public, I was a teacher and I loved it. Kids are awesome and far less judgmental than adults. And I am a complete and utter nerd. Thankfully, my husband is too, so he enjoys/tolerates my long explanations and discussions of random things.

[BNLsMOM]

I do it all the time. My husband feels free to tell me I am going on and on. Do you have someone who can give you a reality check so that you can train yourself to stop when you want to?

Also, I think it was very rude of that mom to walk away from you without a word.

[Berries]

When I am manic, I go on and on and on on subjects as if I am an expert but I really know very little about the subject.

At least you know what you are talking about!

[perpetuallysad]

One of my "things" I do when I am manic is gather immense amounts of information on whatever seemed to interest me at the moment. Its great for trivia games, but makes me weird as hell. Say, for instance, I decide to find out about Aztecs (as I recently decided), I will buy books, search academic articles, read everything I get my hands on until that fancy passes, then I pick something new. I've taught myself tons of things and have a vast store of knowledge, but I cannot small talk with another parent to save my life. Mostly I avoid being in any situation where I have to talk to people at all. My conversations consist of talking to my husband, sister (who think mental illness is BS and mostly does all of the talking) and my son and his friends. My husband and the kids are the kindest and usually listen to my explanations and are usually willing to even try out whatever new thing I've learned (if its a skill of some sort). I know 2 adults who don't think I'm an idiot and will have conversations with me, but unfortunately, both live far away, so most of our conversations are written letters (which is fine, but not instantly gratifying--which I am looking for a lot of the times).

The only time in my entire life that I felt mostly comfortable was when I was in college at a small liberal arts school and befriended a lot of the professors in my field. They usually listened and took part in my conversations in a way that no one else really ever has. I miss that so much. I tried working on my master's degree at a larger uni, but the classes were big (40-50 people compared to 10 or so at the small college) and the professors were extremely closed off to conversations with me (I think with the students in general). I ended up quitting after 2 semesters, even though I want nothing more than to get my phd.

Geeze louise, even here I just went into a big long rant about a bunch of stuff I am sure no one gives a crap about. Arggggggggggggggggg. Stuff like this makes me feel so alone.

[lynn P.]

I don't find what you said a bother at all - in fact it's interesting. I think the mom was rude for just walking away like that and she was probably bothered they broke the glass. She should have thanked you for being considerate in coming over to clean up the glass. I see her response as the problem not yours.

I think you're a very intelligant person. Most small talk is just about frivolous surface conversation and most people don't know what to say to intelligent information. You can learn the skill of small talk. Please don't feel alone - I just don't think she's a friendly person

[lonegael]

You know, the mom was probably a bit insecure and is one of those types who feeles judged if her handbag doesn't match her shoes. I really don't even think she knows that the lizard the kids caught was a gecko, and yes, rude for walking off. Give her another chance, though. She might have a flexibility problem. PerSad, you sound just like me, and if I get nervous or afraid that I am talking too much. It gets worse. I have started explaining to people that my ancestors from the old sod (Ireland) must have tongued the blarneystone when they kissed it before leaving for America. The response is usually something like this but they recover quickly. I used to lie awake, I'm not kidding, wondering if somehow i said something just unbelievably damagin or hurtful that I forgot in the midst of all the stuff I said. It's happened. You know, the kids probably thought it was great.That's what matters anyway, right?

[Pamela Choi]

OMG, I have been there b4. she is confused. Her life is boring and her idea of small talk is boring for example, I joined the PTA. Did u know what so and so said. I understand that is hard to let it go, she probably forgot what happened because her so called life is so busy.
Also, women find that ur smarter than them, it is their own problem.

The new is, you did not go off on her, i know i would!

[NuckingFutz]

I can relate to everything said here...i research things as well like you do. Spent all last spring studying the second world war. They sure did sanitize that subject in school so much they left out so much major stuff that it didn't really make sense. I study nonmainstream stuff like what makes a psychopath a psychopath. Hollywood sure hyped that one up. Here i am rambling all over your thread. Sorry. I have decided to embrace this part of me.

[babydoll233]

Your neighbor needs to take some classes on how to be a nice person... You have no reason to be mad at yourself, SHE was the rude one, I wouldnt even look her way or talk to her ever again.... What happened to kindness in this world???

[AAAAA]

Oh I do this all the time, you're not alone! With things I find interesting I research and learn everything I can. I LOVE the discovery science and history channels. I'm interested in a wide variety of random things. When they come up in conversation, I just cannot shut up. I notice that teens and younger kids don't mind, I've taught my own kids that the internet is a wonderful thing and EVERYTHING you ever wanted to know is out there, you just have to look.

But I've also noticed that people my age find it irritating, like I'm being a know it all. When I started the job I'm at now, a co-worker was complaining she got that awful virus on her computer. Now I haven't been a computer geek in YEARS, but since I had just paid the local computer guy $200 to remove this virus from my son's computer I did know the exact price (which was the original question). But I asked what brand and model of computer she had, since I owned that exact computer, I knew she could simply restore to factory settings, and how to do it.

Another co-worker looked at me and said "I guess you just know everything." I was stunned. I thought I was saving her the $200, how could that be a bad thing? Although I did throw in how and why I was so familiar with restoring.

*sigh* see, there I go again.

[perpetuallysad]

Oh my god, it is so nice to hear that other people do the same things! You guys have made me feel better. Its still tough though, I would (very occasionally) like to be able to talk to people face to face without them acting like I'm weird.

Thanks for all the support. And I don't mind anyone telling me their own experiences NuckingFuts (love the name, by the way). It helps me to realize I'm not alone as I usually feel.

[Pamela Choi]

Originally Posted by AAAAA

Oh I do this all the time, you're not alone! With things I find interesting I research and learn everything I can. I LOVE the discovery science and history channels. I'm interested in a wide variety of random things. When they come up in conversation, I just cannot shut up. I notice that teens and younger kids don't mind, I've taught my own kids that the internet is a wonderful thing and EVERYTHING you ever wanted to know is out there, you just have to look.

But I've also noticed that people my age find it irritating, like I'm being a know it all. When I started the job I'm at now, a co-worker was complaining she got that awful virus on her computer. Now I haven't been a computer geek in YEARS, but since I had just paid the local computer guy $200 to remove this virus from my son's computer I did know the exact price (which was the original question). But I asked what brand and model of computer she had, since I owned that exact computer, I knew she could simply restore to factory settings, and how to do it.

Another co-worker looked at me and said "I guess you just know everything." I was stunned. I thought I was saving her the $200, how could that be a bad thing? Although I did throw in how and why I was so familiar with restoring.

*sigh* see, there I go again.

thank u for the comment take care

[Pamela Choi]

Originally Posted by Pamela Choi

thank u for the comment take care

OMG, i posted my thread on yours, i am so sorry. This was meant to gon on my thread!!! Sorry for the confusion, i am so embarrsed!!

[Pamela Choi]

you all were probaby like this doesnt make sense and once agian. I amsorry, I am still getting use to use this website.

[BNLsMOM]

Originally Posted by perpetuallysad

One of my "things" I do when I am manic is gather immense amounts of information on whatever seemed to interest me at the moment. Its great for trivia games, but makes me weird as hell. Say, for instance, I decide to find out about Aztecs (as I recently decided), I will buy books, search academic articles, read everything I get my hands on until that fancy passes, then I pick something new. I've taught myself tons of things and have a vast store of knowledge, but I cannot small talk with another parent to save my life. Mostly I avoid being in any situation where I have to talk to people at all. My conversations consist of talking to my husband, sister (who think mental illness is BS and mostly does all of the talking) and my son and his friends. My husband and the kids are the kindest and usually listen to my explanations and are usually willing to even try out whatever new thing I've learned (if its a skill of some sort). I know 2 adults who don't think I'm an idiot and will have conversations with me, but unfortunately, both live far away, so most of our conversations are written letters (which is fine, but not instantly gratifying--which I am looking for a lot of the times).

The only time in my entire life that I felt mostly comfortable was when I was in college at a small liberal arts school and befriended a lot of the professors in my field. They usually listened and took part in my conversations in a way that no one else really ever has. I miss that so much. I tried working on my master's degree at a larger uni, but the classes were big (40-50 people compared to 10 or so at the small college) and the professors were extremely closed off to conversations with me (I think with the students in general). I ended up quitting after 2 semesters, even though I want nothing more than to get my phd.

Geeze louise, even here I just went into a big long rant about a bunch of stuff I am sure no one gives a crap about. Arggggggggggggggggg. Stuff like this makes me feel so alone.

Seriously, how did you get in my head? I am great at Trivial Pursuit because I do the same thing.

You aren't alone.

[perpetuallysad]

Too bad we couldn't play trivial pursuit on line. No one in real life will play with me. The only thing is that I suck at the sports questions...

[BNLsMOM]

Originally Posted by perpetuallysad

Too bad we couldn't play trivial pursuit on line. No one in real life will play with me. The only thing is that I suck at the sports questions...

Same here.

My son's school has a Trivia night and auction every year and ever since I started going our table has placed in the top three. Between my head full of useless knowledge, my husband's obsession with sports trivia, and a handful of smart friends we do very well.

I guess there is an advantage to manic "Googleing" and trips to the book store.

[Pamela Choi]

I know that has nothing to do with posted issues. do u like catch phase

[perpetuallysad]

Never played it.

[larakeziah]

Originally Posted by perpetuallysad

Ok, I am not sure where this goes (anxiety, bi-polar, general weirdness...)

Earlier my son was next door playing in the garage at his best friends house. They broke a glass and my son came home really upset and worried he would be in trouble. Of course, I didn't really care, as long as no one was bleeding and everyone was safe. Anyway, I grab my broom and dustpan to go clean up the glass (it was one of those really thick juice glasses).

I get over there and the mom comes out saying she could clean it...blah blah. I did it, no big deal. Then the boys show me a gecko they found and had befriended (not positive the gecko was happy, but the boys were ecstatic). So I go into this description of how geckos are really unique in the way they can climb vertically and on ceilings on the slickest surfaces, start explaining the biology of all this and on and on. I cannot stop myself. The mom is looking at me like I had turned into a gecko and walks off while I am talking to her; I finally, utterly humiliated, just turned around and went back home.

Obviously this experience was hard on me. I have an intense and uncontrollable fear/paranoia about talking to other people and its really hard for me to be just "hi" friendly with my neighbors for the sake of my son. The problem is that I always do stupid sh@# like that when I talk to people. I hate it, but I am absolutely powerless to stop myself. I will be screaming in my head "STOP, STOP THIS NOW!!!!!" I will just keep going until the person just walks off or something interrupts and grants me an exit.

Does this happen to anyone else? How do you control it?

OMG!!!! This happens to me often. I'm always researching things and studdying things that interest me. I sit for days writing notes and re writing them and chat on and on about the stuff i've been reading bout. My friends think i'm a freak and tend not to listen! Don't blame them really cos i do babble on and its usaually so fast they can't understand anyway. i just sort of run away with myself!!! ( not literally lol!) i have loads of useless info stored in my head, but i am usefull for a quiz at least!!!!!

take care