[JayneA]

Hi, I'd really appreciate anyone's opinions or knowledge on this.

I was diagnosed a few months back with borderline personality, clinical depression and anxiety. My counsellor referred me to a psychiatrist thinking I may be bipolar but I don't really rate my psychiatrist. She didn't even tell me my diagnosis. It was 2 months later when I went to get my prescription of fluoxetine from my GP that he mentioned the borderline personality disorder, and I had no idea what he was talking about.

I don't know much about either condition, and from what I've seen online many symptoms are the same for each condition. I'm really confused

Would hearing things be more likely to be bipolar than BPD? I can't see it listed as a symptom in BPD . . . but I'm not sure.
And impulsiveness is listed in both conditions, but if the impulsiveness is something dangerous or damaging would that be more likely to be bipolar?

I also get obsessive little projects when I'm 'up'. It can be about anything - World war II, Himmler, buying a drum kit, learning Pashtu and the latest one was boats/ships. I spent a fortune (and got into debt) buying any book/dvd/memorabilia I could find related to boats. I'd bought everything I could find and was gettting frustrated so 4am one morning I suddenly decided it would be a good idea to go by taxi 200+ miles to the coast to try and get on a boat. It was a great idea except no-one knew I'd gone and when I got there I couldn't get on a boat - and it cost a fortune.

Then there's the time I decided that I needed to find out where this guy lived who I met that day. I looked in the phone directory for any listings with his surname and 1st initial, then walked 16 miles round all the houses listed to find him or his car. I have no idea whaT I'd have done if I saw him but I just had to go. Turned out he was unlisted lol! He's my best friend now though, so I suppose it worked out ok.

Most of all I hate not knowing how I'm going to be from day to day. I'm either off on a bizarre trip to some obscure place either real or in my head, or I'm hiding away in my bedroom crying, not answering the door or phone for weeks on end, trying to hang myself.

I don't care what condition I have, I just want to get the right treatment. There's no respite from it at all.

Thanks to anyone who responds and has any ideas/opinions. There are other little things but I don't want to make my post into an essay. My next psychiatrist's appointment isn't until 18th December but I'm struggling and not sure I'll make it until then.

Jayne

[BNLsMOM]

You can always call your psychiatrist if you think you need to see her earlier. I would suggest asking point blank what the diagnosis is and why you are on certain medications.

Just to share a commom experience, I once met a guy in a class at college. All I had was his first name. I developed a crush on him so I opened the student directory and started calling every listing with that first name and asked if he was in the class. When I found him, I didn't know quite what to do, so I asked him to the movies. He said "no." he treated me like I was a freak for the rest of the four years at school. I kept running into him because he was good friends with a guy that I became friends with and shared an apartment with.
I am glad your experience turned into a positive. But the point is, I do the same things.
Honestly, if it weren't fot the fact that I don't want to be irresponsible to my kids, I would take off and do all sorts of impulsive adventures. (when I am not feeling paranoid and socially anxious) My kids have really mellowed me out.

[VickiesPath]

The behaviors you described sound like classic mania to me. And, the bad news is, if you take fluoxetine (brand name Prozac) with bipolar without what is called a mood stablilizer which controls the mania, the mania will be a lot worse.

I am very leery of that psychiatrist's diagnosis. Let me tell you a bit about me. I've been battling mental illness for my entire life, was "officially" diagnosed in 1985. That diagnosis was incorrect. It went on for 19 years until in 2004, I was correctly diagnosed with Bipolar II. I have studied these illnesses a lot. Don't EVER let anyone but a psychiatrist diagnose you or treat you or prescribe for you. GP's do not know enough to treat you successfully. Also, all psychiatrists are not created equal. You need a second opinion. I would bet my life that you are bipolar, judging from your behavior history which sounds like typical mania.

Try to find a reputable psychiatrist that you can see ASAP. This needs attention.

Best of luck to you.

[lonegael]

I would agree with the above, but I would want to be carefull about diagnosing you. what I would want to sugest is that you get a second opinion to both the T and the p doc if you can, without telling any other docotr you go to for the 2nd opinion about their suspicions. You don't want to prejudice the third doctor. You need the right treatment, what ever you have, and the meds for bipolar are heavy duty stuff. If you don't really need to be on them, then you shouldn't be. If you do, then you should absolutely take them. Same with the therapy program for Borderline; you need to get all the help you can get without other stuff getting in the way.
It is possible to be bipolar and have borderlinr traits, or even have BPD. You want to be as sure as you can what is going on. Good luck and hang in there. Huggs!

[Michah]

Hi JayneA,

Warm welcome to you!

I cannot say what your true dx is, but just wanted to add my 2 centsI hope I do not confuse you more

I was dx with Borderline PD, schizoeffective and traits of PTSD 16 years ago. Despite the fact that I fit the criteria to a T, extensive testing and observation was done due to multiple presentations. No one dx fit EVERYTHING.

My moods were so extreme that I was treated with Lithium intitially which is typically a mood stabiliser used to treat Bipolar. I was also put on Thorazine for rage and hallucinations. I was also hospitalised for psychosis a few times.

Yes, borderline can mimic many things.......that is why long term observation is imperative to gain a true picture of wht is happening.......and I agree with the general consensus that your pdoc needs to provide some answers about the direction of your treatment and medication. Like Vicki said, Prozac is a good one for depression, but can make mania worse, f Bipolar is what you are dealing with.

This might sounds terribly contrite right now, but to relieve some anxiety, please try and keep an open mind about dx intitially. And push that pdoc. You are the manager of your own treatment, babe. Make them work for their money!!! Just keep hassling till you get an answer.....

Take good care of your precious self......know that you are supported here and keep talking. Many people here have a lot of life experience and broad shoulders

In stillness,

Michah

Hi JayneA and welcome! This seems to come up a lot because as you point out, they do seem to share a bunch of symptoms. For some reason they seem fairly different to me, but I also have a bit of a hard time verbalizing it. There is a thread on the BPD forum that I found quite interesting. It is http://forums.psychcentral.com/showp...89&postcount=1 . So many of the folks having BPD related in a big way to this description. I don't so much (will explain in a minute). Three of the things that stand out for me (and it may well be different for others, obviously) are the emptiness, inability to tolerate being alone and tending to idealize other people then abruptly despise them. These seem to be very common in BPD, and I don't relate to them at all.

Yes, in both there are mood swings. But I find my thinking/actions/reactions to be usually quite in line with whatever state I find myself, whether hypomanic, depressed or mixed. Also, although I do have a fair bit of time where things tend to cycle pretty rapidly (say a shift in a period of a few days, less often in a day -- um, like yesterday as it happens!) there are also times where I go for considerable lengths of time quite solidly in one state, whether it be hypomanic (most recent long spell was this summer when I was hypomanic for a month and a half) or depressed. All that is to say that one of the big differences (at least as I understand it) is time frames. There are time criteria for mania (at least 7 days) and for hypomania (4 days or more). So it seems more that there are times when one's brain chemistry (often in combination with other things, but let's not cloud the issue) tends to take over. With borderline it seems to be more one's way of dealing with the world on a pretty regular basis. Does that make sense?

I think some of the confusion is that we share a lot of the same frustrations, but that they arise from different things.

Impulsiveness can be a dangerous thing for either. I think you're right on the voices, I haven't heard of that with BPD.

All that said, wow, can I relate to your post. The obsessions when I'm up? Sheesh, I could write a book.

You have a really good attitude though in realizing that it's not so much the diagnosis name as it is a treatment works for you! (Though, as many of us can attest, correct diagnosis can be pretty darn important in selecting from the proper meds to treat! Just ask any bipolar that was treated solely with antidepressants because they were misdiagnosed as MDD. I can speak to this personally, as can many others.) (I know nothing of meds in relation to BPD,--or if they're even used--so couldn't possibly comment on that.)

I'm glad you're dealing with a P-doc and not a GP. That is very important. But it's also important that if you don't feel good about your P-doc, you should check into others, keeping in mind lonegael's excellent advice, not to tell them what the other diagnosed. Let them approach it with an open mind.

Best of luck to you and keep us posted!

[crystalrose]

it does sound like bipolar 1 to me. I recently diagnosed with bipolar 2.