[caring_whiterose]

I am just soooo down right now. I don't know what to do with myself. I am tired of being crazy. I am tired of forgetting everything. I wake up in the morning and I get phone calls saying hey I am returning you phone call. I don't remeber even calling them. I can't remeber anything. I will probably forget writting this until someone writes back and I get a notice of it. Ugh and all the time I get down at night. It just sucks already. I am tired of feeling crazy! Thank you for listening.

[BNLsMOM]

I'm with you.

[perpetuallysad]

Amen! When will the crazy train stop for me? If I find a way to hop off, I'll make sure to let you know.

[caring_whiterose]

I am sorry you guys feel that way too. i wsh there was something I can do for all of us.

[Trying & Caring]

Do you think your meds are doing this memory-loss thing? At one time I went through 5 mos. of hypo mania & then crashed horribly into depression (& did some rash things) so meds provider put me on a lot of sedating meds to try to get me to sleep--didn't help much. I would go to sleep right away, but couldn't stay asleep for more than 3 hrs. I did find if I talked to my kids on the phone after taking my night meds I would have a perfectly reasonable conversation w/them, but didn't remember it at all the next day (also did the "sleep walking eating"). Needless to say it scared my kids (grown) & me so that I wouldn't talk on the phone after taking my night-time meds. Luckily, I've gone through some EMDR therapy treatment so have been able to get off the sedating meds for the most part--but it is scary to know you did stuff & can't remember it at all.

[caring_whiterose]

I know it has do do somewhat with the ativan I am on but it helps. I am on pain meds now for my back which probably doesnt make it any better. My meds work for me well though. Any med you are on will never help fully but my does help a lot.

I just cant believe I got more down than before. Everytime I try to open up I get shut down by something. I never get it all out and I feel like why try to explain if I get shut down. I dont know........ I am a mess right now. I am just sitting hear and tears are in my eyes but it isnt taking effort if that makes sense. it is like a am relaxing with tears rolling down my face. what is wrong with me....

Originally Posted by Trying & Caring

Do you think your meds are doing this memory-loss thing? At one time I went through 5 mos. of hypo mania & then crashed horribly into depression (& did some rash things) so meds provider put me on a lot of sedating meds to try to get me to sleep--didn't help much. I would go to sleep right away, but couldn't stay asleep for more than 3 hrs. I did find if I talked to my kids on the phone after taking my night meds I would have a perfectly reasonable conversation w/them, but didn't remember it at all the next day (also did the "sleep walking eating"). Needless to say it scared my kids (grown) & me so that I wouldn't talk on the phone after taking my night-time meds. Luckily, I've gone through some EMDR therapy treatment so have been able to get off the sedating meds for the most part--but it is scary to know you did stuff & can't remember it at all.

[gravyyy]

I hear you pooty! Loud and clear. The memory loss/foginess is awful. Hang in there... things change all the time and moods change all the time... perhaps this memory issue is due to your current mood or maybe it's from the side effects from a med (Lithium is causing me to have memory problems) like Trying suggests. If you haven't already, I would definitely talk to your T or pdoc about this. It's really an annoying problem to have. Good luck to you, but know you're not alone in this!!

[caring_whiterose]

thank you. i actually wouldnt want to change meds because these are good for me and i have tried such a hand full. i also just saw my t saturday and on of the meds are upped a little. that is a good thing.

i have notcied that i try to act happy alll the time and fake. i just feel like i annoy people with my problems. even now i am being vauge. i dont know why i do it. i guess i think most people dont want to here it anyways. i wish i didnt feel like people are annoyed with me but if i was myself everyday no one would to talk to me becuase i am always sad. i guess i have a talent of faking happiness.

Originally Posted by gravyyy

I hear you pooty! Loud and clear. The memory loss/foginess is awful. Hang in there... things change all the time and moods change all the time... perhaps this memory issue is due to your current mood or maybe it's from the side effects from a med (Lithium is causing me to have memory problems) like Trying suggests. If you haven't already, I would definitely talk to your T or pdoc about this. It's really an annoying problem to have. Good luck to you, but know you're not alone in this!!

[owllover99]

We want to hear it, happy or sad pootypoo. And we understand how it is. I am glad you are better, even though you're still down. You may need to see your doc about that. Noone needs to feel worthless. And it's coming from within. The right meds should help so you wouldn't have to fake happiness.
And you don't annoy us. Vent. That's what we are here for.

[caring_whiterose]

I do have a T I talk too. It is weird though I already know what they are going to say. Same with every doc I have been too. I know what is wrong with me and I know I am the only on who can really fix it. That is a very alone feeling right there. I was hoping when I woke up I would feel better but now I feel a little worse.

Originally Posted by owllover99

We want to hear it, happy or sad pootypoo. And we understand how it is. I am glad you are better, even though you're still down. You may need to see your doc about that. Noone needs to feel worthless. And it's coming from within. The right meds should help so you wouldn't have to fake happiness.
And you don't annoy us. Vent. That's what we are here for.

[leah0306]

so sorry to read your post, but remember that this will pass, ive been there it is hard as hell..... but you WILL pull thru this, just stay strong okay?? take care

[star416]

Totally understand where you're coming from. I am in the same boat and need the same answers. And it does suck cause nobody understands.

[caring_whiterose]

Thank you. I will try. I got a lot out yesterday in chat here. I am still in a somewhat bad mood becuase there are to many things to count.

Originally Posted by leah0306

so sorry to read your post, but remember that this will pass, ive been there it is hard as hell..... but you WILL pull thru this, just stay strong okay?? take care