[aprilc3817]

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and panic disorder a little over 3 years ago and have finally gotten the guts to start posting on these message boards. I have been on meds the whole time and stable for a little over 2 years with Abilify and Lexapro.

During this time I have been trying to write my Master's thesis. My question to anyone who wants to answer is...Do any of you find writing to be a huge chore. I just have a really hard time getting my thoughts from my brain to the computer screen and its not like they are racing or anything. It's like my mind is doesn't think correctly anymore.

My psych nurse suggested that it came easier before my diagnosis because I may have been manic and didn't know it. However, I've only had 1 episode (when I was diagnosed) and I know that I was not manic or hypo-manic during grad school. If anything I suffered from depression throughout college.

Any thoughts?

[Yoda]

I would say it depends alot on the person. I have always felt that writing came easier than expressing myself verbally. I enjoy technical writing and have been told that I am good at it. But I have difficult interacting socially with people.

My son though is quite different from me despite both of us having ADHD and bipolar. He has a written language disability that I do not have and he finds writing difficult. But he interacts with people better than I did when I was his age.

So many variables it is difficult to say. I did notice recently that when the winter weather was bad and I was unable to refill my meds I posted longer posts than I do normally. I think I was probably manic then. It was kind of hard to find the point of my posts at that time because they were buried in so much extraneous information.

[perpetuallysad]

I know that I personally was a zombie on lexapro and abilify. To me they made my brain sort of slow, which is really unusual for me. I know a huge problem I had (and still have, though now on different meds) is that I could think of words or phrases and couldn't physically get them out of my brain. Its a very frustrating thing to go through. It made coherent thought nearly impossible and simple things that I used to love doing, like logic puzzles, were absolutely impossible for me to complete. It was like somewhere between reading and figuring my brain just shorted out and nothing would make sense. I would try to talk (or write) and in the middle of a thought I would get lost and unable to remember where I was going, even if I reread what I wrote or was reminded of what I was talking about, the thoughts were just GONE. Before you took meds were you having a hard time writing?

I know that I personally have great difficulty doing any creative writing now that I am on meds, though before I was on them I was a prolific writer.

[BNLsMOM]

No matter what my state of mind or meds, I am a better writer than speaker. Something gets lost when I try to express myself verbally, unless I write it down and am able to read it from the page. Other times, I can be verbose. (But who knows if I make sense)

Welcome to the board.

[aprilc3817]

Thanks for all of your responses.

PerpetuallySad, I was not having trouble writing before the medication. I think I may ask the doctor if I can take the Lexapro as needed because my anxiety/panic has gotten a lot better in the last few years and I forgot to take it yesterday and I wrote a ton on my thesis.

BNLsMom, I am usually a better writer than speaker as my panic attacks tend to increase when I have to speak in public or even when I have to speak to someone new. Thanks for welcoming me.