Haven't posted in a while, here's what's going on with me

Giabrina · Feb 18, 2010 at 10:47 PM

Hi everyone. I haven't posted in a while, but I have been reading most posts. I spent all day today asleep from about 8:30 am to 4 pm. And that was after sleeping 9 hours that night! Strange thing is, I slept in my car so my husband wouldn't see me asleep all day in bed. Then I had to lie about where I was all day. I know there is no answer to my sleeping problem, I'm just venting.

Here is what I think set it off: I just started a part time job the beginning of February. To disguise my identity -- I'll use a career similar to mine. Okay, about 15 years ago, I was the Head Women's Ice Hockey coach for the USA Olympic team (again, i'm disguising my identity, it wasn't really Ice Hockey). I was very successful coaching but because of the bipolar issues, I had trouble with organization, adminstrative work, some interpersonal communication issues and then when mania kicked in -- some odd behavior. I was asked to resign, which I did -- I'm glad they didn't fire me.

Fast forward 15 years of not coaching at that level and being asked to coach a high school team. Not even as the head coach but as an assistant. I went from the Head of the Olympic team to a high school assistant. None the less, I took the job hoping it would break my depression and get me out of bed. Long story short, the head coach does not let me do ANYTHING! I just stand there looking stupid. She gives the other assistant coaches drills to run, but I just get to stand there. The other day, I walked out on practice because I had nothing to do. I have so much talent, enthusiasm and excitement about this sport! And then I get to practice and it's like my balloon gets popped and all the air comes out. The head coach is way younger than me and does not have that much experience. My husband thinks she is intimidated by me and does not want me to look better than her so that is why she limits my ability to speak, teach or coach. Honestly, I could do a much better job than her, but that is not what I want right now. I just want to feel appreciated, important and somehow connected to the team. Right now, I'm not. I slept thru today's practice. I think it must be avoidance. I don't know what to say or do. When I do communicate how I feel in email, she never answers or responds. One player emailed me about how much she loved it when I was able to run drills and get the players pumped up. She told me what a great addition I was to the program when I'm allowed to be involved. I am a good teacher of the game. Coaching is the only thing I have been successful at and it just kills me to be sitting on the sidelines doing nothing. Why did she hire me? Why does she ask for my opinion and then never use it? Do I quit or stick with it knowing that I'm probably just a "token" hired because of my previous success and just to bring a little notoriety to the program?

Any advice, thoughts or just hugs would be appreciated! Thanks everyone.

BashfullOne · Feb 18, 2010 at 10:58 PM

I think one, that your depressed, thus the sleeping a lot. Second, I agree with your husband - she is intimadated by you big time. Maybe you could find a third person to sit in with you as you talk to this woman and find out why she's doing what she's doint to you? I'm always one for "if you have a problem with me, let's air it right now and get it in the open"! I can't stand feeling like I'm being punished for some reason that I'm totally unaware of.
Myself, I would confront her about it...

Anneinside · Feb 19, 2010 at 04:24 PM

Email sometimes comes out saying something you didn't intend as the reader can't see body language or your tone of voice. You really need to talk calmly with the head coach and explain that you want to participate more. Tell him what you like to do as an assistant coach. Be upfront but not confrontational.

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Haven't posted in a while, here's what's going on with me

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Anneinside Poohbah Member Since Nov 2007 Location: Minnesota Posts: 1,276 16 3 hugs given	Feb 19, 2010 at 04:24 PM #3 Email sometimes comes out saying something you didn't intend as the reader can't see body language or your tone of voice. You really need to talk calmly with the head coach and explain that you want to participate more. Tell him what you like to do as an assistant coach. Be upfront but not confrontational.
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