Spolied Milk.............

I'm manic today, not a good manic either (is there a good manic, I at least know there are manics that feel better than this one) it's like a "spoiled milk" manic, I"m buzzing, I litterally feel like I'm just vibreating I have so much chaos in my bones right now, so much unspent restless energy, I keep telling myself "make it through these classes, then you can go home and jog a mile at the park" that is the only thing I can focus on, the goal for a day, just survive so I can go run, jump, jog, swim, hell float I don't care, just physically exert myself on that mile track, to just shed this energy.... I can't sit still, I can't focus, I"m constantly tapping my leg, I'm making sure to consume NO caffinee toady, it will only make things worse, I made my daily pot of coffee then started at the coffee pot for a good ten minutes in debate on if I should or shouldn't have any, it all ended up being poured out into the sink...

I'm hungry, but I'm finding it hard to eat, I can't hadle the textures, the feel, it makes me gag, heck I don't know if this is the right place to post, I have so much ick coming up from a upcoming trigger (Easter) and memories have been popping up left and right, I wonder if it spurred my mania...

just ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Typo you describe it all so well. I know I really don't have any happy manic times. Mostly miserable manic times. When I was in my 20s mania was a blast, but now...ug.

I totally know what you mean about the textures of food. You are the only person I've ever heard (you know what I mean) say the same thing. I get totally freaked out about food textures, I torture my husband and son with the things that I randomly cannot eat, but really cannot explain why it creeps me out so much!

I think the jog is a great thing to focus on. You can do it. You can make it through this day.

Typo...best of luck making it through your classes and getting to go for a run! I am really proud of you for saying no to the caffeine and for going to your classes even though you're having a hard time with it...take care!!

typo - that was so well put - about the food. I get hungry, but the food turns to...just ick - before I can get it in my mouth.

Enjoy your run - hope you feel better!

Kudos... That was a great call on the caffiene... I dont know if I could put down my can of Mt. Dew that easily. And I am VERY happy to see others with the food issues.
Last night I made sandwiches for me and my wife... made a sandwich half way to my mouth to take the first bite... and I could just feel my stomach drop out.

Just keep stayng focused on that run.!

Try hard to eat something, though-- even if it's not the best food. Can you drink juice? You need calories to help stabilize your system a little bit, and so you don't exhaust yourself while you burn all that energy.

Well, I know manias like these... when one feels you're going to burst... I too sometimes feel that I am like unisolated electric cord and if I am sure I would sparkle if I touched something metal.

And good thing being aware of the coffeine intake.

You know what my BPD father does when he's manic??? He goes shopping...and once the mania is gone, his credit card is maxed and he has a bunch of useless junk. No, I'm kidding, don't go shopping! Come here and post so we know you are okay!!

Oh, Typo... That feeling is sooo familiar. You put it so well in saying "vibrating" -- that's _exactly_ what it's like! Had a spell of it in January -- felt sooo compelled to go out and about and talk some ears off -- and at the same time feeling self-conscious of literally bouncing and coming off totally wired and, um, weird... and of feeling that they could "see" the vibration -- which of course they couldn't -- only the outer manifestations.

You have a MUCH better idea with the running and congrats for having the insight and wisdom to avoid the caffeine!

The food thing is not as familiar per se, though the ultra-heightened sensory thing is. Mine tends to play out in sound and touch. Like... my clothes are too loud (not style-wise, but actual sound). It took awhile to make the connection, but these are times I need to be extra aware of explosions. It doesn't prevent them necessarily, but I try to avoid those things that are likely to set them off. If this is familiar at all, I wish you the best in deflecting (is that the right word?).

In addition to the running idea, I often find it useful to turn on some energetic music and dance like crazy. Some find this counter-productive and prefer soothing music. Play it by ear (oooh, bad pun!) -- you know yourself best. Good luck and keep us posted, ok?

I am an ultra radiant cylcler which means my mood shifts any where from 2 to 7 times a day and they can't find the right medication for me any suggestions?

Thank you all so much for the kind responses ((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))

I just got home from classes and my walk, my feet are a bit sore, I went straight from campus to the trail, I just couldnt' wait, and I knew if I went home to change into better walkign clothes I would never get myself back out of the house, so I just went for it, I barely had the car parked and off by the time I hopped out the door and took off.

I feel a bit better, and I ate a little bit, i take my lunch with me to campus and made myself eat at least half my sandwhich, the weirdness with food is weaning a bit, I am nibbling on an orange right now.

I just feel so all over the place, one minute I'm okay, the next I feel like I'm going to explode, and underneath it all is a sort of sadness, I wanted to just start crying on my walk, and I did for a bit, I'm sure I looked like a mess, like a sore thumb, a bad out of place scenairo on that walking trail, my make up all smudgy, in my nicer clothes and just crying and walking as hard and fast as I could, trying to concetrate of just the sound of my feet hitting the gravel and keeping a rythym.

, I hate when I get like this, I thought I was getting back on track, yesterday after a week spend being low I felt good normal, in line, not that I'm out of control right now, I keep a tight reign on myself because I know I could very easily loose control and make bad self destructive decisons

I said it earlier today I feel like a snake shedding it's skin and halfway through I got stuck, I'm half way in the clear, and half way stuck in the past and in my demons,

I wonder if all the work I'm doing in therapy, and all the rebuilding I"m doing in my life has triggered my mood swings and this "spoiled milk" mania, like my mind doesn't know how to handle the changes so it's going in loops and making me buzz like chaos...with my demons snapping at my heels

As Sir Winston Churchill said: "When you find yourself walking through hell, keep going.."

I'm not going to give you any advice about the ultra rapid cycling but I would suggest that you go to the main bipolar page and create a new thread with this question. Other people will be more likely to answer you if you start the new post, maybe with a title that fits, like ultra rapid cycling help.