[cocos421]

Me and some other family members are concerned about my sister. We think she may be bipolar and manic. She's been cheating on her husband for the past 6 months and asked for a divorce. She thinks she has it all figured out. Instead of expanding her painting business, she wants to get her CDL and drive a dump truck! It's the business her boyfriend's in.
She has been lying to everybody (except me, I think) about everything. She got a nose job 5 months ago. That's not something she had the money to throw away on. She put it on a credit card, I think.
I told her I think she may be manic and she said she is depressed also.
Is it possible she can be manic if she's running around on her husband?
This is so out of character for her. We are all in shock. She's been married 13 years.
I'm bipolar, so it is possible she can be, too. She's been taking Zoloft for many years. I think she's still taking it. She mentioned she wanted to stop it, so she can get her true feelings back. Zoloft makes her numb. She can't cry while on it.
I can't give anymore examples of mania other than risky behavior and increased sex drive, very increased! Do you think it is possible?
What should we do?
Is she really in love or is she mentally ill?

[IndigoRose]

It's certainly a possibility, but you shouldn't attempt to diagnose her yourself. She needs to be seen by someone that she is going to be completely honest with, and it is always possible that her medication has failed to work, or that she stopped taking it and didn't tell you. Some people, whether they suffer from a form of depression or not, can do a total 360 on you and start living their lives differently. Incourage her to see a doctor as soon as possible and remember that you are in no way responsible for her behavior.

[Anneinside]

Since you are bipolar, you really should know the symptoms of mania. To learn, click on Conditions and Disorders at the top of the screen to find the symptoms of bipolar. Again, you can't diagnose your sister and she has to want to see a doctor about it. The increased sexually and excessive spending are just one of the symptoms of mania. Alone, they certainly don't mean she has bipolar.

[missmoonshine]

You really need to get your sister to see a Doc, it may be difficult though if she sees there is no problem. However, shes lucky shes got you there to support her and at the end of the day thats all you can do

[cocos421]

Thanks, I'm trying to get her to see a doc. I emaied her some info that I found last night that said infidelity is a sign of mania.
She thinks this man is her soul mate and that they think so much alike. He could be me, she says, being that I'm her sister and we get along so well.
They are "so connected".

[grizmom]

I really don't want to offend anyone, I did put up the trigger icon just in case, but here is my 2 cents:

It is possible that your sister is having a manic episode, but honestly, every time I change something in my life my family thinks I'm having an "episode" and it's just not true. When I left my husband, I was not manic. I was actually pretty stable at the time and finally thinking more clearly and realized I had mostly been staying with him because I had been depressed for so long, and I just didn't have the energy or motivation to leave. When I finally became more stable for awhile, I could see that there were a lot of problems that I had been ignoring, and it was best for me to leave. I cut my hair short and dyed it black and changed to a more "punk" style. I switched to a new therapist. I started going out more and having some fun. None of it was because I was manic; I was finally feeling good (not depressed and not hypomanic) and was ready for some changes. My family was shocked, because I had never told any of them about the problems I had with my husband because I was too embarrased.

I know you are just concerned and want what's best for your sister, but if she has never even been diagnosed with bipolar (and if she is on Zoloft I imagine she has already been seeing a doctor about her problems with depression) then it's possible that she is just making changes in her life that she feels are necessary. Of course it's not right that she's been cheating on her husband, but plenty of people without bipolar cheat on their spouses. People without bipolar (i.e. my sister) change jobs when they find something new they would like to do. And the rate of divorce is quite high either way. As for the nose job, you said you weren't sure how she paid for it...is it possible her boyfriend helped pay for it? Or she may have been putting money aside for it for awhile?

I AM sorry if I have offended anyone, this really touched a nerve with me because of my own experiences.

[IndigoRose]

Originally Posted by grizmom

I really don't want to offend anyone, I did put up the trigger icon just in case, but here is my 2 cents:

It is possible that your sister is having a manic episode, but honestly, every time I change something in my life my family thinks I'm having an "episode" and it's just not true. When I left my husband, I was not manic. I was actually pretty stable at the time and finally thinking more clearly and realized I had mostly been staying with him because I had been depressed for so long, and I just didn't have the energy or motivation to leave. When I finally became more stable for awhile, I could see that there were a lot of problems that I had been ignoring, and it was best for me to leave. I cut my hair short and dyed it black and changed to a more "punk" style. I switched to a new therapist. I started going out more and having some fun. None of it was because I was manic; I was finally feeling good (not depressed and not hypomanic) and was ready for some changes. My family was shocked, because I had never told any of them about the problems I had with my husband because I was too embarrased.

I know you are just concerned and want what's best for your sister, but if she has never even been diagnosed with bipolar (and if she is on Zoloft I imagine she has already been seeing a doctor about her problems with depression) then it's possible that she is just making changes in her life that she feels are necessary. Of course it's not right that she's been cheating on her husband, but plenty of people without bipolar cheat on their spouses. People without bipolar (i.e. my sister) change jobs when they find something new they would like to do. And the rate of divorce is quite high either way. As for the nose job, you said you weren't sure how she paid for it...is it possible her boyfriend helped pay for it? Or she may have been putting money aside for it for awhile?

I AM sorry if I have offended anyone, this really touched a nerve with me because of my own experiences.

You certainly didn't offend me. Like you, I think it's a strong possibility that she might just be cleaning house and making changes in her life. People are way too quick to say that someone is bipolar or manic because they don't understand or agree with someone's life changes. I don't condone cheating on anyone, period, but I agree with you that plenty of people cheat on their spouses. It takes just as much strength to walk away as it does to stay, depending on the situation. Not everyone knows how to bring things like this up to a partner, and often times they hope that their behavior will say what they themselves cannot.