[scarlett001]

Hi,

I recently broke up with my ex of 3.5 years 6 weeks before our wedding. I just couldn't take all the ups and downs of our relationship and his turning to alcohol whenever he was stressed out. He is a wonderful man (when he is in his "high" moods) but I could never know what to expect from him and this had obviously gotten worst towards the end of our relationship. Since our breakup many people have told me his suffering of bipolar disorder- I have researched the disease extensively and it fits my ex to a T. I have brought this to his attention and he has agreed, but there is always an excuse to why he doesn't get help. He has proceeded to try to shut me out of his life and I feel so badly for him and his moods (he spent the last weekend in bed for 3 days without even showering and just getting up to eat). Sometime he will call and want to go to dinner and it always ends up in an argument which he causes. I don't know what to do- I am so scared for him and I want to help him. On the other hand, I am so hurt by his wanting to completely shut me out. Does anyone have a suggestion? Thanks so much for any help!

[LadyValkyrie]

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scarlett001 said:
Hi,

I recently broke up with my ex of 3.5 years 6 weeks before our wedding. I just couldn't take all the ups and downs of our relationship and his turning to alcohol whenever he was stressed out. He is a wonderful man (when he is in his "high" moods) but I could never know what to expect from him and this had obviously gotten worst towards the end of our relationship. Since our breakup many people have told me his suffering of bipolar disorder- I have researched the disease extensively and it fits my ex to a T. I have brought this to his attention and he has agreed, but there is always an excuse to why he doesn't get help. He has proceeded to try to shut me out of his life and I feel so badly for him and his moods (he spent the last weekend in bed for 3 days without even showering and just getting up to eat). Sometime he will call and want to go to dinner and it always ends up in an argument which he causes. I don't know what to do- I am so scared for him and I want to help him. On the other hand, I am so hurt by his wanting to completely shut me out. Does anyone have a suggestion? Thanks so much for any help!

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There is nothing you can do for him. First of all when you pressure someone to get help for mental illness it is bound to fail because they are not the ones who are choosing for themselves that they need and want the professional help. It takes a special, patient, longsuffering, and compassionate person to have a spouse who has Bipolar. If you do not feel that you can handle such a situation then you did the right thing by not marrying him. I have Bipolar Type II Disorder and my 14 year old son has ADHD and Bipolar. I am not telling you anything that I haven't already told my own spouse and son.