[bridgie]

Oh quite the day I went from up to down and off the wall to down to up and now I'm just ok. My mind was certainly not thinking straight. I wasn't in reality today. Or so I was but it was my own reality or what I want it to be. I almost ruined one of the best things that has happened to me bcz my mood dropped and I was completely self defeating. Fortunately for me "J" is such a wonderfull man. It still saddens me to know he wants to be with me. Why that makes me sad I don't know. But all relationships trigger my bp. It was such a rough day. I even feel so bad I flew off the handle in another forum on here. I don't care for days like this. These are the days I wish I wasn't here. Or anywhere. I can't tell anyone this as they worry. I don't know. Just don't know