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#1
Sep 06, 2010, 06:33 AM
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Just found out HOW my brother actually died (exactly a year ago today) not sure if I'm allowed to post the details, I'll probably just get censored again...
Let's just say it was gruesome, nobody deserves to endure such suffering. I'm quite, how do you say? thrown off balance? THAT"S AN UNDERSTATEMENT, but my meds are holding me together tho, I dunno, cried my eyes out, who wouldn't, but IDK IDK IDK! Can't tell my family what I read, (he died in a different country), don't know how to process this info... I'm sad and angry, and I need a hug... Sorry about this.
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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#2
Sep 06, 2010, 08:54 AM
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I'm truly sorry Trippin2.0; sending you a cyber hug.
__________________
Favorite book on bipolar "Living with Someone who is Living with Bipolar Disorder" by Chelsea Lowe, 2010 Check out my blog The Bipolar Roller Coaster: http://blueoctober.psychcentral.net/ New Post March 23 "New Therapist" |
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#3
Sep 06, 2010, 11:10 AM
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((((((((((Trippin2.0))))))))))
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#4
Sep 06, 2010, 11:17 AM
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You certainly have a hug from me.....
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#5
Sep 06, 2010, 11:18 AM
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You certainly have a hug from me. So sorry about your brother.
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#6
Sep 06, 2010, 11:23 AM
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A hug. A soft shoulder to cry on.
__________________
M Juniper "Don't ask the mountain to move, just take a pebble each time you visit", John Paul Lederach |
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#7
Sep 06, 2010, 11:31 AM
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I am sorry you had to hear such things of how your brother died. I hope you have lots of support around you
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#8
Sep 06, 2010, 12:10 PM
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(((Trippin))) I'm sorry your brother died in such a horrible way. Sorry your having to deal with this knowledge. 
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss |
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#9
Sep 06, 2010, 12:10 PM
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Oh Trippin'! Lots of hugs always available!
I'm so sorry... |
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#10
Sep 06, 2010, 12:11 PM
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(((((Trippin2.0)))))
__________________
Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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#11
Sep 06, 2010, 12:31 PM
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I'm so sorry. I hope you can find the support you need. Can you process this with a t-doc?
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#12
Sep 06, 2010, 01:12 PM
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Big hugs.
I don't know how your bro died, but I sympathize. Mine died in 2003 of leukemia. He was 26. It sounds like yours died in an unnatural way, so it probably hurts even more. I never got to say goodbye to my bro. He was in another state. I didn't believe he would really die so I didn't travel over there. He was gone 1 month after the diagnosis. So sorry you are hurting. We're here for you.
__________________
Human decency is not derived from religion. It precedes it. -Christopher Hitchens |
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#13
Sep 06, 2010, 01:58 PM
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Big hugs for you ((((((((Trippin))))))))
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#14
Sep 06, 2010, 02:18 PM
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Thanks everyone. The murder trial started today,on the other side of the continent,literally. I couldn't share the details of his death with my family b/c we all agreed that ignorance is bliss, I found out by accident in an online news article. I was just looking for details on the trial as our media's not covering it... I wish I could forget those words and the images my mind conjured. A question mark was less painful. Want to get through this without my doc,he was so impressed with my progress we decided on a bigger gap between my next appt. Thanks again all you're the greatist! I'm sure I'll be fine,except I now have to fight this STRONG urge to reread it, b/c maybe I read wrong... I know better tho,hopefully I'll listen to sense. Thanks again for all the support, I REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE IT! XOXO
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 thinker22
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#15
Sep 06, 2010, 02:19 PM
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For you.
__________________
"Unipolar is boring! Go Bipolar!"  Amazonmom is not putting up with bad behavior any more. |
| Trippin2.0
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#16
Sep 06, 2010, 03:27 PM
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__________________
"Better not look down, if you want to keep on flying Put the hammer down, keep it full speed ahead Better not look back, or you might just wind up crying You can keep it moving, if you don't look down" - B.B. King Come join the BP Social Society on Psych Central Everyone is Welcome! |
| Trippin2.0
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#17
Sep 06, 2010, 08:16 PM
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__________________
I can do all things through him who gives me strength
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| Trippin2.0
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#18
Sep 07, 2010, 01:12 AM
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__________________
Blessings..Sue  Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. |
| Trippin2.0
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#19
Sep 07, 2010, 01:25 AM
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A Big Hug From Me!
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| Trippin2.0
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#20
Sep 07, 2010, 01:49 AM
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(((((((Trippin 2.0))))))) You defenitely have a hug from me?
We're all here for you hun. 
Last edited by nightdreamer7982; Sep 07, 2010 at 01:54 AM. Reason: Not done putting in stuff |
| Trippin2.0
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#21
Sep 07, 2010, 04:57 AM
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Sorry to hear about your brother , trippin.
Big Hugs to you {{{{{ Trippin }}}}} .
__________________
Regards, Clive |
| Trippin2.0
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#22
Sep 07, 2010, 08:11 AM
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And a big hug from Owl to you Trippin. It is indeed hard to lose a family member.
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#23
Sep 07, 2010, 09:22 AM
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This is my first time to use this type of support group instead of in person but I send you a big hug. I lost my brother to aids several years ago and it was in the month of august, and this month was when my mother died. So, it seems it stays in your emotional psychic field somehow and then you get to honor it when it comes around again. I will need to do some kind of ritual as I used to as I think that is a healthy way to process the pain of it. The pain also reminds me that I am still alive and I am serving some purpose. You are alive my dear and you are serving a purpose I am glad you are surviving through this pain.
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#24
Sep 07, 2010, 09:55 AM
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Ditto on all the hugs and I wish I could give you a kazillion
__________________
"Better not look down, if you want to keep on flying Put the hammer down, keep it full speed ahead Better not look back, or you might just wind up crying You can keep it moving, if you don't look down" - B.B. King Come join the BP Social Society on Psych Central Everyone is Welcome! |
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#25
Sep 08, 2010, 07:32 AM
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Please do not reread the article, there is no solace there for you. Please try and let go of the memory of the way he passed on and replace it with happy snapshots from your memory, perhaps a time from your childhood when you might have been playing together in the sun. Let the memories of him that live on in you be one's of joy, one's that I know he would want you to treasure. A smile, a giggle, a treasured toy. Ask yourself what he would want you to carry forth of him. The grief process unfortunately isn't like five tasks that we can just check off our list but it is a series of processes that you will pass through as you pass through the years. Its been 22 years since our Chris was suddenly taken from us in a car versus 18 wheeler head on collision. I know the details of what happened to his body but they have faded from being a horrific nightmare to unfortunate knowlege the memory of which I chase away. I rather remember him as he was, new recruit to the state policy academy, just out of the university, engaged to annie, playing horseshoes with him, splashing about in the pool, searching through fields to make sassafrass tea, the way he loved to laugh and make jokes, the way he loved to smash pumpkins.... Chris lives...in me and in many other. May God's blessings be with you now and always.
(((((((((((ptk))))))))))))) |
| PT52, Trippin2.0
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