I'm coming back down

It started last week when I started to get uptight, I think it had something to do with work and dealing with the fact I wasn't getting paid on time. I got that delt with and I wasn't aware that I had hung onto the feelings and the rest of the weekend ended up a disaster. I was tense, short, and intollerant. I caused all kinds of upsets, arguments that were unnecessary. Instead of being able to just come out and talk about the problem I had to make snotty little remarks, make people mad and ended up kicking my partner out of my place. Luckily I have a very understanding and loving partner cuz most people would have said "see ya". The rest of the week I felt like I was a prisoner of my own body. When I was little I would lay in my bed and every time I closed my eyes I would get this feeling of the walls closing in on me, my chest felt heavy and I couldn't move. This was the first time in a long time I've had this feeling. I would be in a room with people and suddenly all I could hear in my head were voices telling me I wasn't good enough or you really think they want you around. I kept talking to the voices in my head, telling them I was in control and that this will pass. Then the weekend came again, we had a great weekend. We went with friends to the puyallup fair and I could tell I was still having problems with my thinking but I pushed through it anyway. After this weekend ended up a success I was happy again and now I'm back to my old self. I don't understand why I completely melt and my life is almost over if one little thing happens. I am seeing my counselor this week which will help but I just wanted to know if anyone could relate to feeling so panicked?

I was actually just searching the bipolar forums looking for something like this.. I'm probably not even bipolar, but lately I've noticed how easily little things trigger me. I just blew an exam (around 1/5 of our grade I guess) this afternoon because the test got delayed half an hour. I got up and just left the room and didn't come back to get my stuff until I was sure the test was over. This morning I had been pretty optimistic about getting some work done.. but now that I'm in my depressed mood, I pretty much junked those plans.

A few days ago, I came to school early and headed for the library only to realize it wouldn't open for another 15 mins. Instead of simply waiting outside like all the normal, sane people, I walked off and went to my cutting place instead and messed up my arm quite a bit. A few weeks ago, my classmate half-heartedly responded to me when I asked if he had seen my missing handout, and that was enough for me to get so upset that I had to climb out the window (we were on the second floor, but there was a ledge so it was safe). When I get like that, usually I try to get away from everyone and hope they don't notice.

Before I changed my mood to 'depressed', I'd been at 'nervous' for quite a while.. I don't quite remember what I was nervous about though. It all seems so long ago even though I just changed it a couple of days ago.

Hope you feel better soon. That was awesome, telling the voices that you were in control.

Are either of you on medication?

kdclement; I can relate to the anxious feelings. I experienced the worst anxiety for about 3 months prior to being diagnosed. Have you spoken to your Psychiatrist about your concerns? I hope speaking to your therapist helps.