[Nessie]

So I'm maybe 5 months into a new relationship, by far the best one I've ever had. He's a real gem and I feel so lucky to have found each other: he's smart, funny, open, and compassionate; we're attracted to each other; and he actually bothered to do some reading about bipolar so he'd understand what's going on and what to expect (nobody other than my mom has ever made the effort to learn anything about it). He's been more or less living with me for a couple of months, and much to my surprise, I haven't felt smothered or annoyed or any of the things I usually feel in relationships--until now. I've felt off the past couple of weeks, but the primary manifestation of an upcoming episode was irritability, and since I experience that both when I'm depressed and when I'm manic--aren't _I_ fun?!--I couldn't predict what it was going to turn into. Last night I felt so crappy I hardly said anything, but today, when the babbling and stupid jokes and racing thoughts came hemorrhaging out, I recognized it as a mixed episode. OK, I've dealt with that before, it's not as pleasant as some things, but it will pass. The issue, though, is the irritability, which makes me want to explode with RAAAAGE! any time anything happens, or doesn't, or does but in the wrong way, or a leaf falls or a frog breathes or whatever. Accordingly, I don't want him to come too close physically, refer to my house as "ours," ask me any questions, try to be helpful, not try to be helpful... Augghh! All evidence to the contrary, when I'm level I'm very easy-going, low-maintenance, and not easy to upset, and these are some of the things that he likes most about me. This morning I snapped about something stupid--although at least I never hit below the belt, no matter what the circumstances-- and then apologized later, and he said all the right things in all the right ways (again, he's done his reading), including that he's going to call me on it when I'm out of line because that's what the psych sorts say someone in his position should do. This (naturally) also irritated me somewhat, but I recognized the value in that approach and thanked him. He said I wasn't going to scare him off so I don't need to worry about that. As I said, he's a gem, and I never thought I'd be in a relationship this healthy and adult. As such, I'd really like to figure out how to not be such a ***** to him when I'm in these phases where every sound seems ten times louder and any sensation of temperature feels like sandpaper on my skin. So, to my excessively irritated fellows out there: any ideas for keeping tabs on the knee-jerk nastiness when in that I-just-molted phase? Thanks! (I'm sorry this was so long and had so much extraneous detail, but, you know...)

[blueoctober]

Hi Nessie; I'm glad you decided to post. Have you spoken to your P-doc about your symptoms? Have you recently had a med change? If everything with the meds is where it should be (I know for myself I can still have episodes and my meds are finally "good"). If you're not already I would suggest seeing a therapist. That may help increase your coping skills and he or she may have some ideas on how to curb the outbursts.

For me when I get like that I try to avoid people that are a trigger for me ......which can be everyone depending on how irritable I am. I limit my caffeine intake and I eat healthy and regularly. Going to the gym and having a hard workout definitely helps.

[mysecretname]

I would love to see more responses to this as this sounds almost exactly like my situation, except I am the guy without BP... I have now done my research as you put it and I could have sworn he quoted me with the not scaring off part....