[Medicated]

Bipolar has done a lot to make my life... heck... in the past few years, but even so, I feel soooooooo needy whenever I'm a mess and want help. I feel like I torture my poor psychiatrist with my constant emails. I come here and start threads where all I'm looking for is support. I hate taking, taking, taking, and never having anything to give. It makes me hate myself because I feel like just an annoying burden on everyone. I know this is depression talking, but through the "blue" glasses, it feels like truth. Sometimes my life is so one-sided it makes me sick.

Who am I kidding? I am sick.

I hate this. Bipolar sucks.

Yup, that's the depression talking. And it's a damn liar! You are MOST DEFINITELY NOT a burden! And... looking for support? Isn't that why all of us are here?

Ok, BP can suck. I'll agree with you there....

[midnight_soul]

I feel your pain, we all do. And for the record....you say you are always taking and never giving back? My dear, you "are" giving back by coming in here to talk and let out your feelings. I promise you that there will be some one that will read your post that is feeling exactly what you are feeling not realizing that some where there is another soul that is feeling the same way and they found that......by your giving of your feelings. Having said that, you have just taken your first step of finding a place where you will not feel so alone......and when you continue to post you will have certain people that have been so touched by you that they will continue to read every thing you are will to express in here ....and that my friend is you giving even more because then they will also follow in your foot steps....and join us and for briefs moments in time, they,.....you.....me.....all of us here can feel not so alone after all. 5 minutes or so of connecting with others is better than nothing at all.

This place is helping me walk through my dark places, I hope and pray it will do the same for you.

[sugahorse1]

In response to midnight_soul - I feel the same way. I sms'd T last night and told her I was considering stopping T because I felt I was a burden on her.
I always feel lonely - hence the thought of taking sick leave scares me (I have to stay @ home alone during the day) and I'm always clinging onto one or the other person.
I work probably to just have company. Then i get home, cook supper for myself and bf, maybe watch a bit off TV, and the rest of the time I sleep. I cannot handle this loneliness and clinginess.
I see T tomorrow, and I need an action plan forwards.

[PT52]

Originally Posted by Medicated

Bipolar has done a lot to make my life... heck... in the past few years, but even so, I feel soooooooo needy whenever I'm a mess and want help. I feel like I torture my poor psychiatrist with my constant emails. I come here and start threads where all I'm looking for is support. I hate taking, taking, taking, and never having anything to give. It makes me hate myself because I feel like just an annoying burden on everyone. I know this is depression talking, but through the "blue" glasses, it feels like truth. Sometimes my life is so one-sided it makes me sick.

Who am I kidding? I am sick.

I hate this. Bipolar sucks.

Agreed, it sucks. BUT you are not "taking, taking, taking" when you're here. You make some really good contributions. Another reason (particularly selfish ) is that I LOVE to give advice, ramble on, pontificate, share my wisdom, say really dumb things, let my brain loose to say whatever is in it...and this is the only place I can do that! No one in my "real" world allows that kind of freedom! So, if you're having a day that you feel like you're just taking, the truth is that you are giving to me.