hard to tell if I am unwell or not

I have just recently had to take time off my very stressful job due to catching the flu, which turned to a chest infection...horrible!

Just before this I had a row with a colleague who was, in my opinion, patronising and invalidating. Unfortunately other colleagues noticed this and the horrible environment and reported it to my line manager. She called both myself and my colleague into the office and said that she was concerned about our working relationship.

I had already apologised to colleague, who of course did not do the same for me. She has in fact already had three complaints against her. Anyway we had put the row behind us. Now I feel as though I am being watched by the rest of the team and if one more person asks me if I am ok I will scream.

My feeling is that they think I am becoming mentally unwell (I am bipolar). It so bugs me that I have one little spat with a very annoying colleague and it is immediately deemed to be my fault because I am unwell. I don't think I am unwell. I am a little emotional but I could put this down to having a virus.

Sorry just a whinge.

I dont think its fair for them to judge you and assume because you have bipolar disorder its your fault why dont they question the other party involved that is the fair thing to do.

I'm really sorry to hear this. Usually I'm all for being very open about things, including diagnoses. I don't think depression or bi-polar or an anxiety disorder, or whatever, is anything to be ashamed about. So when I hear about employers using a diagnosis of MI against people, it really makes my blood boil. It's so wrong!!! By the sounds of it this annoying colleague of yours has some emotional issues of her own if she already has three formal complaints lodged against her. I'm so sorry you got stigmatized like this. And I really hope you feel better soon

You know what happened - or as much as possible of it. I may be misreading but I'm not sure I understand how the others deemed you had been the one mainly at fault. Perhaps at least one or two of the colleagues are worried the other colleague had precipitated an ill spell in you? Perhaps they have been on the receiving end of that kind of behaviour as well?

I thought it best to remain open minded when I don't have definite evidence of people's attitudes. Guesswork is great in helping us be cautious but not arriving at definite conclusions. On the other hand however, I often find guesswork allays my fears and reassures me.

But it is natural to feel self-conscious at such questions. This again is in fact a positive thing leading to caution.

As for me, it took me 30 years at work to cotton onto all this.

As I say I have no wish to contradict you & I'm sure you have more to go on than I am reading into the story.

My favourite reply on solicitous enquiries became eventually, "Not bad thank you" delivered in a fairly though not exaggeratedly enthusiastic tone and accompanied by a smile and small nod. That was just me though.

Very occasionally but not often, with the addition of a mention of some slight condition (I had several physical ones) but so as to indicate it wasn't deterring me rather than that I needed excess sympathy.

When I was working I didn't recognise I had bipolar so I can't parallel your situation exactly. One colleague from HR did write about my mood swings but it's only of late that I've discussed them with my GP and got triple-purpose medicine.

Thank you all very much for your replies. It is helpful.

It is not my imagination that I am being watched. I have had three different managers ask how I am...drives me nuts! However I was in a meeting with two managers and several colleagues and this particular annoying woman manged to upset another person right in front of us. She has a really unfortunate manner and seems to get right up everyones noses. My manager caught my eye so I know she noticed.

It is awful how one person can cause such bad feeling isn't it.

I have a some chronic pain problems, so if some one sees me flinch when i move too fast or wrong and ask if I huurt, I say brightly with a big smile "all the time!" and move on to another topic. A number of my colleagues know i am biploar also, so I think when I get a solitious questio occassionally, it is more that they are wooried what the extra stress of the pain, if it is a bad week, may affect my mood. Thank God, my problem is one that has a tendency to fade over time,and so it hasn't been as severe lately. I just treat the questions the way I would any other kind question about my health. HUGGGSSS
PS What a pill of a colleague! She must be driving the rest of the work force out of their minds! Maybe they just figure that you are like the canary in the coal mine, no offense meant. They might be able to cite her as a problem for you and move her out on those grounds.

Thank you Lonegael

I suppose one good thing has come of it. I am more thoughtful of what I say and have decided to keep myself to myself.

I'm so glad to hear that this annoying colleague managed to upset someone right in front of all the managers at the meeting!!! I'm sorry she is someone you have to deal with though ((((((donut))))) Talk about a fly in the ointment!

Thank you Sundog.