[Lexaproman]

For many years I was the classic cycler with distinctive mania and depression taking turns. For about 10 years now though my cycles have become simultaneous.

I have learned that this is called Mixed affect or dysphoric and that I may even have Schizoaffective disorder.

This is the worst I have ever felt. Anybody else gone through this?

[BNLsMOM]

Very similar. I can look back on my life and loosely reconstruct my patterns. The last few years, I think have been mixed.

[Moose72]

Yes. Mixed is a horrible place. It's not simply really happy and sad combined.

[wing]

Yes, Lex. I frequently get mixed episodes, even though my depression and mania are well under control with my current med regimen. They are difficult to medicate, therefore i've had to develop other coping skills to deal with them. I use Xanax for the extreme irritability and anxiety-like symptoms, isolation to decrease stimulation, and allow myself "time-out" from the activities of daily life like going a day without a shower, or spending more time in bed. Fortunately, they don't last long.They are such torture, though, that I deserve these concessions to my lifestyle. I've been able to get through them successfully using these techniques for about two years.

[SylviaPlath]

I'm in a mixed state right now. I feel miserable and angry and energetic all at once. It is a terrible state to be in. Hang in there Lex

Yeah, and it is no fun place <understatement>. If it's not too personal a question...On your profile you list BP. With your user name being Lexaproman...I have to ask... are you on a mood stabilizer?

(Reason I ask is that I was mismedicated (because of misdiagnosis) for a number of years by a GP that put me on ADs alone -- only one of which was Lexapro. Being on ADs alone put me in terrible places and made my cycling all over the place (way worse than before, even though I didn't know what cycling was, just lived it.). There are of course, BP folks who have ADs in their med mix (some can, some can't), but without a mood stabilizer, yikes, trouble.)

With your reference to a number of years I'm highly guessing this isn't the case (solo ADs) for you, but figured it couldn't hurt to ask...

[Lexaproman]

Nothing is too personal at this point for me. I actually should update my profile and give a better picture.

Ironically I do not take Lexapro anymore. I long thought it ineffective. They had me on Wellbutrin and Lexapro.

They recently changed it to a drug I am forgetting the name of right at this moment. I have been on Prozac, Xanox, Paxol, Lithium, Zoloft, and many others I forget.

I also have a condition in which I need a high dose of meds in order for my body to respond at all. That is why I had to stop Lithium, I had to take too much and was told it was not safe for my liver and kidneys if I kept it up.

[sugahorse1]

Those mixed episodes are terrible - you actually don't feel in control of yourself anymore, as you never know what to expect from yourself from one minute to the next.

[Lexaproman]

As hard as it is to believe the worst part is the physical toll it takes to fight it. I just don't know how long I can hang on. But I know I can't stop either!

Originally Posted by Lexaproman

Nothing is too personal at this point for me. I actually should update my profile and give a better picture.
Ironically I do not take Lexapro anymore. I long thought it ineffective. They had me on Wellbutrin and Lexapro.
They recently changed it to a drug I am forgetting the name of right at this moment. I have been on Prozac, Xanox, Paxol, Lithium, Zoloft, and many others I forget.
I also have a condition in which I need a high dose of meds in order for my body to respond at all. That is why I had to stop Lithium, I had to take too much and was told it was not safe for my liver and kidneys if I kept it up.

Have you happened to remember the name of the one they have recently changed you to? But more importantly, if it is in fact a mood stabilizer? The lithium, of course, is a mood stabilizer, but since you are no longer on that, I can't help but ask... is what they switched you to a mood stabilizer? Because all the others you list are anti-depressants. (Hence my concern.)

(Sorry to be so pesky on this point... )

[sugahorse1]

Hi Lexapro,
I hope this episode passes quickly and that you are feeling better!

[Lexaproman]

Yes it is depakote for now. Too early too tell you how it is working. Other than I feel horrible now!

Sorry you're feeling horrible...hope the depakote will work out for you -- beginnings sure can be hard.

[sugahorse1]

Try be positive and believe the Depakote will be the one for you. Be strong. Get enough sleep, as fighting these episodes is hard work, physically as well as mentally.

[wing]

Lex, I think Depakote takes only a short while to get into the theraputic range. Have you been in touch with your doctor? Maybe something else will work better for you...I'm a big fan of Lamictal. When Abilify was added, my mixed states became far less severe and shorter lasting.

[Lexaproman]

Ironically Abilify was one of his choices but I have sugar related problems and evidently that is a problem with Abilify.

It has only been less than 2 weeks on Depakote so we'll see. Plus I am sadly one of those people who need excessive doses of any medicine before my body assimilates the needed amount.

[wing]

Hang in there, Lex. How are you doing now?