[allme]

Hi all.

Since my husband was told he couldnt work again (due to physical reasons) he has declined into depression and low low confidence. I have tried my best to be there for him and be supportive but he is triggering me I crashed recently after a high and now feel totally fed up and at my wits end. He is taking it out on me and is being very argumentative, opinionated and critical of me.... all of which are not helping my own confidence and self asteem. I tried to talk to him and tell him what he is doing to me but he shouted at me and told me I dont care! BUT I do care.. I'm just not willing to be his punch bag especially when he wont go to the docs and get help. I dont want to sound selfish but I myself am unbalanced at the best of times and cant handle his crap. how can u be supportive to someone that is abusing you? I cant handle it and really dont know what to do He needs help but wont get it ..... what do I do????

[Gus1234U]

as they say in the airplane orientation, First: put on your own oxygen mask~!

[Skully]

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

as they say in the airplane orientation, First: put on your own oxygen mask~!

Excellent advice!
Take care of you! I know you feel for your husband but you must think of your own mental health first. He more than likely is depressed due to a job loss and other stress and probably not forever. You, on the other hand, have bipolar and that is an ongoing condition and you must take care to not trigger it's ups and downs. You can love and support your husband, but try to detach yourself away from his problems at the moment and concentrate on yours. I don't want that to sound mean, I just want you to be ok!

And I am sorry for what you and your husband are having to go through. It is very tough I know from personal experience!

[allme]

Thanks Skully

I woke up this morning to his crying its gut wrenching. I went to cuddle him but he told me to f*** off Now he is playing computer ganes with his friend and is laughing and having a good time. I just dont know what to do. I feel awful and and miserable over it because he is taking it out on me. How do u help someone that doesnt want to help themselves?

[sugahorse1]

He needs to come to terms with not being allowed to work due to physical reasons. It's probably making him very depressed. Maybe he should see a T to help him deal with it. He will need to find something else to keep himself occupied though. It's not good physically, emotionally or mentally to not do anything. And it's probably not helping the depression either.

Like the others have said - look after yourself first. There's no use in you burning yourself out too.

[allme]

yes I agree and thank you

Need to take a chill pill.

[bpd2]

Laughter is a great thing...
I'm sorry you're getting the not-laughing part of your husband's self-therapy, though. REALLY sorry. Men tend to like to DO something to get better. I wonder if what's he's doing (the video gaming) will distract him enough that you can reach a peaceful place again. I hope so. You are going through so much. I'm sorry.