[flawlessimperfectionsmft]

I have just been recently diagnosed with bipolar so this whole diagnoses is rather new to me and I don't know everything that comes along with this wild ride known as the Bipolar Disorder. I was diagnosed this year (Early 2010) and ever since have been trying to find the right medicine that would finally stabilize my mood. It was a pain and literally exhausting to be searching for the medication. There were ups and downs and everything in-between. I finally think I found the right type of medicine. I am currently on 1000mg Depakote and 10mg Abilify for my bipolar though I take many other medications and vitamins to keep me functioning at an okay level. My mood swings have literally disappeared. However I can't seem to control my emotions at all. For instance I will flip about nothing and just start bawling uncontrollably. I have no control over what people like to call "staying calm in rough situations". I try my hardest but utterly fail at it. Example of this is today I didn't realize that I had moved my medicine back from my boyfriends apartment to my apartment and thought I had lost all my medicine (Scary right!) And I flipped ****. I immediately started blaming others thinking they stole my medication and I was crying uncontrollably and couldn't stop . I was yelling at everyone. Now is this because of my bipolar or is this what normal people experience? I mean this has been going on for as long as I can remember. Me getting angry. I even threatened to run my car into the tree or pole when we were driving back to my apartment to check to see if the medication was there. I just get so emotional so quick and it's hard to flip me off once this happens. I'm just curious if this is really because of bipolar or not because I thought I had found the right medication that would control every aspect of my life. Help please

[LaraLynn]

I am not sure if this is bipolar I am also borderline (BPD) and this sounds a lot like that. Especially the getting angry really quick and the threatening part. BPD can be very manipulative when angered and that is the kinds of things that I would do. Maybe read up on Borderline and see what you think - I could be wrong, but it you could have a duel diagnosis. I do - I have Bipolar I and BPD.

Maybe other people will see it differently.

[flawlessimperfectionsmft]

Maybe I will post this thread up on the borderline forum.

[Ryask]

i am on the right medications, and i too have extreme reactions to trivial or small things, i think it's kinda normal for bi-polar, i get extremely aggitated, but it's mostly when i am hypo-manic, or manic i find.

[flawlessimperfectionsmft]

Maybe I'm manic and just don't feel like I am. I feel fine I mean I have had manic episodes before so I know what the experience is like but who knows.

[Skully]

I am on a good medication mix and I still have problems with my emotions. I guess that is the "behavior" part. They say that medication is only 50% of the battle, the other 50% is behavior.....whatever that is supposed to mean lol.

[Anneinside]

I you don't already, you should consider therapy. You can learn coping skills to help eliminate those emotional outbursts.

[flawlessimperfectionsmft]

I am currently in therapy yet I still can't get them under control.

[Ryask]

i don't know how mania and hypo mania etc feels for everyone but for me, i didn't know it was mania for years until i was diagnosed. I mean i have some trouble sleeping, but i feel great, i go out and do things have energy etc...and i am extremely quick to anger, that's my hypo mania...feeling great but sudden bursts of anger

[BNLsMOM]

Here's the thing, we go so many years undiagnosed and have to come up with ways to cope with life before meds. Then when it becomes too much we seek help and are under the impression that meds will cure us. What the meds do is give us room to learn new coping mechinisms with a steady mood to back it up.

It is nothing to be ashamed about. Think about how successful you have been at life, even if it hasn't gone the way you expected it to... You made it to today and now you are working hard to get better.

[blueoctober]

flawlessimperfectionsmft your reaction seems extreme to me and it may be related to your diagnosis. For me meds are about 60% of the equation for controlling my bipolar and if your reaction seems extreme to you perhaps discuss a med change with your pdoc. I've been diagnosed since 2007 and I still have my moments where my natural response is amped up by 100, but it's nothing like I was prior to my diagnosis. I also notice a difference with my menstrual cycle (PMS). if you're not already I would suggest speaking to a therapist.

[flawlessimperfectionsmft]

What difference do you notice when you are on your period? Because this swing happened while I was menstruating.

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by flawlessimperfectionsmft

What difference do you notice when you are on your period? Because this swing happened while I was menstruating.

Sometimes my mood can be all over the place prior to my cycle. During my cycle I don't find it as bad, but I do find my mood isn't 100%. I'm either crabby or I'm mildly depressed. I track my mood and I make note when I'm menstruating.