[RRU96]

Okay. I just got finished with a facebook conversation with my mother. We talk from time to time, see how things are, checking up on my wifes health. Well, today as in the past, I mentioned my Bipolar. In the past my mother has always made a comment which made it appear that she didnt believe I even had a diagnosis.

Tonight the conversation gets there and this is what I get:

are you sure it is bipolar or just a combo of "too much **** going on in your life?

Now. I have told her time and time again that I have been diagnosed with Bipolar. And she still comes up and says something like that.

My dad went to prison for sex abuse - Married to him still
My sister was abused and has depression issues, currently on marriage number 3 - Gave her a granddaughter
My brother, diagnosed Schizophrenic...
And then there is me. And the best I can get is:
are you sure it is bipolar or just a combo of "too much **** going on in your life?

Does this mentality of mine seem justified by this comment? Am I out of line to feel like **** because of this?

[Moose72]

Seeing as bipolar is along the same chromatic scale as scizophrenia, O'd think that Your brother's diagnosis should be a clue to her. What does she say to your brother? My mother has the lovely "syndrome" of telling me she's always worse off than I am. Maybe your mother is denying your bipolar for a similar reason? Or maybe she believes your brother and can't deal with having two kids with a mental illness? At any rate, I don't expect my mother to understand or care about my illness- maybe that's the best course if action for you and yours- if she married and stayed married to an abusive person, there's probably cideoendence issues as well as denial. (my dad is alcoholic though they've been divorced for 17 years now)

[PT52]

Originally Posted by RRU96

Okay. I just got finished with a facebook conversation with my mother. We talk from time to time, see how things are, checking up on my wifes health. Well, today as in the past, I mentioned my Bipolar. In the past my mother has always made a comment which made it appear that she didnt believe I even had a diagnosis.

Tonight the conversation gets there and this is what I get:

are you sure it is bipolar or just a combo of "too much **** going on in your life?

Now. I have told her time and time again that I have been diagnosed with Bipolar. And she still comes up and says something like that.

My dad went to prison for sex abuse - Married to him still
My sister was abused and has depression issues, currently on marriage number 3 - Gave her a granddaughter
My brother, diagnosed Schizophrenic...
And then there is me. And the best I can get is:
are you sure it is bipolar or just a combo of "too much **** going on in your life?

Does this mentality of mine seem justified by this comment? Am I out of line to feel like **** because of this?

Hi RRU96 - sorry your mother doesn't get it. It would make anyone feel badly if the parent isn't supportive. In an odd way, she sort of has a point; too much anything going on in someone's life is likely to exacerbate the symptoms of a mental disorder. Your mom may not understand what you're going thru, but she loves you. When I read your comments about your father, sister and brother I'm not sure I understand where you're going with it.

I guess my point is that this is really about how you and your mother interact. And while she may never believe you (my mom thinks AA will "cure" me), your treatment doesn't hinge on that. I learned to let my mom think what she wants, love her anyway, and do what I need to do for my own well-being. It doesn't stop me from feeling badly when she says those kind of things, but it helps me not to bang my head against a brick wall trying to convince her she's wrong.

I hope that helps and if it's any comfort, we believe you.

[wifethatwas0102]

RRU96 -- my ILs are the same way. My DH is currently working towards his diagnosis of BP (most likely BP2). His mother is upset he's getting a "label" and doesn't think he should see a "quack". She says hes just unhappy with life because he took on too much at a young age (married and 2 kids and a house at 26).

But here's the background:
His dad is a second time child sex offender in jail serving 17 years
His mom tried to commit suicide in 2004
His sister was sexually abused, tried to commit suicide in 2002, and spent years in therapy for depression and personally, shows many signs of BP (she agrees, and says her counselor has suggested it..but says she does well on her own)
His biological grandfather sex abused his father, and his biological mother had mental issues.

The history is there, yet she isn't willing to accept it. I'd go so far as to say SHE could be bipolar. She's been told time and again she needs counseling for her depression, but she hates counselors.

Sometimes people just live in their own little world, and dont' want to accept the truth because its too hard to deal with. I do think you have the right to be upset or angry, because in the long run she's not supporting you in the way you need to be supported.

I'm sorry. :-(

[sugahorse1]

If your parent's comments upset you, try block it out. You need to be the one to make peace with where you are at.

[wing]

Maybe your mom has so much on her plate that she is in denial that you have your issues too. I would stay away from the BP subject altogether and lighten up the conversations. Anyone who doesn't believe your diagnosis can't be expected to be part of a support system.

[Amura]

My mom refuses to accept my diagnosis also.
She swears that it is my thyroid or a hormone imbalance. I have been diagnosed for 15 years! She continues to try to come up with cures for me. Most recently she swears that I have a vitamin 'D' deficiency.
I can't talk to her about medication because she is sure that it is not a chemical imbalance. I have gotten to the point where I hide my treatment because she thinks I am overreacting to life and do not need to waste my money seeing therapists.
It is so frustrating!

[sugahorse1]

I'm not even going to try bring it up with my parents, as I know they'll have too many of their own opinions to add. So I've never told them. I obviously don't have them in my support system either.

[thinker22]

My mother at first accepted my diagnosis, but then she tried to claim it was heavy metals poisoning or a nutritional problem. My meds are the only thing keeping me out of the hospital with severe depression, but I take vitamin D and all the other supplements she sends me because I figure it can't hurt. Still, I wish she would stop blaming everything but my brain chemistry being imbalanced and a history of being abused. She wants to get me off my meds eventually. As much as I would like to, I doubt I'll ever be able to go off them and lead a normal life. I have a severe case of bipolar and after a lifetime of depression, anxiety, PTSD, and mixed episodes, I don't want to undo what has made me stable since July of last year. All this to say, I feel for you and am sorry your mom doesn't see that you have a serious illness.