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#1
Feb 13, 2011, 10:42 AM
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What on earth is going on with me?!?
I just want to fight and kill everyone (Not literally). My boyfriend is getting the worst of the brunt - he doesn't deserve it - and others are getting the silent treatment - they DO deserve it  I wake up in the morning irritated and inevitably land up in an arguement. I am beginning to hate myself for it. My Wellbutrin was upped on 4 Feb, but it was for the better (Cannot take 1/2 an XL tablet) This last week I have been a bit over the top, going out and drinking too much, getting too little sleep... Saturday morning I slept in for hours. Same things on Sunday. Both days I slept in the afternoon too. And during the week I never felt tired anough to have a snooze (Not that it's an option in an 8-5 job!) But now I cannot explain what is going on. I do feel like I want to get out of the house (I have ridden my horse Saturday and Sunday!!! Even in the scorching heat) and sometimes get angry if my boyfriend doesn't want to come out with me. But again - this is where I start fighting. Back on to Clonazepam? I did take one neearly every day this last week, and not this weekend. Sounds like withdrawl?!? Thanks to all of you guys 
__________________
"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn |
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#2
Feb 13, 2011, 10:49 AM
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And...my internet and PC time have REALLY been cut.
Think I may be battling without my PC support?!? And maybe I am slightly addicted to the internet - now I feel I've lost a lot... 
__________________
"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn |
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#3
Feb 13, 2011, 11:14 AM
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Have you contacted your Pdoc? Perhaps you need to be switched to regular wellbutrin (this comes in tabs smaller than 150) or taken off anti-d's all together. I know you know this, but the drinking is only going to make things worse. Hope you're feeling better soon.
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Favorite book on bipolar "Living with Someone who is Living with Bipolar Disorder" by Chelsea Lowe, 2010 Check out my blog The Bipolar Roller Coaster: http://blueoctober.psychcentral.net/ New Post March 23 "New Therapist" |
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#4
Feb 13, 2011, 12:02 PM
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Wellbutrin made me ridiculously agitated. For the few weeks I was on it, I was throwing stuff and starting fights, it was awful, and way more pronounced than my usual agitation.
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#5
Feb 13, 2011, 12:18 PM
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Meh i am angry all the time, i constantly fight with everyone around me ..and you know...i kinda feel bad about it..but..i'd much rather scream and yell at other people then scream and yell at myself by internalizing ever issue that has ever come up. Ideally you would be half way in between...a healthy balance of blaming others and blaming yourself....but...i dunno about you...but after 28 years of blaming myself for everything..i need a freaking break...and if it means i snap at my family etc...then so be it....
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 "Love is patient; love is kind; love is not boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things". I Corinthians 13: 4-7
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#6
Feb 13, 2011, 06:12 PM
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Quote:
I wish you all the best. Mac
__________________
 Many times I've been alone and many times I've cried anyway you'll never know the many ways I've tried DX: Ultra ultra rapid cycling bipolar 1 depression with frequent mixed episodes Meds: Lamictal 400mg Geodon 160mg Concerta 18mg Klonopin 1mg prior meds: Trileptal, Risperdal, Celexa, Lexapro, Zyprexa, Invega, Abilify, Lithium, Effexor, Ativan |
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#7
Feb 13, 2011, 08:02 PM
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For me when I am angry and want to kill someone or I am restless and agitated I know its my depression talking...Also I am sick of winter and I feel couped up so that is also not helping!!
__________________
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich The road to hell is paved with good intentions. "And psychology has once again proved itself the doofus of the sciences" Sheldon Cooper 
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#8
Feb 14, 2011, 03:26 AM
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i have been everything but depressed for about 3 months. I really feel I need the Wellbutrin, as before I started on it i was just plain depressed. Never had a decent day. Sometime suicidal depression.
Wellbutrin has sorted this out for me. I think I am now going through circumstantial depression, and not sure if my pdoc can help me with this. I did apologise to my bf last night and this morning. I thought most of this depression stuff was finally behind me. There's so much running through my head. I don't who I can still trust; who is actually a real friend. Arg! And had a 2 week break between T visits, which probably has also lingered in the back of my mind. Slowed down on the drinking this past weekend. I know I need to stop-right now it is more a social thing, very rarely self-medicating. I'm also concerned about possibly having to disclose my BP to my work-maybe they'll understand more. Sorry, need to stip whining-i just feel alone and stressed about life. Thanks for all yr sypport. Will take my clonazepam and shut up |
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#9
Feb 14, 2011, 06:49 AM
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Hey Suga,
so sorry you've got all this on your plate, wish I could take a load off ya... Know that I'm thinking of you, and sms/mail/PM me anytime you need to chat, that's what friends are for right?  Hope you start feeling better sOOn hun. XOXO
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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#10
Feb 15, 2011, 01:58 AM
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Quote:
Ditto
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Life is like a storm with millions of eyes. So deceptive.
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#11
Feb 15, 2011, 03:18 AM
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Your Wellbutrin increase could very well be the issue. It's already been said, but drinking will only make it worse. Talk to your Pdoc soon.
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#12
Feb 15, 2011, 04:28 AM
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thanks everyone. Will see T on Fri, and just trying to swim until then. Know i need to get stuck into work-now to find the motivation.
I just don't want to hurt loved ones around me. |
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