[yagalada]

2010 was a pretty stable year, if anything I was just depressed and anxious, but a lot of it was situational, this was after a 3 or 4 year period of constant up and down. Now it seems it's happening again. November 2010 I started getting depressed and January and February seems like I just go from uncomfortable mixed/manic to a deep crash back to uncomfortable mixed/manic. there is no even mood for me whatsoever.

So, its basically going to be like this til I get back on the right meds? I have a pdoc appt tomorrow at 1230 and Im hopeful and afraid. The wrong meds mess me up even worse than this, and I don't think I've ever had the right combo of meds - which is why I went off them in 2009.

I don't even know if any of this makes sense, so I'm sorry. I havent had more than 2ish hours of sleep a night in quite some time

[Larfu]

The best thing you can do for yourself is to be really clear to your doctor about how you feel on the meds you are taking now, and tell him/her where improvement should be made. Self-advocate, and keep track of how those meds are affecting you. This is a place to start, I hope.

[wing]

yagalada, as much as we all hate med changes, i think you are recognizing that it may be time for that...sleeping 2 hours per night not only signals hypomania, it will make a mixed state worse. Maybe all you need is a tweak since you've done so well this past year. The holidays throw a lot of people for a loop, maybe you're taking a bit longer to stabilize.

[Mac Murphy]

I agree with wing... med changes can be scary and I went through enough of them but with persistence I was finally put on a good cocktail that really minimizes mixed episodes. Good luck with your P tomorrow.

[embracinglife]

I hope you and your doctor can find the right meds that work for you! I know how frustrating that can be.

[kitty004567]

I hope you find the right meds soon! And in answer to your title's question, "Where's my normal period in between episodes?" I never had them so I can't answer. The only stability I've ever known was on medication. I hope you find your "normal" soon

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by yagalada

... I just go from uncomfortable mixed/manic to a deep crash back to uncomfortable mixed/manic. there is no even mood for me whatsoever....

(sympathyhug)
I know that experience intimately, and am useless to offer help. I hope you find a better solution than I have.

[sugahorse1]

it has taken me until now - about 2 years down the line- to find meds that have helped me level out. Before that i cycled between mixed episodes, sever depression and a day or 2 of hypomania.
It is a long process and will require tenacity. But know that there is light at the end of the tunnel . You will get to a stage where you are stable again

[Vita]

Good luck, I hope, and think you will make it eventually.
I hav only recentli got my diagnose an started on meds (good at denying and suppressing), but with a good hit, for two years. A new life!
In retrospect, even the time between clearcut episodes were not "normal". I had a fluctuating and irritable mood, acted emotionally vulnerable and had periods of fatigue - probably depressive.

[disguise123]

its true good meds, sleep, less stress , all these things can help you stabilize but at the same time the last time i spoke to my doc she told me that i need to accept that the constant up and down may be as good as it gets for me....