[DivorcedWoman]

Just thought I would write a little about my journey here and see if anyone else has had some similar experiences and has feedback or input. So I was officially diagnosed with Bipolar in 2005. I did try to commit suicide in 2001 but they diagnosed me with depression only even though I had a huge family history of BP. When I was diagnosed BP I didn't have a full blown manic episode and didn't go to the hospital so I believe my initial diagnosis was BP 2. I had a bad manic attack in 2007 and I think I was manic for about 3 months. I did all sorts of horrible things to my husband and tried to flee with my son. As a result I was 5150ed and hospitalized for two days. The doc suggested I stay in for two more days and I took his advice as long as I got a day pass to visit my son.

When I got out of the hospital my ex served me with divorce papers and that he had been given custody of my son. I had one night to pack up my things and get out of the house. I was still in the throes of mania so I managed to pack up all my clothes, artwork I wanted and pretty much everything I could except furniture in a few hours. Two friends helped me load their cars and mine with all my stuff. I look back now and can't believe I was able to do all that in one night. Luckily one of my girlfriends helped me get a storage space and a brochure on local apartments. I also had a 2nd cousin that lived closed by that helped me financially and gave me a place to stay until I was situated with an apartment, rental furniture and had access to some money, which only took me about a week. She also came to some meetings with my new lawyer so that helped.

As the mania started wearing off I moved into a depressive episode as everything hit the fan. I felt abandoned and like a total loser. The doc suggested I do a PHP program so I took a leave of absence from work. I had a great job and was making a 6 figure salary but had been sexually harassed at work and during the throes of mania I reported it to HR.

Yes, I was manic but it did happen and one of my colleagues heard at least one of the inappropriate comments that was made to me in the workplace. I was depressed and afraid to go back to work. I took about 5 months off of work and when I returned they had hired somebody to do my position. They said we would have a co-position and cover the sames sales teams and the teams could chose with person they wanted to work with.

They did eventually assign us teams but I of course got the most challenging and low producing teams even though I had been successful with the other teams. The company I worked for was one of those good ole boy network groups too so I felt uncomfortable about the harassment stuff. I did manage to struggle through for about 8 months at this company but then was laid off due to merging of departments. I quite frankly was just surviving with the divorce and the fact that I had supervised visitation with my son and I wasn't at my best in the work world. I have to thank god that I was able to keep that position for so long as I had no access to our joint money.

Luckily it only took me 3 months to find a new job. I took a significant pay cut but I needed a job and it was a flexible telecommuting position. I started off well but then was pulled into the throes of depression again and dealing with the divorce, custody, etc. Thank god again I kept this job for over a year and kept getting more and more time with my son. We also finalized the divorce during this time and my ex announced he was dating someone and introducing my son to her. (I suspect they knew each other before our divorce and might have even had something on the side beforehand but that's all conjecture.

I've been out of work for over a year now. Part of the time I was overmedicated and unproductive but we got the medication situated and I've been stable for 10 months now. Last year I managed to regain 50% custody of my son, I met an awesome man who knows everything about me, my disorder and the awful things I did during my manic attack (He's in AA and has gone through some tough times too) and he loves and accepts me for who I am. You can never guarantee that you will stay with someone, but I do feel more secure that he would be there to support me during a tough time versus what my ex-husband did to me and friends and family that just go with the stigma of the illness. Yes, I did do awful things to him and I do take ownership over that, but he wasn't a walk in the park and I sure do feel that all our issues got blamed on my illness. I lost the house, my son, friends and the family, not him.

Well, I'm back in job hunt mode. I'm excited, worried, etc., but I just have to have faith that I'm on good meds right now, I've got a good team in place and I will be successful on this new journey and with my redesigned life. I actually feel self-confident again and I haven't truly felt that since the fallout of my 2007 manic episode. I'm also learning through myself, my boyfriend and my therapist that I am not defined by bipolar. As much as I did with my episode, I do have a very good successful track record as a pillar in the community, kind, caring, generous and successful in my career. I'm not a piece of **** like my ex made me seem.

I have my challenges with my ex weekly, but we've always had communication problems pre-marriage, marriage and post marriage so I don't suspect that will entirely change. All I can do it pray for him and maybe someday we will both get over the anger, hurt and resentment toward each other in what was a high conflict divorce and custody battle.

So if you managed to read my post, thanks for reading my ramblings.

[Kymaro]

Congrates - an inspiring (sp) story - Glad to see you holding your chin up! Keep up the good life. :-)

[vjdragonfly]

Divorced Woman you should be really proud of yourself, you have made it through some really difficult times. I'm glad your meds are working now and that you have found a boyfriend that excepts you the way you are. As for your ex, I wouldn't hold my breath for him to change and communicate better. It is wonderful you have 50% custody of your kiddo. You are a very strong person and I think you can look to a better future.

[Trippin2.0]

You are AMAZING! D0n't u forget that, just look at what you've had 2 overc0me... You should be really proud of yourself DW.

[dragonfly2]

I agree with the others. You should be proud of what you've been able to accomplish. You've been through hell and risen from the ashes. My story isn't quite the same as yours, but I have also had to rebuild from the ground up in the past. You can do this.

Keep us updated and let us know how the job hunt goes.

Peace ~ Dragonfly