[emm82]

I am worried that I have bipolar. But I dont know! I feel so down and empty and hopeless. I dont know how or why I got this way. my boyfriend has just broken up with me because of it. I have pushed him away, even though I love him. I have made such a mess of things at work, I have made so many mistakes I am now overwhelmed by them. Ive stolen things. My house is a mess because all ive been doing is drinking, smoking and eating junk foos. Most the time I just sit and stare feeling so miserable I cant move. I was insanely jealous of my boyfriend and hated him even going out with his friends. I kind of knew I was driving him away but I just couldnt help it. Sometimes I feel so disconnected from reality. I am so controlled by my emotions, even if I CAN think logically I just act in different way. Im at such a loss of what to do!!

[allme]

Hi there *hugs* I am so sorry to hear of your difficulties! The only person that can diagnose you is a doctor or specialist. It sounds like whatever you're going through has become very disruptive to your life.....so now, more than ever its important to seek help! You've made a very important step here by reaching out and admitting something may be wrong Kudos for that! So maybe on Monday it is a good idea to go and see your doc to discuss the problems you have been having? If it gets too bad before then, you could always to go A&E? Just a safety net. Until you see your doc, I would try and surround yourself with people that may be able to offer some form of support. And of course, keep posting here....there are many supportive people here .... we all understand what it is to have mental illness..... wishing you all the best. xx

[blueoctober]

Welcome emma! Allme has given great advice and I agree the first step would be to see your GP and ask for a referral to see a Psychiatrist. Prior to seeing the Psychiatrist I would suggest writing down any symptoms you've had and you may want to track your mood. There's a great one online at http://www.medhelp.org/land/mood-tracker

Bipolar has a strong genetic link, so let the Psychiatrist know if anyone in your family has been diagnosed with a mental illness.

I can still remember how desperate I felt during my last major depression prior to being diagnosed. It was an awful feeling. I suffered in silence for many months. Learn from my mistake and ask for Professional help.

Keep us posted

[PT52]

Hi emm82, so sorry you're having a rough time. It's great, though, that you've found PC and shared your troubles - there is a lot of caring and support here.

allme and blueoctober both have some excellent suggestions, and sooner is better than later. I lost a couple of jobs before I was diagnosed, overspent, drank way too much, took way too many risks. The thing is, even after a diagnosis and proper treatment, all of those those things have to be dealt with. So the sooner you get treatment, the fewer issues you have to fix.

One more thing - if your boyfriend truly loves you, he'll see the effort you're making to get help and he'll be there for you.

[vjdragonfly]

((((((emm82)))))) Welcome!
I am so sorry you are going through such a rough time right now. I know the feeling of desperation and how it can totally engulf you. I agree with everyone else, you need to get professional help and as soon as possible. There is help out there, you just have to ask for it. Wishing you the best of luck and hope you find the help you need.