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#1
Apr 07, 2011, 05:43 PM
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Hey guys,
Just wondering if anyone else feels like this and or experiences this..... I am obsessing over a lot of things at the moment. Journalling Watching same DVD over and over Watching a TV prog which was on, on Saturday over and over Pacing over certain areas of my room Staying up to a certain time I don't know why I am doing it... It's kinda going from being mild to a bit harder now Is this normal?? |
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#2
Apr 07, 2011, 06:05 PM
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I don't know if it's normal or not, but I've got kind of similar things. I can watch the same dvd over and over and over and over again. Same with music. Long after every nuance has been utterly memorized... Just today at my psych's, was lining up the magazines, flipping a pillow to fluff, picking up a tiny piece of mirror from the floor, even straightening a picture on the wall. Kind of like a mental pacing I guess...(these things -and others as well- don't seem much mood related for me, but I have to ask --)
You've been on the upside for awhile now... Do you think it is connected at all? |
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#3
Apr 07, 2011, 06:13 PM
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Hey Innerzone,
I do have OCD tendancies so was kinda thinking it was that but I am unsure. The whole watching the same DVD.... wearing the DVD out is not uncommon in my house for me. I have also to add I will become addicted to a computer game and will HAVE to play it to get past a certain level no matter how long I have to stay awake to play it. Not good having the WII in my room. It's since been removed and I don't have that urge if you like to play it. |
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#4
Apr 07, 2011, 08:21 PM
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Oh without a doubt I am obsessive-compulsive. But my therapist said that EVERYONE has some level of these tendencies. If I go on a house-cleaning binge, it can go on non-stop for three days, until I reach exhaustion level; and if I start sweeping the yard, it'll be done to the point whereby so much as a speck of dust can't be seen.
That's why I avoid getting too carried away with things; because I don't know when to stop, and it puts me completely into overdrive. My only consolation is that my neighbor's thing is removing all evidence that it EVER snowed on his property, to the point that he sweeps the snow off his trees and shrubs lol! So there's hope for us yet..... |
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#5
Apr 08, 2011, 02:06 PM
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Do you think that it is just that my OCD coming out in me a bit more. I am kinda obsessed with a TV character/Actress and I have never been like this before in "fantasy" life. In real life ye I am obsessed with people sometimes
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#6
Apr 08, 2011, 02:14 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss |
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#7
Apr 08, 2011, 02:23 PM
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I take 80 mg Prozac and that helps my OCD.
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#8
Apr 08, 2011, 02:24 PM
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Ok thanks Vjdragonfly,
I am not seeing Psych till 6th May but I see my GP on 19th April will talk to her. I feel fine though. I feel I can manage on this.... maybe not the sleep though. I got a bit upset and annoyed that I can not contact the Actress who plays the Character.... I can not find it anywhere. I know I can somehow. |
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#9
Apr 08, 2011, 02:28 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss |
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#10
Apr 08, 2011, 02:47 PM
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I have been feeling a bit upset and I have had some thoughts of hurting myself.... I never feel like this when I am feeling good/great. Today I was finishing the gardening off.... I was cleaning the lawn mower and thought about hurting myself off the blades. I don't know what's going on. It's like my Jekyll and Hyde personality is on high alert recently.
This isn't normal defo!!! |
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#11
Apr 08, 2011, 02:51 PM
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As long as your not acting on those thoughts you are ok for now. If it becomes harder to resist then please get help. Call your GP and see if you can't be seen sooner. Keep yourself safe.
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss |
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#12
Apr 08, 2011, 03:16 PM
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Ok thanks Vjdragonfly.... It's all gooood!!!
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#13
Apr 09, 2011, 12:05 AM
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Sometimes I watch the same dvd because its comforting to me. I know it will not make me think about anything that upsets me..I forget about my life for a couple of hours and am truly happy. And I kind of do the same thing with staying up late.. I stay up late bc I know that as soon as I get in bed everyone thing i hate about my life will come pouring into my brain.. and if i wait til im exhausted ill just pass out in 10 mintues. So maybe its not an obsession, you staying up til a certain time, maybe you are just making an excuse to not go to bed.
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#14
Apr 09, 2011, 07:34 AM
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Thanks Joliette,
I use to do this when I was manic manic and felt sleep was a bit unsafe and scary for me. But I don't feel that way at the moment. I just feel good!! It's really random and weird at the moment. I use to have some really nasty nightmares when I slept so I chose to stay awake. Then eventually crash when I was completely unable to focus and keep my eyes open |
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#15
Apr 09, 2011, 09:40 AM
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Quote:
Hi Miss Laura , Yes i do some of these things. I have movies recorded in my DVR and some i watch over and over.I to stay up to a certain time every night. I seem to think that if i go to bed before that time i will have a longer night. I also pace in certain areas. And when i'm on the phone it is worse.I dont hardly sit down during the day.For some reason i feel i have to ALWAYS be doing something. I also fight my sleep like a child. It's like i'm sleepy but my brain says to stay awake.. Your not alone.I bet others deal with this also.. Hope your Day is Good ! 
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#16
Apr 09, 2011, 11:35 PM
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No Laura, that doesn't sound good at all, if you are thinking of hurting yourself! Now I have always listened to the same song over and over without ever getting bored with it. As vjdragonfly says, very possibly it IS manic, except it's something that I have always done, and it's hurting nobody. If the remedy to that is for me to consume more meds, and turn into a mindless zombie to subdue myself, then that's a no-go for me.
But with the hurting business, that's not a good sign for you. If you continue thinking like that, I'd contact my doctor, as you might just put your thoughts into actions if it's not kept in check. And I guess if the constant DVD watching is a new occurance, something which you have not always done, then something's up. Check it out with the doc. |
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#17
Apr 10, 2011, 01:42 PM
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Hey Sunshine1992,
My logic on the sleeping situation is that I can survive on no sleep... I know dumb huh!! My close ex best friend use to say I fight sleep a lot and that I need to stop..... it's soooo hard to stop though. I use to always be on my feet and never sit down and it was a constant thing for me to be doing something.... now a days I am sooooo lazy and bored all the time and have no energy bah!!! want the good feelings back regarding energy levels. Hey Kathleen Slattery, I think I am ok, I don't really want to hurt myself.... my head is just playing games. I have always had the wearing down CD's and DVD's down/out it's a standard occurence in my house. Singing In The Rain is my fave DVD that is now non-exsistence lol. Think my obsessions are the thing that is getting a bit high I guess. I am really obsessed by this bloody Actress.... There is a medical prog here in the UK called Casualty and on the progamme there is a Doctor who has just been diagnosied with BP. She was sectioned and it shows you how she feels etc.... they have had her in depressed mode and mania mode. I am now obsessed with her. Argh!!! It's annoying me as I want to talk to her and have been pretending she is with me and we are talking together. Insanity is kicking in I think!! |
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#18
Apr 10, 2011, 06:48 PM
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Quote:
Laura, I could see myself doing the exact same thing as you are doing with that documentary, as I would find the topic fascinating myself. But being that as it may - in that we are both bipolar - do you not think that a lot of "normal" people do the same things, like become obsessed with a particular show? I was nearly going to break the TV on my daughter a few weeks ago, as she insisted on watching this "fat" reality show at the same time every day, the premise being following dramatically obese people losing and battling to overcome weight. My daughter at that time was dieting herself, and trying to lose a lot of weight, so I guess the show related to her. And she could watch the exact same episodes of it over and over! As for me and the music on my ipod; I'll play the same songs which I like over, and over, and over; without EVER getting sick of them. But I do wonder if these things are behaviors which people with no issues do also, and may not be indicative of being manic or anything like that. And the question is, if you like something (such as a show, song or DVD) are you going to STOP doing all that, just because you have a suspicion that it's abnormal? Just for me the answer is probably no. |
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#19
Apr 10, 2011, 07:25 PM
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#20
Apr 10, 2011, 07:26 PM
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Hey Kathleen,
I guess some of the things I have done are "normal" in some sense. I just don't know how to distinguish between me and mania yet. I am guessing this will become so much easier soon. A friend today said I was very manic. Said she could tell by my writing that I was manic. I feel fine. How can someone tell via what I write??? I know I am majorly obsessed with the internet as it's 1:23am and I am WIDE AWAKE and still on here. I guess we all have obsessions and as long as mines don't go ott then I will be fine... I hope!! I guess I needed you guys to help me out as I am not seeing my CPN for another 2 weeks and the last time I saw him was mid March. It feels like I am in a whirlpool of me/thoughts/feelings/notions etc etc!!! Sorry I am just off on a tangent as I have no one to talk to in RL |
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#21
Apr 10, 2011, 07:32 PM
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Hey BNLsMOM,
I do have OCD Tendancies undiagnoised though.... I wish I didn't as I count so much. Hand Soap Pump I have managed to reduce from 15 pumps to 10 but it has took me 3 years to do so. Taking a glass of water from the tap I have to rinse the cup 10 times My Folks more so my Mum has always had a BIG issue with the hand soap and now the glass/tumbler thing. They think I can and need to stop it now. I get more paranoid as I am always concise as to who is around me when I am doing these things. I have been able to learn to cope with my other tendancies and some I have been able to disminish completely. No one knows about my Tendancies well apart from you guys and my Family. Never really came up in convo when I have talked to Psych and CPN |
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#22
Apr 11, 2011, 07:31 PM
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Yeah Laura, y'know one of my daughters are very quick to slap the "manic" brand on me, if I so much as lose my temper; so does that mean that just by virtue of being diagnosed as bipolar, I am less allowed to do that than a "normal" person?
Here is my feeling. It is what it is, and I am who I am. I often have time to sit on my stoop in summer, and if you watched the peculiarities of some so-called "normal" people....well they make me feel pretty normal myself lol! Don't let other people slap that label on you. If you are in control of yourself, and not doing anything completely bizarre and insane (i.e. entering into a manic episode), then I would just accept myself and my little oddities as they are. My therapist told me that bipolar people can be completely free of symptoms for many years; some with medication, and even some without. I happen to be on meds, but was completely functional, normal and productive without them for 13 months as well. So don't worry too much about this; sounds to me that you are just as normal as the next person; except that you do happen to be bipolar. |
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#23
Apr 11, 2011, 07:40 PM
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Thank you Kathleen,
I know.... My Manager did this to me in November told me I was "unstable" cause we had an arguement over my Christmas rota. My GP stated I was fine as did my friends and family. My Manager has made my life hell since my diagnoisis. If you think about it realistically we have probably been symptom free for decades etc I think I had been symptom free for about 8 years. So I know I can be "me" without the symptoms. I just need to keep telling myself that huh!! My friends do think my paranoia stays with me.... I have to agree as I am sitting here paranoid that someone is trying to get into my house. I was shaking. I don't think anyone is but I have all my doors in the house open as my folks are sleeping upstairs so I can shout out to them if people are breaking into my house. There is nothing good about being Bipolar.... nothing I can think of |
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#24
Apr 11, 2011, 08:45 PM
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No, it's no fun granted Laura; if I could reverse the clock on this, and run a thousand miles away from it, I would. There's no point in pretending that it's an optimal situation, except to say that it is what it is, and we just have to try to make the best of it.
But as for your manager, don't let him exploit your situation, as it sounds like that is what he is doing - in essence, playing head games with you. Tell yourself that the problem doesn't lie with you, but really it's all to do with him. So he's the loser here. IMO. |
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#25
Apr 12, 2011, 01:51 PM
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Hey Kathleen,
My Manager is a numpty and that's putting it politely lol!!! I am awaiting to lose my job as that is what they are saying. My Union are like nope not gonna happen but they have had me off since 13th January on "special leave" My Mum said that, that my Manager and Area Manager are playing head games as they had me questioning if I was ok or not. They were saying I talk in 3rd person and am angry etc etc which was not true at all. |
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