[larakeziah]

I feel so alone at the moment. My best and only real friend has fallen out with me because I got so drunk and said some mean things last week, she hasn't spoken to me since. I wrote her a letter and left it on sat morning before i went to my grans. (I live with my friend and her parents) When I returned this evening things were a little better, she thanked me for the letter but she hasn't really talked to me much. I don't have any other friends really. I've been off work for the last 10 months and haven't heard from any of my so-called friends from work. So I don't really have any one. I'm quite close to my sister in law but only see her once every fortnight usually except its been nearly 3 weeks since i've seen her properly so I feel totally alone now. I feel like I'm going insane, I can't think properly and the voices I hear are getting more frequent and less easy to ignore and whereas they've always come from inside my head, now I'm hearing things outside my head and its scaring me a little. Am I going crazy!? I could really do with a friend right now!!

[Side of the Angels]

Hmmmm. I don't THINK ur going crazy... alcohol can cause worsening of any episodes. Alcohol is something we should stay away from altogether. Do you think maybe u have a dependency on alcohol? You definitely need to tell a Doc what happened. asap. I hope all goes well for you. Hang in there doll.

[kathleen slattery]

Lara, maybe you need to talk further with your friend, and let her know how badly this falling out is affecting you; as it doesn't seem like the air has been cleared completely. With the friends from work, maybe it's time for you to reach out to some of them, and get yourself out, so that you are not too overly dependent on this one friend.
Get yourself back to the doctor ASAP about the voices; but try to stay busy as well; as isolation and loneliness are very bad for all people. Good luck; please don't get too down, and try to stay as positive as possible under hard circumstances.

[sugahorse1]

I'm so sorry Lara. Alcohol does often cause issues, especially with us and being on meds.
Well done for writing the letter to your friend. I'm sure it wasn't easy. The friendship will heal over time.
In the mean-time we're here for you

[larakeziah]

Originally Posted by toolesque

Hmmmm. I don't THINK ur going crazy... alcohol can cause worsening of any episodes. Alcohol is something we should stay away from altogether. Do you think maybe u have a dependency on alcohol? You definitely need to tell a Doc what happened. asap. I hope all goes well for you. Hang in there doll.

Thanks toolesque. I told my psychologist last week but I haven't told my CPN yet cos she's not in untill tomorrow. She should have been told about it though. I don't think I'm dependant on alcohol, I don't drink very often but when I do I drink far too much. This is not the first time something like this has happened. Me and drink don't go well together at all but it's difficult to admit that and to not drink

[larakeziah]

Originally Posted by kathleen slattery

Lara, maybe you need to talk further with your friend, and let her know how badly this falling out is affecting you; as it doesn't seem like the air has been cleared completely. With the friends from work, maybe it's time for you to reach out to some of them, and get yourself out, so that you are not too overly dependent on this one friend.
Get yourself back to the doctor ASAP about the voices; but try to stay busy as well; as isolation and loneliness are very bad for all people. Good luck; please don't get too down, and try to stay as positive as possible under hard circumstances.

Thanks Kathleen, my friend and I do need to talk but ist difficult to find the right time. I will speak to my CPN tomorrow and tell her about the voices, she's not in till tomorrow. As for going meeting up with friends from work, thats a little tricky as I can't really go out on my own and I can't use public transport so I have no way of getting to see any of them anyway. I will continue to try and be positive though but it is so difficult when I don't have much to live for

[larakeziah]

Originally Posted by sugahorse

I'm so sorry Lara. Alcohol does often cause issues, especially with us and being on meds.
Well done for writing the letter to your friend. I'm sure it wasn't easy. The friendship will heal over time.
In the mean-time we're here for you

Thanks sugahorse, I appreciate it

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by larakeziah

...I feel like I'm going insane, I can't think properly and the voices I hear are getting more frequent and less easy to ignore and whereas they've always come from inside my head, now I'm hearing things outside my head and its scaring me a little. Am I going crazy!? I could really do with a friend right now!!

Lara, I'm really concerned for you. The blurring of reality with our experiences makes it that much more difficult to build and sustain healthy friendships. You really do need the active support of your therapist and a psychiatrist to help you through this.
Others have raised it, but I'll raise it again - you need to find some way to protect you from your urges to go wild on the alcohol. I know the impulsive feeling of being in the moment and saying I know I shouldn't but what the heck, and just going flat out on whatever you know is destructive.
It is going to take a lot more than just personal determination to overcome that one.

Holding both thumbs and big toes for you.

Peter

[Anneinside]

Like you, I stopped working and none of my friends from work ever contacted me. Later I realized that we were "work friends" and only socialized at work, so it really was to be expected (even though I didn't). Perhaps the friends you have are work friends only. Once you are gone and replaced, life goes on for them as it does for you. If you didn't have a relationship outside of work then it is not surprising that the friendships haven't continued.

I have contacted one of my work friends and had a couple of lunches with him in the last few years. However, he has never contacted me and it has been at least a year since I last saw him. There really isn't much to talk about as we typically discussed topics related to work.

It is time to find friends outside of work life.

[sugahorse1]

Yup; we spend so many hours at work, that there's little time for real socialising or meeting people.

PC is my social platform

[larakeziah]

Its difficult because some of them I've known for years and we did socialise outside of work. One of the girls I've known for over 10yrs! It really upset me that none of them have bothered to see how I am. I don't have any other friends and no way of getting any new ones.