[Secretum]

Hi everyone,

I am a college freshman who has dealt with mental health issues for many years, but only recently sought treatment due to an increase in symptom severity and associated level of life difficulty. I have seen a therapist since February, and also have had a psychiatric consultation. The consultation resulted in my being provisionally diagnosed with bipolar II.

The psychiatrist did not want to start me on meds now, since finals are so close and dealing with potential side effects would be stressful and cause more harm than good. She did insist, however, that I find another pdoc at home this summer, to get a second opinion and to start treatment.

My parents know next to nothing about my mental health struggle, but I do not want to hide from them any longer. I feel that their support would be very helpful in my recovery, while sneaking around to get treatment would be detrimental.

The only problem is that my parents will likely have one of two undesirable, extreme reactions:

1. They will think that I am exaggerating my symptoms or lying about my pain.

2. They will believe me, but fail to understand that BP is manageable. They will react with panic, and smother me with unneeded attention and concern.

I plan to read a few entries from my mood journal (*so scared*) to combat response # 1, and to really stress the possibility of living a full life with bipolar to fight response #2.

Does anyone have any other advice/suggestions? How did you all inform your families about your disorder? Thanks!

[Emotionally Dead]

Well, I have kept most of my disorders and things secret to my family. Though I am not around my parents anymore and am only around my grandparents.

I guess all I can tell you is to be open and honest with them. If you speak from the heart and tell them everything you know about your condition and how you plan to control it, they should understand. However, it might be best to wait until after you start getting treatment that way you can let them know more information about what you're going through. It's good to be open with your family about the things you're going through and I wish I felt comfortable enough to do that with my family.

Wishing you the best,

[Confusedinomicon]

If your parents are paying the bills so you can see the therapist and pdoc tell them. There are books available that are listed in the recommendation section that you can buy at the local bookstore, and it can become a learning experience for you and your parents. If you really need a second opinion and would like to start treatment over the summer, tell them, unless you are on a separate insurance plan and you work and pay for all of this yourself.

You don't need to tell them everything that is going on in your life, but I am sure they would appreciate if you explained why you need a second opinion and if they'd take those steps with you.

[rainingstarfire]

So weird.... I just had to deal with this very same issue, only farther down the road. I was diagnosed with BPII in college as well. I decided to tell my family about my diagnosis but keep it really general, as my relationship with my parents is far from healthy and ideal. I eventually moved across the country, which made it even easier to hide symptoms (including self-injury) from them. Last week (ten years and many ups and downs later), I did some hospital time on suicide watch. After being off the radar for six days with no explanation, there was nothing I could do but tell my mom what was happening.
I wish my experience came with some kind of insight or advice. It was basically non-eventful compared to all the other stuff that happened in the psych ward. My mom is in her mixed state of lots of questions and denial (in ten years, you'd think they'd at least do a google search on BP?!), and I'm still glad for the cross-country buffer so i don't actually have to see her. But the reaction wasn't as difficult as I expected, either.
I pray everything works out for you... the bottom line is that you can't do this alone. You need support- whether from family or really close friends.

Sending hugs your way!

[mgran]

I told my Dad's wife first about my diagnoses, and she was very helpful, and broke the news to my Dad. But I wish in a way I'd waited a bit before I said anything, because my diagnoses was later refined to schizoaffective disorder, which was very disconcerting. I was able to explain it to my brother, but if my Dad found out the diagnoses had changed he'd almost certainly think I'd been lying to him, or exagerating to get attention, or something.

So my Dad and his wife think I suffer from BPII, while my brother is aware of the full diagnoses.

In a way you have to think to yourself, does the exact diagnoses matter? You're still the you you've always been, only now you have a label or a language which you can use to communicate to others how you've always been. That's actually a good thing. Explain to your parents in writing, if you have to, and don't put too much emphasis on the name of your diagnoses (since as in my case it might be redefined later.) Just let them know that you've been struggling, you took action to get help, and are now beginning to cope with the help of medical professionals.

Personally, I think you should be proud of yourself for facing up to your problems as soon as you have. I waited about twenty years before I had to admit the problem. By facing this early on in life you're really maximising your chances of making a good and affective recovery.

[ladyjrnlist]

You could always take them with you to pdoc and have him/her help explain the illness and what you need from your parents.