[SoupDragon]

I have come to the conclusion that I might experience emotions more intensely than others. If I am hurt emotionally I do feel it as a real physical pain and plunge to the depths of despair. I felt like this yesterday and for a while felt absolutely hopeless and sort of spaced out. However I have had some good news today and initially felt disbelief and now a sense of confusion trying to take in the news - I feel stunned and almost overwhlemed to the point that I also feel a bit numb - not sure if I am making much sense here...

I had been reading about the intense feelings that those with borderline personality disorder experience, but am also wondering whether these overwhelming feelings can also be experienced by people with bipolar.

Would be grateful to hear about anyone elses experiences.

[DivorcedWoman]

My new counselor recently told me she feels that I am a highly sensitive person and that because of it I feel things more intensely than others. From what I've read on bipolar though it does seem that many BPs also feel things strongly too so it could be one or both for you. There is plenty of information on Google on HSPs and my counselor also recommended I read a book on it which was really good and helpful. It didn't necessarily describe me to a T but there were a lot of things in there that described me.

I was having a little breakdown the other day but didn't feel that my mood was high or low. My boyfriend of 9 months said it was the bipolar and I said I don't think so. When I did talk to my counselor about it she felt the situation and response was related to my HSP.

I also have been working with a career counselor the past few months. I took the Myers-Briggs test and we are going through the analysis right now. When I was in college I was an ENFJ. E stands for Extrovert and I always did feel that way in the past, but through my journey and discussing the differences and extroversion versus introversion I definitely feel I am an introvert. I don't know where you are at on that spectrum but there's a possibility that some of your emotions/feelings could have to do with that as well.

Of course, I'm just trying to throw a bunch of things out there for you. We are quite complex beings and being BP doesn't help, but there is a lot more to us than the BP diagnosis like Family of Origin stuff, etc.

Hope this was helpful.

[SoupDragon]

Thank-you for that - it was really helpful. I am reluctant to see a medical doctor to get a diagnosis, but at the same time it would be nice to know what is going on for me. I am not on any medication and have been really struggling with my mood for a good few years - at least if I could pin my experiences on a label it could explain why this awfulness has been hanging around me for so long - had been hoping for a quick fix when I first started therapy. Thanks again.

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

...I had been reading about the intense feelings that those with borderline personality disorder experience, but am also wondering whether these overwhelming feelings can also be experienced by people with bipolar.

Sure do, SoupDragon. Feelings way too intense for many other people to relate to. In fact it makes me feel somewhat of an outcast and isolated - not because people shun me, but because they think I overreact or make too big a deal about some things. E.g. I can get swept away by music or so irritated by it that I have to turn it off. Smells or sounds can affect me strongly.

I have become very particular about my coffee because the taste and smell can make it feel terrible and undrinkable through to ecstatically delicious.

It can be really difficult not to take things personally - especially when I'm manic or depressed. Someone will say to me "its no big deal" but it is a big deal - at the time, the whole world's survival hinges on that one little point. It becomes a fundamental principle, and not just about the specific issue being disagreed on. It takes a tremendous amount of emotional energy to back off and let things go sometimes.

At a music therapy group session a few days ago, one of the participants wanted to know why I felt so vulnerable about music. It turns out he experiences intense rage, and music of certain forceful types can trigger him. The group discussed it, and it seems that most of us there were strongly emotionally influenced by music.

[SoupDragon]

Thank-you for sharing your experiences Tsunamisurfer. Reading your post it has dawned on me that I can feel overwhlemed by certain things, both in terms of feeling tearful (a couple that spring to mind are being in chuirches, when watching TV shows where someone has done well in a talent contest, being in a Theatre and watching a live show/concert) and also irritated about some things (can't bear the sound of people chewing, or drinking, the feelings can become so intense that I have to cover my ears or leave the room).

I am finding it difficult to unravel everything as I have had some pretty awful life events too, so not sure whether my current difficulties are best explained by exposure to these events or my reaction to them because I have an undiagnosed underlying mental health problem.

I tell myself that it doesn't matter which explaination fits best. How I think and feel right now is the important thing and the work on controliing my thoughts and feelings wouldn't change even if I did have a label. I am just trying to make sense of myself though.

[blueoctober]

I'm a highly sensitive person and at times my feelings can be very intense. One thing that I find with BP is my mood often doesn't match with what's going on in my life. For instance great things can happen and if I'm depressed it won't bring me any joy. When I'm too high and in a "happy high" everything seems great even if my situation is less than ideal.

From what I've read borderline personality disorder moods tend to be more reactive to what's going on around them.

[pondbc]

Yes, I can identify with what you are saying. I am very emotional and tears are often triggered. National anthem, seeing Christ in the faces of children, seeing kindness and gentleness done to others. Also irritated by little noises, as you say. Have to have it dead silent for studying, etc.
Feel music extremely intensely, sort of in the upper abdomen (I know that sounds weird!). As a teenager I used to play for hours on end and it was a huge emotional outlet. Don't do it now because of anhedonia and back surgery so I can't sit long. But all that emotional power is still there, and I feel like an unexploded bomb.
Everybody says I am hypersensitive, and that I also take on other people's problems and identify with them/worry about them.
I think the strength of feelings is the upside of BP and the oversensitivity is the downside. It certainly would be easier at times to be 'normal' and 'thick-skinned'.

[SoupDragon]

Thanks harrietgate for sharing your experiences too. I can so relate to things that have been shared by everyone. I have avoided formal diagnosis for lots of reasons, but am now wondering whether that is something I should explore - it's all a bit scarey though.