[mrcherryred87]

This weekend has been the worse one I've had in quite awhile. Saturday my girlfriend (who is bipolar) and myself (who has depression) were supposed to have a weekend just the two of us. My gf's mom watched her son so we could spend some time working on our relationship. Everything started off well and then we started talking about everything. It was actually a really good conversation and we talked about how much the relationship meant to both of us. I found out a lot of the feelings I've felt with my depression my gf has felt with the bipolar. The only problem was when we got done talking about it she said she wanted to go home. The conversation just got her to thinking and she just wanted to shut down. Of coarse I didn't deal to well with this, I felt like she just didn't want to be with me. Looking back on it I think she just needed some time to herself. I'm really worried about her because I think she's giving up and letting the bipolar win. What sucks is I know there is nothing I can do to help her out since it's something she has to deal with.

Unfortunately this has triggered my depression big time. After she left I stayed up most of the night watching movies. Today I just laid on the coach all day and didn't want to get up. I didn't even want to get up to make something to eat. I was going to go out and get takeout but I just didn't want to leave the coach. I've seen to have moved from the coach to my bed but to be honest I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I'm really thinking about calling in. I know I shouldn't be like this and giving up isn't going to solve anything. I kind of feel like if she doesn't are than I just don't care right now either.