[ScooterBug]

So this really has nothing to do with BP or symptoms, but I need to vent:

My sister and I are extremely close. We tell each other everything and we've never been judgmental or pushy.

My sister has the type of personality that if she feels you're telling her what to do or trying to control her, she will do the opposite of what you are saying and dismiss you even if you make perfect sense.

We have a little brother who is like a son to us. Between the two of us we raised him.

My sister, now recently divorced, met my brother's band director and even though he is in a serious relationship had an intimate relationship with him. This would not matter to me if it was not something that could eventually come back to hurt our brother.

The director's girlfriend and her family are very involved with the band and actually paid out of their pockets for my brother's membership fee (700.00) since he can't work, my mom is disabled, and my dad was laid off.

I warned my sister that yes, she slept with him and the damage was done ... but that it would be wise to stop communicating with the guy. He is always at his girlfriend's house and with the family. He is also much much younger than my sister and immature. He told his boss about the intimacy with my sister.

It's not like my sister wants a relationship with the guy, but she enjoys stimulating conversations and being able to "help" this guy with his family issues.

If that guy's girlfriend or her family finds out about their intimacy, my brother is the one who will get the blunt of the pain and he is innocent!! He can get kicked out of the band, he can be asked to pay back the 700.00, he can have the band members look at him differently and make his time there uncomfortable.

I told all this to my sister and now she feels like I am judging her and that I am overstepping my boundaries. She is really mad at me now and refuses to talk to me.

This whole situation is depressing me. My sister is my best friend and my rock. When I have any type of issue I could always count on her and vice-versa. Now I feel like I screwed up and should have minded my business.

Sorry for the rant ... but I needed to let it out ... Thanks for reading.

[dragonfly2]

Sorry you're having such a rough time with your sister. I can understand how it must hurt to have a close relationship feel jeopardized.

As for overstepping your bounds...hmmm... If this didn't possibly ultimately affect your brother, then it is something that might be a little off limits. But it has the potential to affect your brother, so it is your business since you have his best interests to consider. I would, however, hope that even if the girlfriend found out, she would understand that it's not your brother's fault and that it would be out of line for him to be penalized for her boyfriend's and your sister's transgression. I do think that your sister needs to back off though, before making matters worse.

I wish I could offer you some sort of help about how to mend things with your sister. I don't have much of a relationship with my sisters, so I'm at a bit of a loss there.

I hope things work out well for you and your family.

(((scooterbug)))

I have two sisters. I am really close with both however one for some reasons wiill start a huge fight with one if us, resulting in no contact, sometimes for months. I'm sorry your going through this, I know how it feels especially when it's also like a best friend.

Maybe after your sister cools down she will be more receptive to talking. If so then you can reassure her that you are not judging her, that you only are concerned for your brother and possible hardship for him.

Your heart was in the right place and hopefully your sister will see this too.

((((hugs))))

I think you did the right thing with being honest with her about how you feel. You are trying to protect your brother. Maybe she got so upset because she realizes you're right. Hopefully when she calms down she will see that. I hope you feel better and the two of you work this out

[cheeri]

The good thing about sisters and family is that you can trust it will all pass. I would imagine your sister is well aware of the potential consequences and feels the guilt and fear. Your comments were nothing new to her. As we know with BP, we sometimes get ourselves into sticky situations and need a loving, patient approach to gain the strength and wisdom to get out. Help her create an action plan....get involved in an organization to meet new (single) men, join and attend meetup.com events, etc. It's not at all too late to help her make a good decision and get your relationship back on track.

What do you think?

[ScooterBug]

Well ... she finally called me and agreed I was right ... I am just glad we didn't go beyond 24 hrs of not speaking ... it was torture!!!

Scooterbug, glad to hear that!