[Simply_Orange]

Do you ever feel like it's just a bad terrible day? Or have alot of stress? I am having issues in my sexual realtionship (put shortly seems I might not be gf material which is really lowering my low self-steem). Things are changing and not going well at work. I am distracted and although generally clumsy spilling more/running into stuff/forgetting things. When things are going bad like this I think I just want to die it's too much stress to deal with. This is not a normal thing; is it? (Only normal for a mentally ill person.)
I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how to deal with the stress?
I am taking a med for anxiety and know about deep breathing but I just wish there was more I could do. It's just so frustating and feeling helpless oi!

Aww, that is a lot going on. I feel like often when things feel like they are crumbling all around me. I'm not sure if "normal" people feel this way in response to stress, but I think that probably some do.

I don't know the details of your relationship, but did you ever just think, 'hey I am girlfriend material, maybe he's not boyfriend material for me'. This really helps in some situations. And as much as I think I'm the 'problem' a lot of times it really isn't true.

You try to take stress, when it's piled up, and just focus on one at a time and not looks at all the stresses all at once. It seems a lot more manageable when broken down. I also remind myself a LOT that this too will pass.

I also like to tell myself that right before great things happen there is usually a lot of roadblocks and mountains to climb. I do that because it seems at least for me to be true. So I'm just climbing for better things to come.

[madisgram]

see my thread in anxiety forum. hope it gives you some helpful tools.

[Direction]

I struggle with emotional intensity...so stress really makes my mood go over the place. Funny you should bring this topic up...we just started a new unit in group with the topic of stress...

Were we are heading...

Step 1: Get the facts. Many people feel overwhelmed when under stress because they have difficulting trimming a problem down to manageable proportions. We begin by identifying a specific, concrete, and realistic problem situation.

Step 2: Explore and learn a promising coping skill. (Most of what we will be discussing is in this step

Step 3: Put your coping skills to use...and try again. Once you have mastered a set of coping skills, you are ready to try them out in your problem situation. Don't expect perfection. You may well fail or succeed partially. If so, learn from your mistakes and look for more coping skills to add in your repertoire.

So I'm really looking forward to this month's topic...very timely for me as I had over that last 5 days stressful situation on top of stressful situation hit me.

[kaliope]

Orange
You have stated the key that works for me. When I get overwhemled and frustrated and all those old, unhealthy thoughts start breaking into my mind, I become very self-critical. And I do start comparing myself to other people who seem to be able to keep themselves togehter while i seem to fall apart over the littlist things. But u know what, I am not wired the same way as they are. The abuses in my life, the mental illnes I have has tweaked my brain to work a bit differently. So when you say "This is not a normal thing; is it? (Only normal for a mentally ill person.)" you are right on target. It is normal for you. This is the way you function. Maybe not how others in society function, they may do things a lot quicker, with a lot less emotion. but me, my buttons are pushed, im overreactive, it doesnt seem realistic that i should feel this way but I have learned this is how I function. And when I finally remember that, all the anxiety I had over the situation dissolves because I am right where I should be. I am being "normal for me" and when i accept this I am then able to move on in the situation and make healthier decisions.

[Simply_Orange]

I don't know the details of your relationship, but did you ever just think, 'hey I am girlfriend material, maybe he's not boyfriend material for me'. This really helps in some situations. And as much as I think I'm the 'problem' a lot of times it really isn't true.
I also like to tell myself that right before great things happen there is usually a lot of roadblocks and mountains to climb. I do that because it seems at least for me to be true. So I'm just climbing for better things to come.

Thanks that is Really helpful! Maybe he's just not bf material for me. Although sometimes thinking that I'm not good enough for him makes me feel like I am not good enough for anyone else either. Negitive thoughts are so easy to come by when in a low mood.

Yeah the negative thoughts Uggh. Sounds silly but when I'm really low I'll watch "the secret". It really helps me shift my thoughts, works for my youngest son too. I had a breakup with my long term boyfriend shortly after I got out of the hospital. And everyone swore is was my episode or medication causing me to breakup with him "my problem". Fact of the matter is we were having a lot of other problems, and getting that sick caused me to look at these problems instead of ignoring them. We're back together now and he's dealing with my illness and other things a lot better. It took a lot for me to take those steps tho and say "hey I am not happy and I do deserved this this and this". Instead of always being like "I'm so lucky to have anyone". Now I am lucky to have him, and I also feel like I deserve someone great, instead of feeling like a burden. And of coarse some of our problems are mine as well, but at least I got my self back to feeling worthy of good things.

Once those thoughts creep in and take over I think other people can see it too and on a subconscious level they act according to the signal we're sending. Maybe not all people but a lot do. Anyways good luck, I hope your feeling a bit better