Well the physical symptoms of depression have been around for a few weeks now but alas the abyss of emotional pain has consumed me. I am having to battle hard to survive the negative thoughts. My sunny disposition has turned into the gloom of deep despair. I would like to go to the hospital, for one I don't think my meds are right because they don't seem to be helping me at all and for 2 because I need a break from my life. However it's simply not an option for me. I cannot afford for my animals to go to a care center while I am away. I guess I just have to suffer through this as I always have. Feeling so alone I can't go on though I am not in reality alone. I hate these feelings so much. Anyone have any advice to share as to how they handle these times and manage to muddle through?

[Forgive77]

Because I have BPD too I don't think I ever really have learned how to cope....I just brace myself and hold on. The best I can do when I have those thoughts is yell bleh, and shake it off, and know the really bad part of it will go away...then I'll be stuck in upper level depression for a while, which is a little easier. Not fun...a lot of work...but better than utter despair.

DobieLuv! Sorry I don't have any advice really, as I've fallen into the abyss and am struggling desperately hard too. Just want to let you know that you're not alone. Hope others whose rational brains are still on speaking terms with them will be able to help you, my dear friend.

Innerzone, it feels good to know I am not in this battle alone. Though I wish I were alone in it as no one should have to go through this. I hope we won't be stuck in this dreadful abyss for very long.....} fingers crossed {.
Thank you so much for taking a moment to wish me well. I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. I guess we are both struggling right now. Be extra good to yourself. So glad to have you for my friend.

Forgive77,
I pretty much handle it the same way you do then...lol. Brace myself, hold on for dear life and hope it's a short ride. I have dealt with everything as best I can to try not to let depression get the best of me by using my coping skills. I'm too deep in now so I will just have to hang in there. Thank you for your reply though. It is nice to know when I reach out to others that they are there.

[sugahorse1]

You need to touch bases with some close friends and try use them to distract you. It's hard to get up initially, but it does get easier. You need to motivate yourself to do something. I'd suggest going for coffee with friends, going shopping, tending to the animals.
If nothing else, hold on to the reality that your animals need you. You are holding things together for the sake of the animals.
Can your pdoc help you to change your meds slowly as an outpatient?

Sugahorse, Thank you for your input. I have put in a call to my pdoc and it fell before weekend and here it is Monday and I haven't heard anything. They will probably call me tomorrow, if not I will call and leave another message with the nurse. Getting out of the house is a complex issue so I won't go into all of that here. I just have to muddle through and like you said look after my animals and hang in there for them and my hubby.

[sugahorse1]

Glad to here you're hanging in there. I agree that you need to follow up with your pdoc for him to help you. You also need to keep forcing yourself to get around do things-it will get easier and you will receive immense satisfaction from having completed something rewarding

[wing]

I try to make sure I at least get a shower and brush my teeth. I remind myself that like all things bipolar, it will change soon enough. And yes, there's always the need for a med change if it lasts too long.