[aeylania]

Hey guys, I recently posted about what to do about a bad friend, and after taking an objective look I realized that she was bad news, manipulative, and abusive. This was really hard for me to accept because we've been friends for so long, so I wrote a couple poems that helped me deal and I wanted to share them. I'm a little rusty at writing poetry as I haven't done it in about five or six years- maybe more. Let me know what you think:

I sit alone and leak a tear
The hole you leave is always near.
A sister, you were, and always there
But in the end, did you truly care?

Remember when you soothed my fears?
Held me close, and wiped my tears?
Was it all a façade, a means to an end?
Or did you truly think I was your friend?

I weep now, drifting further into the blue,
Impossible to see what's right and true.
So many times you held my hand
While I stayed oblivious to what you planned.

You twisted me ‘round ‘til I did what you said,
You were fully aware that my spirit was dead.
But now I can see what is left of your heart,
And I understand now that manipulation’s your art.

If what we had ever was real
Hurting me would have no appeal.
You feast on my misery, devour my pain.
You love it when my head’s full of rain.

No longer will I dance to your song,
Be convinced that I’m evil, crazy, or wrong.
My life belongs now only to me,
The chains are broken and I am completely free.


The other one I wrote is a little different, but same theme:

As close as a sister
We shared every whisper
But hiding inside
A demonic trickster

Pretending emotion
As deep as an ocean
Silently laughing
Your plan is in motion

Whispering lies
With glittering eyes
Erasing all will
My good judgment dies

Blinding my sight
While feeding me fright
Holding me down
To extinguish my light

Always degrading
Always invading
Chipping away
My self esteem fading

Until I do
What you want me to
Raging inside
Enslaved only to you

Though eventually
I become free
These scars I will carry
Eternally

[Ryask]

very nice, what a perfect outlet good for you.

[OneDown]

Very nice! I know some others who write poetry about being BP - it really is a great and helpful outlet and can really help you work through what you are feeling.

[SunAngel]

Great poems. I am also a poem writer and it does get out what you are feeling.

Great Job!

[aeylania]

Thanks everyone! I really haven't written any poetry in a long time so its nice to get some positive feedback. I may start writing some more as it really is therapeutic.

I was talking to my husband about some of the things she did/said to me, and he was just horrified. Apparently I've been the victim of abuse for 13 years and I didn't even realize just how bad it was getting. I'm so glad I'm out now, I just have to take solace in the fact that she can't hurt me anymore.

[widgets]

I really like the first one, i dont relate to it, but it made me really feel how you must have felt.
Its brilliant!!! If write any more, post them!!

Aeylania: I was in the same exact situation with my friend of 11, almost 12, years. I sat there & took it for various reasons. Though she was a harsh personality, I knew she was misguided & needed someone to trust as much as I needed the stability of a close friendship. Not to mention she was my only way of not being homeless for 2 1/2 of those years, so I couldn't cut it off then. But after meeting my boyfriend & realizing what a healthy friendship was, I cut her the **** off before she could do any more harm to me. If she wants to self-destruct & bring everyone around down with her, fine, but I'm not going to subject myself to that.

Your poetry is good! I've been writing for a couple years now, but have had a horrible writer's block since last December. As my cognition has slipped, as well as my access to marijuana, so has my writing ability. But hopefully the block goes away soon. Keep up your writing while you still feel inspired!!

[aeylania]

Thanks for the feedback, Widgets and Shayatanica! I will post more if I write more

[zbmom]

I think you did a good job of expressing your emotions and telling your story. I've been getting back into poetry after several years absence too. I think it's a good outlet.