[venusss]

I been away from home for a while... i have been away from internet for some time, down there in southern albania... got lot to think about.

talked to people, to the foreigners I met... to realize I am not alone. Apparently, Albania is a good hideaway... met many escapists. But can we really run forever? Is going to Albania... or India or wherever even a solution? so we sleep a little, drink a lot, ponder about life as we discover new places and learn new things... we grow cynical on our journeys. we never blend in, even when we come back home, because we don't belong anywhere.

I thought I could look for omens here... maybe i saw some, but I still don't know where to go next. what to do with my life.

I heard a term "waiting" for the period of life when you are waiting for omen that would tell you what to do next. I guess I am waiting. I hope not to be waiting my whole life.

But I guess I lost some of that idealism that would drive me forward during this summer. With cynicism and toughness I can prevail... but what for? I still wanna do something for the world, but it feels like rebelling against the fate lately.

I will see. I am still in ALbania and time flows here differently. Somehow slower... or faster at times... undefined. For now I will soak in the energies, experiences and listen to more stories... than I will decide. I am waiting.

[venusss]

in berat... maybe i found my place where life is simple and pure...and people are nice?

whom am I kidding? few days i will be ready to go elsewhere. I am the happiest on the road from point A to point B.

[Confusedinomicon]

Hell, you're still young Venus. May as well take advantage of those opportunities to travel !

It's good to see you're doing well, though.

[SunAngel]

I find you very intriging (sp).

I would love to be able to travel all the time to different countries, and have the freedom to do so.

I find you to be so freakin' gutsy and I think that's so awesome.

[venusss]

one has the freedom to travel... unless you are from some country with undesirated status. this is not the 1960s anymore... but one can get by. In Albania it is still possible to work for bed and food in the newly opened hostels. Or you go volunteering. Apparently, with enough qualifications and guts one can go to Jersalem for example and knock on the door of UN and announce them *I am here to work for you*. Met a girl who done it. Before she went onto another adventure as there were more places to see and save...

[ladyjrnlist]

Venus, the world can be changed but it has to be done in small steps. Don't look at the big picture too long or it will consume you. Find what you can do and do it. I know you are going to make big changes soon in the world. You are a thinker and a doer and that's a rare combination in many cases.
I have missed you, my friend.

[venusss]

okay... so I am in Pristina, Kosovo/a right now. This is not even traveling anymore, this is emotional masochism. I knew it is gonna feel strange. I am not the type who can go to countries like it was a freak show... so this strange surreal town is taking toll on me a bit. I feel I should not be a tourist here... rather a nation builder or something here. It feel inappropriate. Funny at times when they ask me if I am American... they still like Americans here. People are friendly... sure.

But the atmosphere is... surreal at its best. Unlike Berat and places in Albania, Pristina is not a pretty place. I was not looking for that either when I came. I guess I just sought some rawness and dark side of the life.

SO I am in very thinking mood... trying to overthink too much (and not to see UCK fighter in every waiter in coffee... but on the other hand... wouldn|t it be cool to have ex-UCK prepare my cafe frappe? ).

life is a strange thing.

[roads]

Hi, VenusHalley, I've been on PC only a few days, noticed the Krishnamurt quote in your sig. You gotta belly laugh with, "this is not the 1960s anymore... but one can get by." I tramped all over eastern, western, and central Europe in the sixties & seventies. China, India, Tibet, Japan, Bhutan--you really could go anywhere, if you spoke some semblance of the language & traveled with natives.

Advice froma Sixties Geezer
Stay in touch with the people as much as you can, journal journal journal
& keep them forever, tuck moments into memory.

It's all the little things from those wonderful times of being fully alive & making a difference to many people in infinity tiny, tiny ways that keeps me going today. Now I can't do much of anything for anyone, including for myself but memories tell me I've earned a place still on this tired old globe.

Enjoy your youth, share it, do all the small, itsy miracles for others you can cram into a day. Shalom.