[manicminer]

The title is a great country song about pro bull riding. I just got my finger smashed and it hurts like hell, but I'm enjoying it.
In highschool and college I found myself engaging in high risk behavior in what seemed like an attempt to get hurt. And it was all to feel a pain greater than what I was goin through emotionally. To get sweet release from the demons in my head.
I polevaulted in highschool and wanted nothing more than to snap a pole. One meet I ended up going straight up and coming straight back down, falling 12 feet and landing on my butt in the metal box. I just got back up and took two more jumps like nothing had happened.
I picked up bull riding in college and got injured a lot: dislocated shoulder, my leg stepped on, bad concussion and neck trauma. We used to play with fire and dance inside bonfires for fun.
At one point I had just had a bad concussion and then redislocated my shoulder. This led to binge drinking and the pain coupled with drunken mania sent me full blown manic and I ended up in the hospital. But I enjoyed my stay there.
I've also always been a fan of the pinch of a needle stick. I found sweet release in getting tatoos because while the artist is poking away, all I feel is that needle and nothing else. It's a truely amazing feeling. I even become sexually aroused to some forms of pain.
However, I've never intentionally hurt myself, that would be too easy.

Anybody else get off on the pain?

[sugahorse1]

There's a whole forum that focuses on this; have a look there and you'll be able to find plenty other people that go through this.

Ultimately it is not healthy though. You are using one form of pain to mask another. You need to try and eliminate the initial pain.
Hurting yourself is dangerous too, as you may not be able to control matters and go over the top. When you are driven by strong emotions, logic tends to take a back seat.
I have done similar to what you are talking about, and always feel much worse afterwards. You are currently putting yourself into positions where you could get hurt-this is 'intentionally' hurting yourself. As humans, we have a natural sense of self-preservation.

[manicminer]

Do you know the name of said forum?

[sugahorse1]

It's about 10 forums down from the BP one. Look for SI

[SunAngel]

Originally Posted by manicminer

The title is a great country song about pro bull riding. I just got my finger smashed and it hurts like hell, but I'm enjoying it.
In highschool and college I found myself engaging in high risk behavior in what seemed like an attempt to get hurt. And it was all to feel a pain greater than what I was goin through emotionally. To get sweet release from the demons in my head.
I polevaulted in highschool and wanted nothing more than to snap a pole. One meet I ended up going straight up and coming straight back down, falling 12 feet and landing on my butt in the metal box. I just got back up and took two more jumps like nothing had happened.
I picked up bull riding in college and got injured a lot: dislocated shoulder, my leg stepped on, bad concussion and neck trauma. We used to play with fire and dance inside bonfires for fun.
At one point I had just had a bad concussion and then redislocated my shoulder. This led to binge drinking and the pain coupled with drunken mania sent me full blown manic and I ended up in the hospital. But I enjoyed my stay there.
I've also always been a fan of the pinch of a needle stick. I found sweet release in getting tatoos because while the artist is poking away, all I feel is that needle and nothing else. It's a truely amazing feeling. I even become sexually aroused to some forms of pain.
However, I've never intentionally hurt myself, that would be too easy.

Anybody else get off on the pain?

I have chronic pain and I do not get off on it. However, if you are sexually aroused by it, post it in the Sexual Issues forum because there is information available on BDSM that you may find interesting.

There are also sites you can sign up for online for BDSM, like BDSM.com or Alt.com. They are personals for people to get together for this type of thing who get sexually aroused by pain.

I'm a little late to the party here (having been distracted for 2 days) but figured I'd state my piece, since I'm on both sides of the fence here!
I have had chronic pain from my RA since I was about 13 though my pain attacks go back to when I was 4 & I've also always been very prone to migraines. That pain is ****ing fierce & I certainly don't think I could get off on it, no matter how many incentives I am given!
However... I'm also one of those types that is "into" pain. I used to SI for stimulation from boredom & only later realized it was sexual... Was in many relationships revolving around that lifestyle.
Honestly though? If it's a destructive problem for you, whether you are self-realizing of this or not, there are some inner demons you are just masking that could be dealt with in a non-harmful way. You could potentially cause yourself psychological trauma because, on one hand, you like the pain; but on another, your psyche still associates pain with negativity... Causing a great deal of harm to yourself. Beyond what you are attempting to mask.
But if you can come to terms with yourself & still find it gratifying, there is no shame in your preferences! I found that my case was just a little bit of each. It's become a lot less prevalent in my life over the past year or so. Especially since I've gotten a grip on my inner chaos. : )

Fetlife.com is another good one. It's a no pay site, as well.