[Starchild3]

Now that I know what is going on with me I want to talk to people.. Do you tell people that you have BP? I want to but I'm scared people will think bad things about me (one of my issues anyway)

Do you go back in your head an re-live experiences and realize you should have known? At first I didn't believe I really had this but now looking back I have had classic signs for awhile.

[BlackPup]

I tell people... but thats just me, there are pros and cons each way. Its hard to tell people that mean a lot to you and that might judge you harshly, and employers might discriminate, for me I take that risk and live with it. My friends and families responses have been mainly good but others on this site have experienced hurt and rejection and discrimination because of disclosure - so think about it before you tell people and be prepared that you may get a bad response.
In the end, I think its hard to have meaningful relationships if people don't know about a really big and important part of your life.
Totally get you on the second point!!!! I should have known.... and so should my doctors... live and learn.... 7 years of incorrect treatment...

the beginning can be a bit hard, coming to terms with it and getting a meds combo that works without nasty side effects... good luck on your journey

[Moose72]

The more time that goes by the more that I can see what is "me" and what is the bipolar and what is overlapping. I have told close friends. Telling employers outright, I don't see the need, unless I have an episode.

I am a very open person, so I am totally open with things that some might be reluctant to talk about. I have no issue mentioning my Bipolar, and 99% of the time I get a positive or neutral reaction. Rarely do I get a negative reaction, and these are from ignorant and rude individuals.

I felt guilt when I was first diagnosed - especially because it was after a major manic episode where I had hurt those around me emotionally. I had paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations, and affected those closest to me in a negative way. Afterwards I felt like I should have been able to "control myself", that I should have "seen it coming". But I eventually came to terms with the fact that I would never have been able to see it coming - I mean, that was basically psychosis! I was literally "out of my mind", so to speak.

Now that I have some experience with this, I can see the warning signs of an upcoming manic episode or depressive episode, and act accordingly. But I have learned to let go of the past and act on the present moment - because that is what truly counts.

[manicminer]

When I was first dx'd in the hospital, i started thinking back on past experiences and had the epiphany of "it all makes sense now". I tell people now that either ask, or I feel should know for fear that they'll start talking behind my back or start asking questions later. just like to clear the air with people about why i act the way i do

[MissMay1977]

I don't share with people my diagnosis but people that know me well know that I have " energy shifts." Most people have accepted that pretty well.

I only disclose with my family and very close friends. I have had an seen bad responses to telling the truth. Once I was dx for the second time everything started making sense. I was dx at 17 and in denial of that for ten years. Finally at 27 I was in a place where I could handle the diagnoses. Five years later and I am still working on acceptance.

[venusss]

I prefer not talk about my health issues with people. It is one of my pet peeves when people do it. You know when some elderly woman sits next to you in train and talks of her health problems, her meds and her surgeries. Gawd, I would feel like that if I was talking about my BP all the time. I only tell when it is relavent (which hardly ever is... my close friends and my mother know... the rest don't).

[Beezup2]

Like others I told only close family and friends at first...but then I had more of an awakening and don't really cares who knows - I mean, it's why I'm on SSDI at an earlier age. And it is who I am, so this has been freeing even with some consequences.

BUT either way, it's often uncomfortable for all and yes, I'm regretting it at times, even losing a friend of 10 years almost immediately. When I worked and had 5 hospitalizations in 7 years, people were so nice - but AWFUL CURIOUS since the stays were long. So I just said it was stress (true) or tweaking my diabetes, which they seemed to accept. Find out and do whatever works for you. It may take testing the waters. It's just hard to predict how everyone are going to react.

As for the journey, I had some problems reckonciling past and present knowledge. I remind myself that a hallmark symptom of BP, however, is poor judgement and not having good self-awareness. So how can I blame myself for not catching my "bipolarness" along the way?

[charlene323]

I have been diagnosed for about a month now. I've told close family and friends and as a result, some of my family are not comfortable around me anymore, and I have lost the only friend I have. I have a problem accepting it, because even my husband can't wrap his brain around it yet.
From reading everyone's post it looks like it gets easier with time and treatment, so I am holding on to that hope.

[kykid]

Originally Posted by Starchild3

Now that I know what is going on with me I want to talk to people.. Do you tell people that you have BP? I want to but I'm scared people will think bad things about me (one of my issues anyway)

Do you go back in your head an re-live experiences and realize you should have known? At first I didn't believe I really had this but now looking back I have had classic signs for awhile.

I am always very open when asked about my illness. If people have difficulty with it, why should they be any different than I was? I had difficulty accepting that I was Bipolar in the beginning. It took a very intense self inventory of my past to reveal to me that I have been bipolar all my life. In the past, I had used alcohol and drugs to self-medicate. Now I use a cocktail of drugs to balance myself.

I am at peace now with the diagnosis and am always on the search for new ways of coping with bipolar illness. It is a never ending battle for acceptance and recovery.

[vanessaG]

Im open with certain people. When i was misdiagnosed with depression earlier i was open with everyone... I got more sympathetic responses. With bipolar, some ppl have thrown it back at me in my face when im not acting calm, perfect... Non- opinionated pretty much so now my close family and friends know and thats pretty much it.
Just got out of a long term relationship, but when im in another ill probably tell him too.
I choose not to disclose it to employers, and probably never will unless i have to for some reason.

[Starchild3]

Why is it that depression is acceptable and then add mania or hypo mania and people freak out??

I haven't told anyone except a close co-worker who also has mental health issues, and we vent to one another. Even she (whom I have had to take to the ER for a mental breakdown) acted a bit different when I told her. She is very supportive but when I wanted to talk about it some more she changed the subject. Just that semi-neutral reaction is why I will keep it to myself as long as I can.

I have done alot of thinking and my feeling is as long as I am on medication and am getting treatment why do I have to live under a label. I will try not to dwell on my diagnosis but concentrate on my treatment. Obviously I'm having a good day today.lol

[ohlala]

I don't share it except with close family members who know anyway since I was hospitalized for mania in the past. It seems to be chic these days to throw the term "bipolar" around and I've observed most people who do this haven't a clue what it really means or how it feels to have the actual diagnosis. IMO still too much of a stigma attached for me to handle public disclosure. Really, who wants to hear about it anyway? I try to avoid discussing my physical "aches and pains" with people as well, so why would I share a diagnosis of mental illness? Unless a person needs some sort of special accomodation I really don't see the point...And the point about the diagnosis being "thrown back at you" really does happen. I've seen it happen with my cousin (who is also BP). Her grown children making remarks like , "Well, you're wacky because you're biploar...". I can live without comments like that...

[starryz]

It is very hard for us to digest much less someonr else. They don't knoe how you really feel. It is not easy to describe. At least we can educate ourselves to keep the ignorance at bay!

[roads]

It wasn't too difficult for me because in a way I'd been through it all before--with alcoholism. When I told my best friend, she screwed up her face & said, "Are you going to do the alphabet? Don't do the Big C!"

Some people just can't handle bad news, especially someone else's. I've found that sometimes it helps to say to them, "You dont need to do anything. I just didn't want you to hear this from someone else." I know, you shouldn't have to make it easier for them.

Originally Posted by ohlala

... It seems to be chic these days to throw the term "bipolar" around and I've observed most people who do this haven't a clue what it really means or how it feels to have the actual diagnosis...

Yes. So much. This use as a casual descriptor drives me right up a wall. It completely trivializes a very serious thing. And makes me feel even more misunderstood and alone (as if that's needed...). Starchild3... revealing is obviously a very personal decision, but... one piece of unsolicited advice if I may? As you were just recently diagnosed, you may want to give yourself some time to come to terms with it in your own self before making many decisions on it. Hope that is ok to say.

I pretty much don't tell*. Ex and son, yes, because I was dx'd while still there. They'd lived with the extremes since forever, so it didn't surprise them one iota. Other than that, there are 5 people IRL that I've told. 3 seem ok with it, though only one of those has actually seen me at both extremes. They scare him, but because of this, he probably "gets it" fairly well for someone who doesn't have it. The other two... both dismissed it, but in different ways. One said, "well, I've never seen you sui". No ****. I totally withdraw. He has a brother w/ schizophrenia, so I thought it would be safe. Sorry I did. The other one replied, "Everyone's bipolar". Weird thing about that one is that he'd seen me bouncing off walls, and had to drag me out of my house to try to keep me from withdrawing (only one who had ever bothered). WTH?

I'd be loathe to tell a boss. I have enough problems in the realm of work. This has been very hard, because I can't otherwise explain myself, but I just can't do it.

*Btw, I don't talk about it. I've just told them, maybe a short conversation, then it's rare that I talk about it again, regardless of what's going on. BF sees it, but even if pressed, I will barely skim the surface and stop.

[Starchild3]

I had originally thought if I talked about it it would help me feel better, and also help educate people and improve the stigma of BP but like alot of ideas that one came and went. I told 1 person thinking I would get sympathy but it wasn't worth it and wish I could take it back. oh well live and learn

[cin1]

Originally Posted by Starchild3

Now that I know what is going on with me I want to talk to people.. Do you tell people that you have BP? I want to but I'm scared people will think bad things about me (one of my issues anyway)

Do you go back in your head an re-live experiences and realize you should have known? At first I didn't believe I really had this but now looking back I have had classic signs for awhile.

Maybe give whomever time to know you some. i can spot bi-polar people because i have it also. plus i have spent a lot of time in metal hospitals. i can also spot a psy . dr. when seeing someone out in public. (not all of the time). i think if someone is afraid of me at the beginning of meeting me, they will run real fast and never look back. but most people don't know all of even some of my bad things, and those who know a few still take me as i am.. The man i married knew i had a illness but he had never seen me in a sick state, so when it did happen years later, he didn't understand, but got me in a hospital when he didn't know what else to do. Plus he brought me home again.

[Anneinside]

Originally Posted by Starchild3

Why is it that depression is acceptable and then add mania or hypo mania and people freak out??

l

Everytime someone with a mental illness does something illegal or harmful to another they report he/she had bipolar or schizophrenia. Depression is NEVER mentioned. Also depression is more common and many people have known friends or family with depression. It isn't scary. Bipolar has been made to be scary.

[Starchild3]

Originally Posted by charlene323

I have been diagnosed for about a month now. I've told close family and friends and as a result, some of my family are not comfortable around me anymore, and I have lost the only friend I have. I have a problem accepting it, because even my husband can't wrap his brain around it yet.
From reading everyone's post it looks like it gets easier with time and treatment, so I am holding on to that hope.

My husband was the one who told me I needed to see a psychologist. He saw my mood swings and realized it was more than depression. He threatened to leave if I didn't get help. So you think he would be supportive right?? Well I didn't even tell him specifics except that my doctor wanted to put me on a stronger mood stablizing drug he seemed extremely surprised. Due to his reaction I haven't gone into specifics except i'm getting treatment.