[AbeIsAbe]

When to start dating?

Do you wait till you are absolutely stable, however long that takes? Or do you forge on and look for love and companionship, support.

Background story: I finally feel ready to date since my diagnosis, since the bipolar reared its ugly head. I shared this with my mother and she told me that she doesn't think it is a good idea because I am not completely stable yet. She said that she wants me fully stable so that I can deal better with rejection and the loss of the relationship. I'm sorry but I disagree. Its ALWAYS going to be difficult to deal with that part of life. Am I wrong? Should I wait? Or is it not going to matter?

[Confusedinomicon]

I started dating my boyfriend before my diagnosis and he's been through it all and we're fairly happy.

Normally had I not been lucky off the bat, I think if I was to date there probably would have been a lot of rejection. I think it's normal though. I think your mom is probably trying to protect you because she's afraid a rejection and loss could trigger you. (The thought of that triggers me...) I think you should date if you feel ready. Since you're just testing the waters don't get too attached to anyone in the beginning and use it as a learning experience.

[venusss]

What is fully stable? If you are waiting for it, you may wait forever....

I say go for that... but move slowly, take your time go get to know the person and for them to let to know you. Don't speak of your diagnosis on first date. Don't speak about it on second date either.

[AbeIsAbe]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

What is fully stable? If you are waiting for it, you may wait forever....

My thoughts exactly.

[AbeIsAbe]

When would you disclose your diagnosis?

[Secretum]

If you feel ready, then you should try. If things get too stressful, you can always end the relationship. If you can find someone who has been through something as well (not necessarily a mental illness), someone who has had his/her own share of suffering, then s/he might make a good potential partner. The only good thing about suffering is that it makes people more empathetic and understanding.

Do you have someone in mind who you would like to date?

[dirt69juggalo]

When to start dating? When you get the chance . The first opportunity I get I know I'm getting back out there. Why wait to be fully stable like already said that could be forever waiting. If you got a chance to companionship go for it playing this game alone sucks

[venusss]

Originally Posted by AbeIsAbe

When would you disclose your diagnosis?

i think that is bit problematic... but I guess when it starts looking up and you feel it may get serious.

You don't wanna decieve the partner... or make him feel he was decieved... but on the other hand... I guess it is better when they get to know you first... it is easier to understand than that you are not all squirel mix, but it is just a quirk you have and are working on (I am not saying that bipolar is a character flaw... it only becomes character flaw when you let it...). If they like you by the time, they may be more willing to deal with your difficult side.

(also from my POW... it may come off as bit needy when you talk about your health needs too soon... may come off as if you are looking for somebody to baby you. Again, depends how you present it).

[AbeIsAbe]

Originally Posted by Secretum

Do you have someone in mind who you would like to date?

No. But I am starting a day program tomorrow which has a lot of people my age. I also keep getting emails from a dating site and thought of re-activating my account.

[oldkingcole]

I would wait until I am stable enough to be mentally capable of dating and see if the person I want to share a relationship with is ok with my decision.

[lad007]

If you feel ready to date, then you are ready to date.
If it gets serious just say-sometimes I have trouble with moods but I take medicine for it.
Don't make it a big deal, and it won't be.

[Hydrophobic1212]

Well, I may not be the best person to be giving advice (my bf just broke up with me because of my problems), this is what I think.

If you feel you're ready, then go for it. Get into it slowly and keep taking things slow. Really, don't rush into it. Go at a pace that will make you feel comfortable. I agree with VenusHalley, if you try to wait until you're stable you might be waiting forever. So if you feel comfortable enough for it, then it doesn't hur to try it out! You're right, rejection might come but it happens. As long as you know to keep your chin up, then things will be alright.

As for when to tell them your diagnosis... I would definitely wait until you're more serious and they know you better. I was just having this situation recently, wondering if I should tell my bf or not but he turned around and betrayed my trust by breaking up with me. You need to be sure that they're someone you can trust with that information.

What I did, is I let them know that I do have some problems with my mood and anxiety but I didn't make a big deal about it. Just kind of let them know without giving them the full story. I didn't do this until I knew them pretty well, though.

I hope this helps you!