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#1
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Well, I missed another choir rehearsal. I had to turn back home not even halfway there, because I was falling asleep at the wheel due to being tired, never mind that I slept almost 12 hours today. I've missed enough rehearsals already this season that I'm kind of wondering if I should talk to my choir director (he's brand new to the symphony) and tell him what's going on, but I don't know if he'll just think I'm making excuses for my absences or if he'll understand. I don't know what to do.
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dx: bipolar I - lamictal 150mg/risperdal 3mg/klonopin .5mg "Neither a lofty degree of intelligence, nor imagination, nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, that is the soul of genius." --Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart |
#2
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Maybe you could try & get some background on the new guy. Possibly approach it as a personal health issue. Could you practice at home?
I could barely sing in the choir at church. Pdoc gave me Inderal for stage fright & it really works. But being asked to do solos, even repeatedly, was/is out of the question, even with Inderal. Hope you get this worked out with your health & your director. ![]() |
![]() nacht
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#3
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![]() ![]() I can practice at home; I have a piano and the music I need. I just... haven't really done much of anything. The new director seems nice enough but he's also really intense, and very "you're part of this choir so I expect you to be at all rehearsals." If nothing else works, maybe I can just offer to sit out on this performance (it doesn't happen until March). I just don't want to take a leave of absence, even if I've been considering it. ![]()
__________________
dx: bipolar I - lamictal 150mg/risperdal 3mg/klonopin .5mg "Neither a lofty degree of intelligence, nor imagination, nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, that is the soul of genius." --Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart |
#4
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You're director might be more understanding than you think, who knows. Especially since it's not till march.
Have you had a med change or tweak recently, or a call into T or pdoc? Just hate to see you miss out on such an outside passion. Your best is all you can do, don't beat yourself up about it. Good luck & take care of yourself. ![]() |
#5
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I have, actually - I hadn't been on meds for a long time and I'm back on now. I can't tell if that's causing the sleepiness or if it's this bout of depression that's making me constantly tired.
Thank you. ![]()
__________________
dx: bipolar I - lamictal 150mg/risperdal 3mg/klonopin .5mg "Neither a lofty degree of intelligence, nor imagination, nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, that is the soul of genius." --Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart |
#6
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Hi Nacht, Here I am just as I said I might be. Caught you here and cannot resist "jumping in". I suspect very strongly that the problem lays with your meds, especially if you have not been on them for some time. Maybe the pdoc started you on too high a dose. Ask him to lower it somewhat and see what happens.
I think you need to be in that concert in March. It would certainly add to your self-esteem. For me it would be a great morale booster. To pass it up, I am afraid you will be "kick-butting" yourself on the performance days. You cannot afford to feel failure when you are dealing with depression. It only makes it worse. Try and think of this whole thing as a challenge, and then, put the boxing gloves on and become a winner. ![]() I might give your concert master the benefit of the doubt. Just tell him only as much as he needs to hear. Do it in a strong positive way that will show him how much you want to remain with the choir. Let him make the decision. Right now you are assuming that all is lost. I don't think so. You CAN conquer the "black dog" (depression)! If he is biting you, bite him back. ![]() ![]() |
![]() kindachaotic, nacht
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#7
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I talked to him and he was very understanding! *whew*
The rehearsals for this particular piece are being put on hiatus until after the Christmas season, so he asked me to stick with it if at all possible.
__________________
dx: bipolar I - lamictal 150mg/risperdal 3mg/klonopin .5mg "Neither a lofty degree of intelligence, nor imagination, nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, that is the soul of genius." --Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart |
#8
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Quote:
See, I knew you could do it. I am sooooooo glad this is working out for you. I think it is a very important step in the right direction for you. Most people understand if you are "upfront" with them. ![]() ![]() ![]()
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![]() Remember, no matter how many times you go down ... come up for air! ![]() |
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