[Emily_Strange]

Lies:From having had surgery, being an heiress with great sums on money, having had three abortions in high school [but she told someone else she was a virgin during that time], being pregnant and having a miscarriage, getting raped in a foreign country[when the timing of her landing makes the event improbable], being attacked in a riot [instead of raped, in the same foreign country], pointed herself out in pictures as a skinny girl in high school but she's been overweight all her life, having diabetes, just discovering who her birth father is, the father that raised her died at thirteen [the birth father raised her all along], not knowing who her birth mother is, graduating high school, getting a grant to attend Syracuse U [she was following a boy she apparently got engaged to and never took classes], leaving college for a looong weekend to go "horseback riding" and having detailed stories to accompany, taking a class at Harvard and Harvard BEGGING her to stay, her mother doing cocaine and heroin [not the case, she pops pain killers], where she is working and if she is working, her claiming her mother is stealing money and taking out loans and credit cards in her name [its all her debt], being able to afford her shopping spree's at Target [its all credit card debt that her mother is actually paying], buying me coach and burberry purses for each holiday with her "heiress money", the amount in her paychecks, her credit score, the fact that her phone breaks every month...And now she has cancer? Probably not.

These lies have been going on for 5 years.

Whenever approached or questioned further about her claims, she gets anxious, irritable, and upset.

She seems to disappear for long periods of time, her story never seems to add up. New Jersey, Boston, Salem, New York. Randomly traveled to L.A and London.
Maybe. Who knows.

She was engaged recently, to a second man [this is true]. If he left to go on a business trip, she wouldn't leave the apartment or keep the house clean or unpack after moving. Her fiance says everything "froze" while he was gone. She was scared of being alone in the house. She apparently went to talk to a grocery store clerk because she was scared of being in the apartment alone. She would order food in. She wouldn't make her life function without him. She bossed him around. She was needy and wanted attention. He never had a moment to himself.

She owes a hefty sum of money to a mutual friend.

No one knows where she is living at the moment. No one has heard from her in a month. That tends to happen frequently.

She's addicted to sleeping pills, we think...And probably other prescriptions like her mother.
According to her, she took so many pills one night, she sleep walked, cooked, moved things around and made trails of tampons around the house while, I think, talking to herself...While unaware of what was going on. She was mostly asleep and thought it was a dream.

Her parents smoked a lot of weed.

She likes...Twilight. Haha.

What is wrong with my best friend?!

I want to say bipolar cause of the manic traveling and debt she's accumulating, but.....

[OneDown]

It sounds more like Borderline Personality Disorder.

[likewater]

Yowsers. Sorry about your friend . This sounds pretty serious. I hope she gets professional help. Only a professional could really diagnose her, but i agree she is definitely ill.

[~Christina]

Sorry your friend is having such a rough time ..Yes! certainly she needs professional help. Im kinda surprised that shes been this ill for 5 years .... Maybe when she vanishes she could be getting treatment somewhere ?

Because of all the Hippa laws your not going to be able to call around and see if shes a patient anywhere .

Good luck to you both .. She definatly needs help .

[AniManiac]

Originally Posted by Emily_Strange

She's addicted to sleeping pills, we think...And probably other prescriptions like her mother.
According to her, she took so many pills one night, she sleep walked, cooked, moved things around and made trails of tampons around the house while, I think, talking to herself...While unaware of what was going on. She was mostly asleep and thought it was a dream.

This can actually happen. It happened to my mom on Ambien (and other sleep meds). She did the laundry, cooked, ate, even went out and drove to the video rental store and got a movie - all while she was asleep. She didn't really remember doing any of it and only knew it had happened because she had the receipts, food was missing, the laundry was done, etc. It was very, very scary.

So not all of these things are necessarily lies...

Just need to point out that lying is NOT a bipolar symptom.
(Not to say you said that. You didn't. But with BP being brought up as the only guess and lying seeming to be her biggest problem, I just felt compelled. It's a thing with me... )

That said, she seems to have quite a few serious problems. We of course can't diagnose, but it seems super likely that it's more than one thing going on. I do agree that there seem to be some possible indications of Borderline Personality Disorder in there (her interactions with her BF for instance), but wow, there's sooo much more. If I were a therapist, I'd sure be curious to know what drives her compulsive lying. Is it such a habit that it's a reflex to every situation? Is it to keep attention on herself because she's afraid w/o drama and exaggeration she won't hold people's interest? Is she so desperate for sympathy (a lot of them seem geared toward trying to get this reaction from others) that she goes to such lengths to try to get it?

The moving around could be a lot of things too. It could be manic, but it might be trying to escape the consequences of her lying, making it easier to keep details foggy, trying to escape herself. The thinking that if one just goes somewhere new everything will suddenly be different, and all troubles (and maybe consequences) can be left behind. Unfortunately, wherever we go, there we are.

You say that when confronted, she gets anxious, irritable and upset. Defensive, ya? Let me guess. Blame is shifted to others, and everything is perfectly justified, so really, who are you to question it? Somehow always the victim? Or that it's just never a good time to bring something up because they are just too upset over some other crisis they've created for themselves? (Been there with trying to deal with someone like that, and it's super frustrating. Trying to confront on even a single issue, and next thing you know, everything comes into play, till the original point is totally deflected...)

You may well be onto something with addiction. That can sure be surrounded by a lot of lies and denial.
(AniManiac has a point too with those actions maybe being something else entirely. And AniManiac , that sure must have been scary!)

Whatever all is going on, I can't imagine she feels very good about herself, even if she pretends otherwise. Like I said before, I think she has way more than one thing at play here, and only a therapist could begin to unravel it. I sincerely hope she is able to get help.

Hope I didn't go on too much(!) To have been on your end, even on a MUCH smaller scale has frustrated the **** out of me, so I can scarcely imagine...
Please be sure to take care of yourself. It's all too easy to forget in the vortex this kind of behavior creates. Lots of sssssssss, Emily_Strange!

[Emily_Strange]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Just need to point out that lying is NOT a bipolar symptom.
(Not to say you said that. You didn't. But with BP being brought up as the only guess and lying seeming to be her biggest problem, I just felt compelled. It's a thing with me... )

That said, she seems to have quite a few serious problems. We of course can't diagnose, but it seems super likely that it's more than one thing going on. I do agree that there seem to be some possible indications of Borderline Personality Disorder in there (her interactions with her BF for instance), but wow, there's sooo much more. If I were a therapist, I'd sure be curious to know what drives her compulsive lying. Is it such a habit that it's a reflex to every situation? Is it to keep attention on herself because she's afraid w/o drama and exaggeration she won't hold people's interest? Is she so desperate for sympathy (a lot of them seem geared toward trying to get this reaction from others) that she goes to such lengths to try to get it?

The moving around could be a lot of things too. It could be manic, but it might be trying to escape the consequences of her lying, making it easier to keep details foggy, trying to escape herself. The thinking that if one just goes somewhere new everything will suddenly be different, and all troubles (and maybe consequences) can be left behind. Unfortunately, wherever we go, there we are.

You say that when confronted, she gets anxious, irritable and upset. Defensive, ya? Let me guess. Blame is shifted to others, and everything is perfectly justified, so really, who are you to question it? Somehow always the victim? Or that it's just never a good time to bring something up because they are just too upset over some other crisis they've created for themselves? (Been there with trying to deal with someone like that, and it's super frustrating. Trying to confront on even a single issue, and next thing you know, everything comes into play, till the original point is totally deflected...)

You may well be onto something with addiction. That can sure be surrounded by a lot of lies and denial.
(AniManiac has a point too with those actions maybe being something else entirely. And AniManiac , that sure must have been scary!)

Whatever all is going on, I can't imagine she feels very good about herself, even if she pretends otherwise. Like I said before, I think she has way more than one thing at play here, and only a therapist could begin to unravel it. I sincerely hope she is able to get help.

Hope I didn't go on too much(!) To have been on your end, even on a MUCH smaller scale has frustrated the **** out of me, so I can scarcely imagine...
Please be sure to take care of yourself. It's all too easy to forget in the vortex this kind of behavior creates. Lots of sssssssss, Emily_Strange!

Haha. no its fine.

That last part is what I ended up realizing. I have so much on my plate right now. I have a long stormy history to cope with everyday, plus a "philandering" career. Most people would be surprised to know all the things in my head I have to work though in order to be a good friend, girlfriend, and coworker. Its a great effort to be the level headed person everyone likes so much, ya know? That's a whole other story.

I talked to the father the other day, we both have conflicting stories about her life. Apparently the ex-fiance talked to the mother, and they too have conflicting stories totally separate from ours. Combine all ours together and its a mess. We don't know whats true anymore, we don't know who she is. She probably doesn't know either. The ex thinks she has a Delusional Disorder of some kind and doesn't realize she's lying and truly believes her own stories. I'm more thinking along the lines of what you said - Like she knows what she's doing and is thus spreading herself thin across the northeast so that she can be a more effective liar...For one reason or another.

Yes, you nailed her on the head. Always the victim of some dramatic catastrophe. Could never bring anything up, the issue was always skirted somehow.

Its sad, because people like this are probably very difficult to get into therapy.

I don't know if she'll ever change.

God I hope her family stages an intervention, or something.

Thanks for all your input, everyone.